Dad

I've been trying to gather my thoughts to write this and trying to think of words that come to mind when I think of my dad. "Husband", "doctor", "brother", "uncle", "grandfather". All of these are obviously part of who he was but the thing that I circle back to every time, the thing which sums him up and made him who he was is "Dad". For me, my dad was first and foremost a dad. My dad. Anne's dad. Trip's dad. Maggie's dad. Cullen's dad. It so perfectly defined him. If you asked him what his greatest accomplishment was, I have no hesitation in saying his answer would have been, "My kids!" He loved being a dad. He taught us all so much about being a good person. He taught us how to be loyal and hard working; how to never give up and stay true to what you love. How to persevere and follow through. He loved fiercely and that showed in everything he did from his work as a doctor to his love of music and wine and food and Put-In-Bay. But again, where his love shined most was through his children. 

Every time I see my siblings, I see a part of my dad in them. In Anne it's her sense of conviction. I see how she stands strong and true to her beliefs. She doesn't back down from what she sees as right and she's unwavering in her values and vision. I see that through those lessons from dad, Anne has passed those same qualities down to Madison and Max. What an amazing thing to have learned and in turn teach your own children. 

As much as I think my dad was a great father, I have to say that Trip has him beat. Trip took my dad's example and ran away with it. When I think about unconditional love I see Trip and JJ. Trip is the epitome of patience, kindness, loyalty, honesty, affection, and support. Seeing the person that JJ has become is a true testament to how my own father instilled in Trip the qualities of being a great dad. It's a wonderful thing to witness and I know Dad is so proud of his son and grandson. 

I think in most families there's one person that provides stability. This is the person that everyone calls first when they need a shoulder to cry on. In my family that person is Maggie. There's just a solidness about her that gives one a sense of calmness. In her, through her constancy, I see my dad. When I was little and got scared at night I would go down to my parents bedroom. I always went to my dad's side. I knew that he could talk me out of being scared and provide me a sense of peace. For myself and I think my siblings, Maggie has become that sense of calm, that steadying voice, that dependability and I know those are qualities she took from my dad's example. 

Watching Cullen come into his own as an artist, whether it be an actor, writer, or director made my dad so proud. My dad absolutely LOVED the arts and to have a son who took that example and made it his career allowed my dad to live vicariously through his son. There was nothing Cullen did that my dad wasn't proud of and he was always his biggest cheerleader. My dad instilled in Cullen the confidence that he could succeed in anything as long as he tried. He gave him unwavering love and support and in turn taught Cullen to reach for the stars and race after his dreams. 

Here are the things I took from my dad: My chin (the Arbaugh chin), my green eyes, my cheekbones, my jacked up hips, eyes and shoulders (could’ve done without those), my stubbornness (Jim could’ve done without that); my skill at whistling, my skill at pool volleyball, my love of music, my love of wine and best of all my love of family. I have the best family and it's all because I had the best dad. There was nothing my dad loved more than spending time together. Planning a dinner, enjoying each other's company, laughing. My dad instilled in all of us that family is really all you need. 

I can't imagine there is anything more satisfying than looking at your children, seeing their success and happiness and knowing that you were somehow a part of making that happen. I hope my dad knows how much we appreciated all the things he gave us. I hope he knows that what we are today is because of all he instilled in us. I hope my dad is looking down at all of us, smiling and feeling proud of what he created. I hope he felt our love surrounding him as he moved into the next world. He will forever be loved and we will forever be grateful that we were lucky enough be raised by someone so special. Rest in peace dad. You did life well and you have your children to show for it. See you!