Aardman Creature Comforts: We Are Lions

I love this one!

Strike 2!!!

Well, I'm nearly to the point where "new girl" at school has caused me to reached the breaking point. If her head, shoulders and knees don't descend from the head honcho's ass soon, we just may lose her - which wouldn't be much of a loss. It's lodged so firmly in there, I'm wondering how she can stand the stench! She must be suffocating. I'm not sure how she functions throughout the day without his constant nod of approval. I'm guessing, though, she stops in the office several times to "gab" about old times at the former school they both came from. Good lord! I've never met a bigger ass kisser. I'm this close to saying I hate her but I'll give her one more pitch before I flush her down the toilet. I mean, two weeks is enough, right? She's had a fair amount of time to get on my good side yet she has failed to do so. And, we all know that it's all about me, right? Seriously! Who comes into a new school and immediately starts to change things because they were "better" where they used to work. Here's a question: If the old place was so great, why'd you leave? Even better, here's a suggestion: If we suck so bad, why not just go back from whence you came, ass-kisser girl! Oh, that's right! Because you came here so you have your head up head honcho's ass!

K - I've vented! I feel better. By the way, the picture even resembles new girl. I need to think of a good nickname for her. Suggestions?

4 Days!!!

It's been four days since I posted. I must be busy!

Things are actually slowing down at work. I've been able to catch up with the "beginning of the year" paperwork and get into the swing of things. My kids are really very good - I have a really nice bunch of freshmen and my "old" kids are still super. I guess I should call myself lucky. There are still times when the bell will ring to begin, say 3rd period and I'll suddenly forget what I'm doing and I'll have to ask the kids, "What class am I teaching?" I'm so confused. I've never taught two of the same classes twice in the day (that's 2 language arts and 2 social studies). I find myself telling the same jokes throughout the day too. And of course laughing at myself. I'm sure the kids think I'm a total maroon. Like I care.

IEP's start Friday - I'll have one and I've already written it along with most of 2 others (I have 5 total through September 21) so I'm REALLY ahead of the game there.

Other than that, nothing exciting is going on here. It's hotter than Hades and if it doesn't break soon, I might rip my hair out. My backyard is a fire hazard and by the fall when it starts raining cats and dogs, it'll be a mud puddle. I've told Jim it will be his job to "slit-seed" before leaves fall so we can TRY and grow a little grass before all Autumn-hell breaks loose. I can't wait though - my favorite time of year. Chili and football and windows open and sweat pants and slippers and fires in the fireplace...okay, too hot to think about that yet.

Must go scat and head to work. Later beeyotches! (not you Mom!)

Why Am I So Stupid?

Why can't I FREAKING install this STUPID software for school onto my computer? It's driving me FREAKING crazy (and you know that's not the word I'm sitting here saying)!

So, they got rid of the way we used to be able to connect to the server at school from home (you know, so I can work on IEP's from home or connect to my files at school) and replaced it with Cisco. So I have the CD to install and the directions and I get to the point where it asks for my user name and password and it keeps FREAKING giving me an error and won't let me on. I'm so frustrated right now and it's only 7:11 in the FREAKING morning! I haven't even finished my first cup of coffee. I'm about to whizz this CD like a Frisbee right out the window!!!

Lisa - HELP!!!

A Few Things About Me

I thought about including a new category in my blog - obviously titled. It will be a running tally and it will include crazy quirks and simple favorites.

1. I'm a freak about the neatness of my bed: Meaning - my covers must be properly tucked and non-wrinkled. If they happen to get wrinkled while I sleep, I'm libel to get your arse out of bed to fix any said wrinkles (Again, poor Jim - who happens to be a 6'2ish sleeper who untucks, unwillingly because of his huge feet). I hardly move while sleeping because I can't stand to have messy covers.

2. I make a menu every week and shop accordingly.

3. My favorite season is fall. Why? Because I love the smell of leaves nearing their ripeness and the breezes that allow me to have my windows open 24/7. I love knowing that the days are shorter and I can cuddle up in my sweats and sit and read on a Sunday without anything to do but prepare for Monday and watch football.

4. My favorite food that my mom ever made was Beef Stroganoff and I've learned enough from her that it is now Jim's favorite.

5. My best friend is Maggie - my sister. 'Nough said.

The Boleyn Inheritance by Philippa Gregory

Well, I finished Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa Lee. I give it 3 1/2 (closer to 4) out of 5 stars. It took me a long time to read, not only because I've been crazy busy with school but because it was a pretty intense book. The characters, though likable, are extremely flawed, partly because of their culture. As a woman in the 21st century, it is difficult to understand how a woman in 19th century China handled the cards that were dealt to her. One of the quotes that sum up the woman's existence in China at the time: "When a girl, obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband; when a widow, obey your son." In reality, there isn't a moment of freedom for women in this book, nor, I imagine in China at the time. And, ugh, the foot-binding is God-awful. I never knew the method and I can't imagine the pain. Basically, girls of 6 or 7 are forced to have their feet bound so that their toes are bent under their feet. They are then forced to walk until weeks later, their bones break (the goal) so that when healed, they are forever bent that way. A perfectly bound foot would be about 7 cm long - that's less than 3 inches. Hopefully in that time, infection doesn't set in and they don't die but often times they did. This was done to attract a man. Yuck.


Anyway, this book was about the importance of friendships, specifically between women and how such a friendship is often more important, intense and meaningful than a marriage. It illustrates how misunderstandings and an unbendable nature can ruin such a friendship and the price that is often paid because of selfishness. All in all, not too upbeat.


I am now onto my next book: The Boleyn Inheritance by Phillipa Gregory. This is the sequel to The Other Boleyn Girl. It takes place, again, in Henry VIIIs court and features his fourth and fifth wives, Anne of Cleves and Katherine Howard. In addition, there is much written about the character, Jane Boleyn, Anne Boleyn's sister-in-law (married to Anne's brother) who testified against Anne, leading to her execution. She is one of Anne of Cleves lady-in-waiting and ambitious to the extreme. It should be a good read. I'll let you know.

