I Know This Isn't Right But...

Ok, so, I've talked a little about the kids in my room this year and the fact that a handful of them have multiple issues (this may be the reason they are considered multi-handicapped - duh). Anyway, one of our kids, we'll call him Spanky, is a runner. Meaning, he gets pissed because he doesn't get his way and he takes off. Now, he also has Downs Syndrome and Autism so, this is something he can't help. It's just his way and though it is frustrating, you can't hold a grudge against him and get mad because, well, two minutes after you "catch" him, and he goes where he's supposed to, he forgets all about his anger and running and he's sweet and loving again. UGH!!!

So recently, Spanky has stopped running so to speak. What I mean by this is, he doesn't run very far. He runs right out our door, takes a right and then another quick right and ends up in the boys bathroom...where, he proceeds to have a dandy time. What do I mean by this? Well, he's a boy and he's 17ish. And he's learned that fun can be had without headphones or a computer or even another person. All he needs are his "pribates" and his hand. So, how do we know this? Well, the teacher across the hall from our room, walked in on him. Hilarious!!! I find this rather funny. Bad and wrong and I'm trying my hardest to keep the picture out of my mind but still, funny.

So, Ms. Z, the new MH teacher that we are sharing a room with this year has a program on her computer called "Boardmaker". This is needed because Spanky is VERY visual (and hands-on...aw, Muir, that's disgusting). The program provides pictures to go with words so that if Ms. Z needs to write out directions for Spanky to use, she can set pictures above them and he is better able to understand what is being asked of him. Well, when the whole "self-pleasure" thing came up, she looked to see if Boardmaker provided anything to assist in helping Spanky understand the inappropriateness of doing this at school. Low and behold, it did. I nearly pooped my pants when I saw the pictures and I knew that I had to share. They may be considered a little inappropriate but they are cartoons and funny so I don't freaking care.

Try and guess the word that goes with the picture.

Enjoy.

Is This Wrong?

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The title of this post is in honor of the little girl at school - we'll call her Dolly - who is so much fun to watch and interact with. Dolly is pretty much non-verbal but boy can she LAUGH!!! Everyday during lunch, I sit at my desk with my colleagues on either side of me at their desks and I await the ringing of the bell which tells me that lunch is over. Everyday I am warned about the imminent bell ringing by Dolly's sweet little WHEEEEEEEEEE in the hallway outside my door (she comes back early from lunch so she doesn't get run over by the big kids). Dolly gets a kick out of everything and expresses her complete enjoyment of watching others be silly by flipping her head back and laughing (and spitting) with utter abandonment. I don't know what is ahead for Dolly and what she will be able to do in the future but she and her teachers are sure enjoying the ride along the way. Next year is going to be so quiet and boring without her in our room.

So, it's finally Saturday and I look forward to an uneventful day. Grocery, library, walk, clean house and then Maggie has invited me to a wine tasting at her friend Lynn's house. I wasn't sure before about whether or not I wanted to go but Jim's brother is in town and if I go to the wine tasting, then Jim can go hang with Fritz (he would have a better time without me and I would have a better time without Fritz.) Don't get me wrong, Jim's brother is certainly a nice man but we have nothing in common and he is such a old woman. Now, don't misunderstand me; Fritz being gay is not the issue. It's the fact that whenever we get together, we're 45 minutes late doing anything. He takes longer than any woman I know to get ready, with no consideration of those waiting for him. I also have a hard time dealing and putting up with his dramatics and every time he comes to town Jim gets stressed and bitches about the same things I've written here.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I hate people who are late. I know "hate" is a strong word but it fits. If you prefer however, insert, abhor, detest, loathe. People who are late are selfish, egotistical effs. And the worse thing about Fritz is that he just doesn't give a shit. He's late and doesn't apologize. As if those people waiting for him have nothing better to do or our time just doesn't matter. Jim was the same way when we met but he has improved immensely - mainly because we would be divorced if he hadn't.

They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. This was certainly true of Jim and I. The fight we had most often? Jim being late. Not to say that I was perfect (I know, shocking right?) but I'm just saying that the majority of our arguments came from Jim being late. And he comes by it honestly. His whole family (well, I don't know about Rob) is chronically late!!! And Jim, he is a dumbass when it comes to being late. See, he will be late and know that I'm going to be mad but instead of trying to head off the problem by calling me with an update of where he is or when he expects to be home, he'll avoid me. He won't call. And, he won't answer my call. So, when he gets home, the issue of him being late has turned into a much bigger issue than it needed to be. This hasn't happened in a long time.

Well, I have gone off on a tangent and need to go blow my nose (my allergies are still killing me), and make my menu for the week and make a grocery list.

Later

Pink Pants

So, I'm wearing pink pants today. I never thought I'd own pink pants. Granted, they are pale pink pants - not hot pink pants - and they may be mistaken for khaki but still, they are pink pants. For someone who is so self-conscious about herself, you would think she wouldn't wear pants that are a questionable color but alas, I like to take a risk. Actually, no, that wouldn't be true. I bought them because they were on sale. I got them at J.Crew for, I think, $9.99. So, now, I'm wearing cheap, pale pink pants. And, I'm pretty sure they aren't flattering to my fat, cottage-cheese ass. Well, I can't see my ass most of the time so, I apologize ahead of time to those poor people parading behind me today peering at my pale pink pants. Poor pedestrians!