You Know Your Husband's A Dufus When...

...you get home from a hard days work, stumble in from 100 degree heat and find that he forgot to turn the A/C on before he left this morning. (See, in the mornings, we often turn it off and open the door so that the dogs can come and go.) I walked into an 82 degree house. Poor Bubba could barely get his big old biscuits off the tepid tiles. First Sami gets left out all night and then Jim tries to cook our puppies - on one of the hottest days of the year!!! Seriously, I'd call Puppy Services on his arse if he weren't my husband (you know, like children's services).

So I checked and it looks like the weather will break next Thursday. The high is supposed to be 79! I live for that...I can't wait until I can revel in 55 degree nights with my windows open, under cool sheets rather than waking up soaking wet. As a former student with a speech impediment used to say, "Bwing it on"!

K - must go sit and drink (o.j. and ginger ale - it's not even 4 yet), cool down and watch Take Home Chef.

Terrible Dreams

Ugh! Though I actually slept well last night, I had some doozies in the dream department.

The first one, I was getting ready for school and the phone rang and I was really excited because I thought it was going to be a teacher telling me school had been closed (which is weird because there are a bunch of schools closing today and letting out early due to heat). It wasn't. It was my brother, Trip, telling me something terrible about Maggie. I'm not even going to repeat it but you can guess. Well, no, I better say because I've heard that if you don't share a bad dream, it will come true and no, I don't really believe that but if this came true it would be the worst. So anyway, he called to tell me that Maggie was dead! (That was me whispering it by the way). I immediately woke myself up because I could tell I was talking in my sleep saying, "no, no, no,no."


Then I dreamt I was walking the dogs with Trip, Maggie, Mom and Susan and we were walking Molly, Wolfie and C.C.. We were walking up this really steep hill in Clifton, and at one point we were walking along the side of a house with a little deck off the back and there was this basset hound that looked exactly like Liberty Bell on it and I said, "Hey, it's Libby!" So the owners invited us in and Holy Crap, you can't believe this place. They had about 15 cats, several other dogs, gerbils, birds, snakes, every animal you can think of. And they hadn't cleaned their house in, well, ever. There was fur covering every nook and cranny. All I could think of was, "Poor Maggie is gonna start sneezing." We got the hell out of there.


Then I was at this house and I was a cop on a stakeout waiting for this guy who had made plans to kill his ex-girlfriend and her daughter. I was on the fire escape and we had expected him to come in that way but he didn't and I realized where he was going to come in so I had to run down and tell my partner - who happened to be Benjamin Bratt - that I was pretty sure the bad dude was already inside and we needed to hightail it to save the chick inside. We did and her daughter and then it ended up that Benjamin Bratt was not only my partner in work but my partner in the bedroom too. Not bad for unconscious thinking!

K-must go to work! Poo! I mean, Scat!!!

No Whoopins For Muir

Maggie told me that if I didn't update my blog I was going to get a whoopin so here I am, heeding my sister's demands (the beeyotch)!

So school has officially started - the students showed up today and I must say that it is a relief to have it all underway (I typed underwear). The past week has been hectic with nothing at school being ready. For example - according to our teachers contract, the administration is supposed to give us our teaching scheduled by August 1st. We didn't have them until the afternoon of August 20th. This could have been cause for a grievance to be filed but - story short - it won't be. Anyway, it just gives you an idea of what we've all been dealing with - not just special ed.

And speaking of special ed - I'm happier now that we've lost a room because it means I see less of the people that annoy me. And I say people because I think the new girl is heading toward my foot up her ass. Seriously, I think she's gunning for "control" of the department and it irritates me because I feel like she thinks she's better than the rest of us and has more experience and better ideas. I'm trying to keep an open mind but it's difficult. I am, however, smiling and acting like everything is great: She skipped into our room at the end of the day today, whipping her hair around, and sang, "How was your first day of school girls?" (to Lisa and I). We both answered enthusiastically, "Good" and she responded by spinning on her heel and trilling, "Awesome!" My foot wanted to follow her perky little ass right out the door. (I sound bitter don't I? Eh, f&%k it! I'm sick of people telling me how crappy our department is when we've had parents happy for years! I could go on and on but I'll save that for a later date).

I will say that the great thing about today was how fast it went. I felt like I never had any real down time. I know this won't always be the case but it's nice. I didn't even have time to get hungry. The only reason I ate lunch was because it was lunch time. I even liked my lunch room duty. I've never had lunch room duty. I just stood there and guided kids into the cafeteria line and chatted to one of the gym teachers - Gawy (he has a slight speech impediment-can you figure out what his name is?). It's nice to see the kids in a different atmosphere than a classroom one. I say this now but the first food fight and I'm outta there! I certainly won't be the one trying to break it up, I'll be crouched behind the drink display.

So, BB8 is on tonight - at 9 - which means I'll be up late. Oh well, I'm not doing any real teaching this week anyway! I'll just be grumpy and hey, there's nothing wrong with the new kids learning quickly about dealing with a sleep deprived and short-tempered Muir! Learn em quickly!

K - Jimmy's home - gotta go walk some sweeties!

T-Minus 2 - EFF!!!

Ugh! I can't believe that school starts (with kids) on Tuesday. To tell the truth, I'm actually not too upset about it. I look forward to the every day issues of dealing with the kids rather than the issues I've been dealing with in regards to administration etc. So it will actually be a relief when I'm teaching and getting the year started.

So, my plans today are to make a delicious breakfast: fried bread, bacon and eggs; clean house; walk dogs; go to the store to get ink for an old printer that will be going to work with me tomorrow; begin some Poetry lessons for my English class to start the year; make dinner; soak in a bathtub for at least an hour (I didn't get my relaxing bath Friday or yesterday); hug my babies; watch Big Brother!

I had weird dreams last night (I know, unusual). About my old friend from high school/college Adreinne Toomey (that's her on the right - yes, and me on the left. I think we're seniors and we were in Chemsitry class). She was in town visiting. It was raining. We were at my parents house and Maggie was there. And we went swimming - in the rain. I had gone inside to get something and when I came out, Maggie and Adrienne had gotten out of the pool and when Maggie passed me on her way inside, she told me that I needed to talk to Adrienne because she had something important to share with me. I never got to find out what it was though because Bubba woke me up with his gunky ears and head shaking. Poor fellow!

So, I was interested in that new stuff "Dinovite" a supplement powder that is put into a dogs food to help with itching, scratching, shedding etc. After investigating, um, I'll just stick with the stuff the vet gave me: A 5-gallon pail is $194! Well, okay, there is the 90 day supply for someone Bubba's size that is only $50 but still, I would end up feeding it to all the dogs and though it is all natural I would have to spend more than that. I'm poor! See, I need to win the lottery! For Bubba's health, God! Come on! He's innocent!

K - gotta go wake Jim up so he can go to the store to get more eggs.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!

A loud, from-the-rooftops shout out to Lisa who is celebrating a birthday today!

Lisa, I hope you have a relaxing and quiet day. Don't do any work (though I know you probably will) and don't think about what is starting on Tuesday! Remember that the only reason I'm sane most days - okay, everyday, is because you sit next to me at school and keep me calm. You know that if I had a million bucks I'd share it with you but for now, you'll just have to be content in the knowledge that when I do win that money, you'll get a cut.

Have a great birthday! (I would post a picture but after my hard drive died, I didn't load them all back on again - I know you're upset. I'll try and find a picture.)

I'm In Hell

I'm in Ragweed hell! I think my nose has one less layer of skin on it and I think my brains are starting to pour out of my ears. August sucks! Ragweed allergies suck and there's little I can do. I rarely take a pill for this because I sometimes have adverse reactions. Tonight was no exception. I tried taking a Claratin and lo and behold at around 7 p.m., my peripheral vision started going and I couldn't read the subtitles in Return of the Jedi. I then started getting a massive headache and had to just sleep for about 30 minutes. I'm a little better now but my head is still pounding and my nose is a dripping, stuffed, sore mess.

Ugh! I could sure use some Fugdy Nut Ice Cream Pie! I sure wish my sister would make me one!

Happy Birthday Richard!

Happy Birthday Richard!!!

Today is my step-father's birthday. He and Mom are on the road, heading home to Tennessee so I probably won't talk to him. I hope you had a great, relaxing time on your vacation and I hope you have a great and relaxing day today. Cheers and I'm sending you a great big hug and kiss!!!

STINK!!!

Just an update: I did not win the lottery last night! I'm not sure what's going on! I specifically told God that if he let me win the lottery I would start going to church and give to charity and become a more charitable person. He obviously wasn't listening to me. If you can't bargain with God, I mean hell, who's left? Damn!!! I mean DERN!!!

I'll have to put my new bathtub on hold. And my pool (I wrote poos first - better not put that on hold). And paying off my bills. See, I don't understand. I don't know why God doesn't give me this one thing. I mean I don't plan on spending frivolously. I'm not going to go and buy big gold nugget rings for Jim (although I should and then make him wear them) or Bentley convertibles and great big mansions where Jim and I get lost. No, I just want to pay bills and replace some broken or crappy crap! Come on God!!! Throw me a bone!!!

Okay, maybe I cuss a little. I try not to do it in front of people that would be offended. And maybe I'm a tad catty. So I like gossip and I live vicariously through others mess-ups. And maybe I'm a little bitchy to people that annoy me - it isn't my fault they're annoying. They should stop being annoying. And maybe I've broken a few commandments (there are 10 right?) but I haven't broken the big ones like murder or coveting my neighbors wife (I don't like the ladies) or committing adultery. And I keep the Sabbath day holy - I certainly don't work on that day although I have in the past but that's because I had to because I'm poor. If I had won the lottery I wouldn't have had to. See, we're back where we started.

Okay, I'm going to buy another set for Tuesday and do like Joyce at school did (she won a $50 Visa yesterday during the raffling of prizes): Picture myself winning, say my numbers over again and again and then CACHING - I'm a millionaire.

Putting My New Motto To Good Use

Well, today was the first day back to school and I must say that my new motto was used quite often today. Here's how it works: Something comes up, lets say, a change in the new special ed teachers schedule. My initial reaction would be to get all worked up and rant and rave about the fact that no one discussed it with the department and blah, blah, blah. Now, I say to myself (or whoever is standing there next to me), "Does this affect me in anyway? No? Oh, okay then, not my problem." It works like a charm - sort of. I'm still trying to convince my mind to this way of thinking and it will take a while but I'm getting there. I just have to remember that the people in the school who have turned the special ed department (and so my life) upside-down don't have a personal vendetta against me. In fact, they probably haven't given me two thoughts in carrying out their actions. For them it's all about "efficiency" - and making everyone else in the building happy - regardless of special ed - because we don't do anything anyway. Why should we get any favors? See, sometimes I can't help but be bitter, it just slips out.

Anyway, Jim just called me and asked if I was interested in a margarita! I know! I laughed too. Of course I'm interested in alcohol. You'd think the guy just met me. He has been in the heat all day - that's probably it.

Okay - I'm off to strawberry margarita heaven!

Another Day Another Headache

Strrrrrrretch! Man I'm exhausted. Staring at a computer for hours at a time is extremely tiring. Not to mention my eyes burning and watering. I must have worked on the laptop for 6 hours straight yesterday (not to mention the time I was on it at school). And, you can expect another several hours today in preparation for work starting TOMORROW!!!

So, a quick update on the screwballs at work that continue to make special ed life hell. (And screwballs kind of makes them sound cute and funny so maybe I should change that to "devils in disguise" or fraudulent f*$kers or underhanded asses or deceiving dimwits or cunning c...) Anyway, yesterday I went to work and after about 3 hours I was able to leave the building with the 140ish schedules I had been trying to get for the past week (I finally did it myself using a certain someones password). I was also finally able to get on my computer so I could do some planning and printing for my World History class and I was able to go through the cabinets to start planning for my Language Arts classes. I was also given the runaround by my ever helpful and upfront principal (insert sarcastic tone of voice and roll of eyes here). There is some serious sneaking going on on his part - he won't let me get a glimpse of the master schedule for some reason and I don't know why. I'm sure he's f*$ked us in some way but I'm not sure how.

Then I came home and started the tedious task of typing up all the schedules and then inserting them in the master schedule that I was creating so that I have something to give to teachers on Monday telling them who they have that is special ed in each of their classes. I managed to type all the schedules and I have gotten seniors into the master.

Another problem we're dealing with is trying to find what our resource rooms are going to look like (special ed study halls). There are 53 kids who have it written in their IEP that they are to have a study hall in the resource room. Because it is written in their IEP it legally must happen. The administration is trying to have all our kids put in regular study hall where they will be pulled out. It's a freaking nightmare and the are doing this without even knowing what we do and I just can't think about it anymore - or at least for the next 10 minutes.

Oh - quick insert - the administration is also trying to blame their ineptness and deceit and lying on a "miscommunication" caused by the absent administrator that they so clearly forced out and treated like crap. So easy to blame her when she isn't there to stick up for herself. Bunch of liars!

So in a few minutes I'm going to walk dogs, exercise, eat breakfast and then sit back down at the computer to continue typing more school crap.

I'll type more later and it will be about something other than school.

And The Torture Continues

So, here in a few minutes I will get my crap together (take the dogs for a walk and then shower) in preparation for going up to school - to be disappointed, again. I still can't get to any schedules which I find suspicious because my Edline account was updated yesterday - meaning, I now have the four classes listed that I will be teaching with the students listed. This tells me that schedules should be complete yet I can't get to them. Which means that I'll have to annoy someone at school today while all the parents are there trying to pick up the same things I myself and begging for. Why is this so difficult?

I'll let you know how it all turns out in the end. I'm sure I won't be able to get on my computer either which irritates me because I have a ton of crap I could be doing.

K - enough bitching. Later.

Everyone Cross Your Fingers!!!

Everyone needs to cross their fingers, pray to God, sell their souls, wish on a star, wish on an eyelash, and use their telekinetic powers to ensure that I win the lottery tomorrow! Seriously.

I'm getting a stress headache. Why? All I'm saying is I just went to school and have returned home and wish I could resign. Things at school are more crazed than I've ever seen. I can't imagine that the administrators there aren't freaking out. I hope they all have migraines until school starts. Why? The schedules aren't done, rooms aren't ready, teacher computers aren't set up, teacher rooms are wrong and I've never known such deceiving, conniving people in my life. I feel that no one in charge at my school has any moral standards and they have no clue or care about their teachers. I feel like a bunch of back stabbers run the high school and these are individuals who call themselves Christians. Whatever! Would God appreciate how you've lied to people? How you've made countless promises you can't keep? A great administrator said to me recently that what I need to keep in mind is that I will outlast the people in power. They likely won't be at my school in, say, 5 years but I will. I just need to hold on, do my job, not take things too personally and only worry about me.

It's only 1 and I wish it were 5 so I could have a cocktail. Sucks when your job makes you want to drink.

I think I'll go fry myself in the sun and forget about my worries.

Still No Schedules!

Not that I expected anyone at school (the administration) to do anything over the weekend - one week before school starts - but I had hoped. The schedules for students are still not complete as of today - this morning - Monday, August 13th. Students are supposed to be able to pick schedules up tomorrow. And, apparently, the person who normally would get them ready is on vacation until Wednesday (not that it's her fault and I don't put this on her). The ineptness of people (the administration), well, it doesn't really surprise me but it does sort of boggle the mind. It's no wonder the administration loves Lil Platt so much: She is their twin in that she is an unorganized mess just as they are proving to be.

I need to get all this out of my system before I head up to school today so that when I run into someone there, the frustration doesn't show on my face. I should probably wear sunglasses, however, because I'll need to cover the rolling of my eyes when I ask if schedules are complete and I'm inevitably told that they'll be ready, "latest, noon".

Oh, and wouldn't you know that I need to have all the crap for Kim and Diane (or as I called them the other day - Dim and Kiane) ready for Friday because they won't be with us Monday during our workday since they have some stupid meeting from 8-4! That makes our workday a little more difficult! Thanks Sandy! Ah well, I'm just there to do my job, not complain. Roll with the punches Muir, no matter that your face is all bloody!

By the way, I'm pretty sure that my two favorite administrators loaded that wagon - because the donkey has their names written all over it.

Jim's In The Dog House

Jim made a confession to me this morning. He left Sami out all night! Can you believe it? He is a terrible father. I told him that it was a good thing we didn't have kids cause who knows where he would leave the baby. He said he wondered what was weird when he woke up this morning (Sami wasn't jumping on his face) so he went downstairs and there she was, sacked out on the deck. She was probably so confused, thinking she was bad! All lonely with no one to cuddle with. She was probably thinking she had been abandoned again and was homeless!

THIS is why every night I tell him to make sure ALL dogs are in!!! I ask him every night: "Are the dogs in?" And then I make him tell me where they are. I even asked him last night but he said everyone was in! I even got up and looked for her on the guest bed but she wasn't there and I assumed she was at the cat door. I guess I'm nearly as guilty! Jim is evil. He gets no dinner tonight! He is a BAD DOG!!!

AND I STILL DON'T HAVE MY PHONE!!! Next time he leaves with no pants on!

(By the way - doesn't that picture look like Sami's saying: "A Cha cha cha" and then laughing like Muttley?)

Must. Go. To. Pool.

I'm in hell! Literally. I can't stand it anymore so I am going to the pool today. No work. No stressing over the fact that no one at school has removed their heads out of their asses. No cleaning. Just sun and water and relaxation. Doesn't it look refreshing?

So last night, I had the craziest dream. I was a student (sort of) at Kings and I had gone to a movie with one of my current students - not in any date sort of way (gross), more like I was his mother (still, gross). Anyway, this student - I'll call him Kip - has a bit of a temper problem (in real life). He has, in the past gotten pissed and thrown a book across the room - nearly hitting another student, thrown a chair across the room, walked up to a student who had insulted his friend and hit him over the head with a 2x4 (which was hilarious because Kip is about 5'5" and the student he "assaulted" is about 6'3", huge and a freshmen that should be a junior) and many other temper-induced things.

Anyway, in my dream, we had gone to see the Simpson's movie and we were about two rows from the front and it was sort of rowdy prior to the movie starting. These people in front of us kept turning around to talk trash to people that were a few rows behind us. Well, Kip somehow got involved and told the people in front of us that the people behind us were spitting at them. So the big girl behind us hears Kip say this and comes to beat the crap out of Kip. So I have to get involved. I manage to calm her down by telling her "privately" that Kip has anger issues and then I pull his IEP out and show her (I guess I just had it in my purse).

At this point in my dream, Kip and I get up and walk out cause I'm pissed and then I realize we're supposed to be in class. So we go back to school but I'm still really angry so I grab a bottle of beer - the new Miller Lite Chill - stick it in my coat pocket and go to math. All the kids saw me and thought I was cool cause I was daring to drink in class. So another kid decides to do the same and he ends up getting expelled cause he got caught. Moron! It was so weird!

Max's New Name

Maggie and Charlie's bulldog Max has a new name.

See, Maggie always calls him Maxi so I started calling him Maxi Pad and then Max called me the other day and told me that he decided he now wants to be called either Feminine Napkin (FN for short) or Kotex. I suggested Always Dry Weave or Always Flexi-Wing but he thought those were too long and girly.

Holy Moly I Work With Some Slackers!

Okay - a week from today - TODAY - I'm freaking out! Anyway, a week from today, I start school. Now, granted, a week from today I'll be sitting in meetings (that don't interest me and don't relate to special ed in any way) and then Monday is the teacher work day (prepping the room, getting first lessons ready, making sure all IEP's are ready for teacher), but kids will be coming on Tuesday 21st. Which brings me to the reason I may have to get all bitchcakes on some lazy administration arse (I think that picture depicts well what they - the three stooges - have been doing all summer)!

So, as special ed teachers, it is our job to ensure that all regular ed teachers in the building have a copy of a student's IEP that will be in their class. Now, to do this, I need to know a student's schedule. What I usually do is take the master schedule and in a chart, list all 7 period with each teacher listed and what they teach during those 7 periods then, based on the student schedules, I start typing in their names. I/we then distribute this out to all people so they can double check that they have those students and that we haven't misplaced anyone. Then our aides (the incomparable Kim and Diane) take the chart and sort out IEP's, make binders for all teachers and then hand them out personally. Oh, and by the way, this year we have 140ish kids. This is time consuming and a pain in the arse but unavoidable.

Guess how many schedules I have? Zero! Zilch! Nil! None! Goose egg! Duck egg! Platypus egg! Nada! Why? Well, first, the schedules aren't even complete! The classes have been balanced and UGH!!! I know that this means that all the work we did in the Spring with our own kids is going to be messed up!!!

So, I talk to the principal yesterday and he claims (I'm not holding my breath) that they will be done by noon. Latest. Uh huh. Yeah, right!

Oh, and guess what? The guidance secretary is out of town until next Tuesday (she's the one who prints out all the schedules for students)! Student schedule pickup is next Tuesday! What is going on?!

So I ask if the schedules will be available on DASL (the program I can access online) and he says yes. So, today, I will be going through all 140 students and writing down their schedules so that I can begin the tedious process of typing in each and every name about 6 times on the master schedule (which I don't have yet either)! Ugh! Thank god it's miserable here and too hot to be outside.

So that is my plan today - after walking the dogs, walking myself (on the treadmill) bashing some moles over the head (really, I wouldn't be able to do this but I will go shake my fist at them! Take that!), drinking lots of water, hugging my sweeties, taking a bath to relax the carpal tunnel that is going to set in from all the typing, walking the dogs again, cooking dinner (pork chops), and then drinking excessive amounts of alcohol after all my "jobs" are done! Wish me luck.

Wolfie On The Mend

Here's a "get better" shout out to Wolfie - Mom and Richard's dog who has had some health problems of late. He is home from the vet and breathing much better. I hope he can take it easy while they are on vacation and refrain from the bird and squirrel chasing!

(This isn't him but it looks like him)

Jimmy Forgetful

So I have been asking Jim for the past few weeks to bring a regular old telephone home (for some reason he took the ones we had to his brother's house in Clifton) so that we have one that isn't cordless and will work if/when the electricity goes out. Needless to say, I have yet to see the damn thing.

Well, I remembered my Aunt Muir's trick of putting her wristwatch on the wrong wrist to remind her that there was something she was supposed to remember. Instead of his watch, however, I decided that Jim would better remember to get the phone if it was something a little more noticeable. What do you think? I better see that phone tomorrow cause Jim's going to start turning heads if he wears his pants backwards for too long.

10 a.m. And It's Already 90 Degrees

Something is wrong! 90°. At 10 a.m. How can that be?

I tried to beat the heat and mow the lawn before it became too unbearable but I missed. By the time I was finished, I looked like I had just stepped out of the shower, fully clothed. I was dripping. You can imagine I smelled pretty too! And, I only mowed part of the lawn since it's so dry only certain areas were long.

I also need to hire a hit man. I'm willing to pay several thousand pennies if someone will come and take out the mole (or moles) that has (have) turned my yard into a freaking mess. I think it may have to do with the Japanese beetles that have been feasting on my rose of Sharon bushes. It's driving me crazy! Mowing the back yard was like riding in a car with square wheels - all the bumps and ditches - it rattles my teeth. I seriously need to win the lottery and get that back yard fixed!!!

K - must go shower and get to Target to get chewies for my sweeties and rechargeable batteries for my phone! Yeah, my phone not any other toys.

Okay - update: I just read that moles love Japanese beetle larvae more than Cookie Monster loves cookies! F&$KING CRAP!!! I'm getting rid of those rose of Sharon bushes! That's it!!!

Oh, I Crack Me Up!

So, last night's post was obviously a joke. I think my mom thought I was serious about the dresses in the picture - even with the comment that Anne and I had opted for "longer and uglier" ones.

Anyway, here are the real pictures - I don't like the picture of me (the picture is a werid angle, it cuts off my feet and it's a little close! AND look how I'm standing! What's up with that) Anne's looks much better even though she has tan lines. I just hope Susan and Anne didn't lie and say I looked fine when I really looked like poo! I also look like a heifer. Oh well - Maggie knew what she was getting into when she asked me. No one will be looking at me anyway.

(FYI - Maggie - if you change your mind after seeing me, just let me know - my feelings won't be hurt. Hee hee)

Bridesmaid Dresses

Well, here they are Maggie...I hope you don't mind the change that Anne and I opted for! We thought longer and uglier would be better! Don't you agree?

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

I finished my latest J.D. Robb - 3 1/2 out of 5 stars - good and entertaining as usual (though I knew who did it the whole time) and I'm on to my next read.


Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. This is a novel that takes place in 19th century China - a time when women still bound their feet and were forced to live in seclusion from most of society - namely men. Some girls at the time were paired as "old-sames" - laotong - emotional matches that lasted throughout their lives.

The main character, Lily, is paired with a laotong - a girl from a wealthy family named Snow Flower. These two become best friends. Over the years, however, and due to their seclusion, they are forced to communicate via a secret language, call nu shu. They do this by writing on a fan and passing it back and forth. The novel is told in Lily's voice, as an old woman, recounting her relationship with Snow Flower, their arranged marriages, and the joys and tragedies of motherhood—until a terrible misunderstanding threatens to tear them apart. I'll let you know.


I think I have 3 of my original books left to read (I started with about 17 at the beginning of summer). I may just finish them all before school - doubt it though. I added 3 too! Not bad!

Later

Hotter Than Hades!

Mostly Sunny
High98°

Here's why I hate summer at certain times. Really, who can say they like this? 98 degrees! That's nearly halfway to boiling point. Who is this good for? And, it isn't like you can look good when it's this hot! I mean, I have a ton of thick arse hair! I can't wear it down! It's too hot. And aside from shorts or short skirts, and tank tops, what am I supposed to wear. Everything sticks to my arse anyway! Ugh!!! It's so nasty!

I do count myself lucky, however, because I have A/C but what about those poor people who don't? Oh, and get this! It's the hottest week of the year and local pools are closing! Poor kids! It's their only relief from this heat! I am definitely going to Raeburn soon! Can't today but maybe Saturday or Sunday. It's only supposed to get up to 91 then! ONLY!!! You know you're in trouble when the low at night is 80!

So my plans for the day are to walk the dogs (soon - otherwise Bubba will stop in the middle of his jaunt and refuse to go any further - stubborn little sh%&!), do a little work (I'm on the 8th chapter for my world studies class - The Age of Kings), head out to Mt. Adams where I'm meeting Laci and Terri for lunch, come home and then at 5, I'm meeting Anne at her house so we can go try on our bridal dress (see if we like the one Maggie picked or look like crap - well I'll look like crap since I'm such a cow) and then we're going to dinner. Busy, busy! I'll probably melt before then.

K - must scoot so I can scat and get myself together. Oh, that reminds me of a book I had when I was a kid called: Scat, Scat, Go Away Little Cat! Hmm...

2 More Weird Ones For The Books

Man did I have some doozies last night.

First I dreamt that I was here at home and I heard this banging at the front door. When I look out the window I see a huge grizzly bear in a mad temper, pounding on the door. I knew it was only a matter of time before he smashed the glass so I grabbed the dogs and ran for the car. I got in, opened the garage just as the grizzly entered the house and started calling 911. I also started blaring my horn to try and draw the bear out of my house cause I knew he would destroy it but this brought my neighbors out. So, I'm on the phone with 911 and yelling at my neighbors to get their asses back inside - THERE'S A GRIZZLY ON THE LOOSE. Then I woke up.

In my next dream, Jim and I were on the beach somewhere and we were walking along, chit chatting. Next thing I know, we're in this secluded area - kind of a lagoon. Right by the water there were a bunch of people having a cookout/bonfire. It was dusk. For some reason, I lose sight of Jim and realize that he's in the water so I go to the edge and yell to him - trying to find out what he's doing. His response was, "I think she drowned!" And then I notice all this stuff floating in the water: a woman's wallet, an empty pack of Orbit gum, a makeup case. So I wade in to help and I say to Jim, "How long has she been gone?" (I have no idea who I was talking about). Jim says, "All day" and suddenly, something brushes against my leg, I reach down and feel hair and I pull up a body. However, there's a pulse! Someone calls 911. I pull the woman up on the dock and just try and keep her warm but I realize that she is warm. And her pulse is really strong. And I realize she had faked the whole thing.

I didn't sleep well at all last night. After these dreams, I kept having weird snippets of other dreams. I know Marilyn Manson was in one dream. I also remember that I was at school, on the first day back and for some reason, past students who I had wished I would never see again were back. That sucked! I remember an ice storm and watching all these other drivers wreck as they tried to maneuver up this huge hill. I also remember going to school and having to take the bus with all the kids. Nightmares!

Going to do more work today. I nearly have 7 chapters totally complete: PowerPoints with section questions, chapter tests, cloze passages! I'm so on top of it!

Having lunch with Terri and Laci tomorrow and then dinner with Anne after she and I try on our bridesmaid dresses for Maggie. I'll take pictures.

I'm sure I'll be posting at you later.

Susan Dreams

So last night I had a dream that Susan (my sister-in-law) and Trip had a baby. A girl. And they named her Misty. Misty!!!

In my dream, I was meeting the baby for the first time when we were all (the family) about to go to the Playhouse and then out to eat. It must have been Christmastime and we were going to see Cullen in the Christmas Carol. For some reason, Susan decided to bring the baby to the play and I was so worried because I thought that she would cry and disrupt the production but I was afraid to say anything. Anyway, Jim and I went to pick up Trip and Susan and I walked in and saw the baby and she was so cute. For some reason, I couldn't remember the baby's name and I said, "What did you name her?"

Susan answers, "Misty," and then quickly looks at me to get my reaction. My eyes got real big and then I remembered to smile. Susan goes, "You hate it!"

I tried to cover up but, really, MISTY?! So I said, "What's her middle name?"

Susan goes, "Don't laugh...Michael."

I start nodding and say, "Misty Michael Arbaugh. It's pretty." Then I turn to Jim, widen my eyes and make a crazy face."

Susan, please don't name a baby you may have Misty cause I'll have to call her something else.

Jim Update

Jim's gotten half his list complete.

It's too hot to do anything outside so we're going to go see...

HARRY POTTER!!! YEAH.

Here's Jim dancing for me (I think he had just gotten finished shaving his ass!)

Sami - The Crazy Shit-House Rat!!!

Sami is a whack-job!

Picture it: I'm sitting at my dining room table, making a list (titled Jim's Jobs-I'll get to that in a minute), Jim is sitting in the chair in the corner of the living room reading the paper with Bubba sacked out on his right, Zeke is sitting next to me and Sami is all alone on the couch. In other words, everyone is minding their own business and not even looking at Sami much less going near the dog food dish. What is Sami doing, she's looking off toward the dog food - nowhere near any other animal, growling and barking. (Maybe we have dog ghosts that only Sami can see.)Then, Bubba gets up to go sit on the cool tile (we just got back from our walk) and Sami jumps up and runs to the dog food bowls and growls. Then she runs into the dining room nowhere Zeke is scratching his balls and she barks in his ear and runs back to the dog dish. Crazy! As a shit-house rat (when I googled "Shit house rat - that was the picture that came up!)

So Jim's Jobs:

Vacuum downstairs

Wet swifter kitchen

Mow backyard

Draw your wife a bath

Find heavy, destructive, shovel

Kill moles that have taken over front yard with said shovel

Put laundry away

Shave ass

Mow front lawn

Hose off front porch

Dance for your wife

Get coffee mugs out of garage

Fix my toilet (that you screwed up!)

Poor Jim!

Screwed Again At Immaculata's Festival

So Jim and I went to the annual Immaculata festival in Mt. Adams last night with Terri. And, Jim and I lost our annual asses too! Blackjack is my nemesis. I was actually nearly even at 11:45 last night but decided to go "all in" for the sake of the church. It must've been all that draft beer. It f&%ks with my head.

So, we got there around 7ish, sat outside, talked for a while, had a couple of beers and Jim and I ate our dinner (a burnt cheeseburger for me and a goetta sausage for Jimmy). I ended up seeing two girls that I graduated high school with too. I'm always surprised when people recognize me - I think I have a forgettable face. Anyway, Jim was all antsy to go start losing, I mean gambling so we headed inside, found a table, sat down cashed bills in for chips and we were on our way. Unfortunately, we had chosen a Texas Hold 'Em table that none of us knew how to play. Jim folded immediately. The dealer was very kind, however, and walked Terri and I through what we were doing. I was dealt an ace and queen of hearts. The dealer dealt himself 3 hearts (I had a flush). I originally bet $2. A few people called that or checked or whatever and then the last guy goes "all in" ($11). Everyone folded except for me. I called, flipped my cards and everyone cheered because my hand was apparently unbeatable and suddenly I was $18 richer! Terri and I cracked up, and I apologized profusely to the guy across the table as I collected my winnings and went to a Blackjack table (where I proceeded to lose all my money over the next 3 hours). Ah well. I do feel bad for our dealer. At one point I said, "Hey dealer, what's your name?" He goes, "Bill" and I said, "Bill, you suck!" Not everyone at our table thought that was funny (effin holy rollers - can't take a joke - while they gamble and drink!)

K - gonna go make breakfast and hang with my pups today. Probably do some work since it's nasty out (cloudy and hotter than Hades).

Ooh, and Terri and I are gonna start a new business on the Internet selling Indulgences - $5 a pop. You know, like the church was doing in the 1500s with Pope Leo X (I just did this chapter for my World History class) selling people their spots in heaven. The more indulgences you have, the better your chances of getting into heaven - no matter how evil you were. I'd even do, say 1 for $5 or 5 for $20! [Do you know, last night, one of the dealers (the wife of our dealer) who is a catholic school teacher, didn't even know what an Indulgence was? How ridiculous is that?] I do believe, I may end up in hell or at least purgatory. I better put myself down for about 10 indulgences.

K - later.

Rosie O In My Dreams

So I had a dream last night that I was having a huge party and Rosie O'Donnell and her 4 kids were coming. It was so weird.

I was preparing for the party - which I was having at my parents house - and getting bedrooms ready because I knew that Rosie would be staying the night. I had changed all the sheets and suddenly I go in one room, just to check that every thing's in order and there's Rosie, taking all my clean sheets off. I asked her what she was doing and she says, "When you have people over, you should put clean sheets on." I told her that they were clean. That I had just put them on. I guess she was confused because they were all from different sets. See, I had about 4 different sets of sheets that I had just mixed up so I had maroon pillowcases with yellow top sheets and blue fitted sheets. It was weird.

Then, I asked her if it would be okay to have the kids grouped together and she says, that no, they all needed their own room - otherwise they'd talk to each other and never go to sleep. Well, Raeburn has 5 bedrooms and if I gave all the kids their own room and Rosie and her wife a room, then Maggie, Trip and I would be out a room (Dad and Becky were out of town). So I grouped the kids together anyway and ended up putting two of her kids on a table in the hallway. She was pissed.

Then I woke up because I started worrying about taking Bubba to Raeburn today. I'm afraid he'll overheat and get sick. Jim says I'm being a moron - which I am. I can always put him in A/C and he'll sack out.

So, Jim's going to get a haircut here in a bit. I'm going to get lunch ready to take for everyone and walk the dogs, shower and we should be outta here around 11.

Later.

Memory in Death by J.D. Robb

So I finished The Breakdown Lane by Jacquelyn Mitchard. Good book. 3 1/2 out of 5 stars. (I've changed my rating system to have 5 stars because 4 stars just weren't enough.) It had a happy ending, even if the character still had MS (incurable - duh) and left me feeling like I would want my mom to read it.

So I'm onto another J.D. Robb: Memory in Death. I need a quick, easy read because I'm going to be doing school work for the next couple of days as well as going to the pool and so I need something that won't take up too much of my attention; something easy to pick up and put down without having to re-read something from the last sitting.

This, the 22nd in the series explores Eve's past a little more when her former and cruel foster-mother shows up and bribes Eve and her husband Roarke for $2 million to keep quiet about Eve's past. Roarke tosses the woman out on her ear and the next day she is found murdered. Mystery ensues! Should be a goody.

K - must go walk dogs! They're getting antsy and I don't think Bubba has gone out today (even though the door is open - he's a lazy ass) and I think he's got a turtle-head poking out! Hee hee! He's "touching fur"!

NC-17

So, apparently my blog is considered:

I went to this site to rate my blog (you just type in your address). Apparently the fact that "ass" is said about 7 times, "scat" 5 times, "pissed" - 3, "hell" - 2 and "breast" - 1 (having to do with chicken by the way) these words mean I'm too risque for children under 17 to handle. Even if they read this with an adult! I wonder if the person who puts the "rules" in place for the rating system has stepped foot in a high school lately. Or even a junior high for that matter. Because I can tell you that students under 17 are using worse words than "scat" or "pissed" to express themselves. Who knew I was in the category of nearly pornographic!

I should change the name of my blog from "Muir's Happenings" to:
Muir's Wraunchy Writings or
Muir's Messed-up Musings or
Muir's Titillating Testimony
Muir's Sick Scripture
Muir's Putrid Ponderings

I could go on and on.

T-Minus...Oh, I Can't Say It!!!

I don't even want to write down how many days until school starts but lets just say, 3 weeks from now, I'll be gearing up to go up and get ready for bed!!! F%&k!!!

Oh that note, lets talk alcohol! I have a new favorite beer: Chill by Miller Lite. It is a great, summer, refreshing beverage! It's a delicious with a hint of salt and lime. Now, my question is: Why did it take so long for a company to make and market this? For how long have people been putting a lime in their beer? Genius! I should have thought of that and become a millionaire.

On that note, here are some ideas that I may get rich from:
Beer with pretzels floating in it.
Beer with peanuts floating in it.
Ice Cream with chunks of ice cream cones in it.
Wine with hunks of cheese!
Wine with fruit floating in it - a variety (I bet they do this already)
Orange Juice flavored ginger ale (my favorite concoction)
Hot dogs stuffed with Skyline!!!

(I'll keep thinking of stuff and add more later)

So, Mom is coming to town tomorrow - mainly to bring Madison home but she'll stay with me for the night. I don't know what time she'll arrive though. I do need to go to Costco. Maybe I'll go in the morning before she gets here. I wish she could stay longer.

Saturday, Jim and I will be taking Bubba to meet his cousin Molly at Raeburn where Trip and Susan will also be. It is supposed to be in the upper 90s so the pool should feel quite refreshing. I'm sure Bubba will spend most of the day inside since he overheats so easily but at least he'll get to play and burn some extra calories. (Bubba just told me to add to the list - Chewies flavored with anything but specifically: cheese, ice cream and bacon...Um, Bubba, they already have flavored chewies - he's so silly!)

Saturday night, Jim and I will be going to our annual Immaculata festival in Mt. Adams with Terri. We will be gambling, drinking beer and probably sweating our asses off in the freaking hell hole that is the non-air conditioned rectory! Oh, but I do what I can for the church! It's all about the church.

K - later.

Origin in Death by J.D. Robb and The Breakdown Lane by Jacquelyn Mitchard

So, I'm on book #2 since HP, which I can't discuss yet because Maggie hasn't quite finished. I know you're waiting with bated breath.


So right after Harry, I read J.D. Robb's Origin in Death. This was the 21st in the Death series staring the recurring characters of Eve Dallas and her husband Roarke. Set in 2059, this particular book explored the issue of cloning and the ramifications the world may have to deal with if/when this ever becomes perfected. I give this book 3 out of 4 stars. I do love the Death books. They are entertaining, funny and good whodunit suspense novels.

Monday I started The Breakdown Lane by Jacquelyn Mitchard. This novel is about a woman in her mid-40s who after 20-some years of marriage and 3 kids, her husband decides he "is going to die" someday and needs to live life. So he takes a "sabbatical" from their marriage, kids, and lives. In the process, she starts having weird neurological symptoms and is eventually diagnosed with MS. I'm half-way through but so far it is really good. Part of the book is written from her point of view and the other half is written in her 15-year old's POV. Having this disease would truly suck!


K - more later.