I Think I'm Still Drunk

UGH!!! Tequila is my nemesis. Why, oh why did I drink tequila?

(Please ignore any outrageous statements or mispellings because I think I may still be just a little drunk from last night.)

Last night was the "reception", or shall we say celebration of my friend Joe finally getting hitched. Joe and Robyn got married down in the Dominican Republic in July. They only invited close friends and family (guess I'm not a close friend) and then had a party here in Cincinnati to include those that didn't share in the wedding. It was a very casual celebration, held at Joe's parents awesome house in Madeira,(most guests attire included shorts and Teva's) with plenty of horseshoes, cornhole, food, beer, wine, and tequila, courtesy Joe's older brother Eddie. The party started at 3 and I had expected to leave around 8ish, after dinner. Unfortunately, I had a really good time and stayed until near midnight. Yes, you counted right, that would be 9 hours of drinking.

I tend to be a responsible drinker. Mainly because I learned from my many drunken mistakes when I was younger. So, I usually alternate my drinks with water and I certainly don't do shots. When I saw Eddie coming at me with a gigantic frosted bottle of Petron Silver, I told him to go away. He did. An hour later, however, the bottle wasn't empty and for some reason (I seemed to remember watching myself from above, like an out of body experience) I put shot glass to mouth, tipped my head back and drank. Gotta say, damn smooth teaquila though. I guess if you're going to go, you might as well go happy and with a shot of tequila swimming around in your belly.

Actually, I was fine but that put me over the line of tipsy and sort of drunk. See, though I am repsonsible and I don't tend to drink until I'm incoherent or falling, I do mix my alcohol, which is bad in terms of hangover. I didn't used to be this way. I never used to get these hangovers. Dammit! Another thing that age has done to me: I can't drink tons of different liquors and not feel the effects the next day! Son of a bitch.

So I started with wine, then went to beer, had a couple cups of coffee with shots of Grand Marnier and then the tequila. My head is foggy, pounding and it sort of feels like my brain is sort of bobbing around in my head bumping up against my skull. My eyes are swollen and red and burning and my mouth feels like I've been chewing on cotton balls all night.

Note to self: Self, NO MORE TEQUILA!!!

Gotta go back to bed.

It's Been A Tough Week

All I have to say is thank god I'm not an alcoholic. Why, you ask? Because, if I were, I would have fallen off the wagon after this past week at work. Ugh!

I really don't know why I'm stressed either because the same shit that comes up every year in regard to special ed has come up once again. "Let's get rid of all self-contained classes." Great idea! I mean, Great idea, dumbass.

Here's a good idea: Let's put kids who have literally no ability to write or read at much more than a 3rd grade level in a classroom with other students who are preparing for college. Let's have them sit in a classroom and be lectured to while their "peers" take notes and participate in discussions about "Fahrenheit 451" or "Old Man and the Sea" or the unfair treatment of southerners during the Reconstruction, or Eukaryotic cells. Let's have a student who will never, never, never go to college sit in a classroom that will teach them nothing that is worthwhile to them. Let's waste a student's time/life with unimportant crap while they could be learning how to support themselves in the future by cooking or budgeting or simply keeping a job.

Why? Why? Why? Is it because you think that these kids need to be exposed to the same things that "regular" kids are exposed to? And why is that by the way? Do you think my student who has an I.Q. of 40 is ever going to go to college? Do you think that exposing them to something YOU feel is important means you are doing them some service? How dare you!!! How dare you think that just because a student has a low I.Q. they don't deserve some opportunity to learn something worthwhile. Not everything that is College effing Prep is "worthwhile" to everyone. How about a continuum of services? Providing a variety of options for the HELLO variety of kids within the school - dumbF&%K!

And by the way, if your wondering, here is what is worthwhile to my kids: Learning how to fill out an application; learning how to cook without hurting themselves and/or burning their food or house down; learning how to do laundry or keep a clean house; learning how to care for others (like the kids they'll have in the future because, yes, they are going to reproduce); learning how to get to the job they have by public transportation because most of these kids should never be allowed to get a driver's license; learning that it's disgusting to wipe your nose on your sleeve or hand or to even pick your nose and then shake someone's hand; learning how to count money and knowing that the clerk at UDF just rip them off because it's obvious they are slightly challenged; There are so many other things, I could go on forever.

I teach Social Studies to a group of 10 kids who have low, low, low I.Q.'s. There are a few of them that could probably survive in the regular ed classroom with modifications but they wouldn't like it. They would be bored. They would sit there and not know what the eff was being said. And, they would be ignored. What is the regular educators mentality in regards to student who is just put into their room for "exposure"? Give them an A. Why? Because most of the teachers don't get how to differentiate instruction (mix it up so all students get it, not just the "regular" ones). And, they don't want to be bothered.

The kids in our classrooms get to participate and be a part of a classroom and have fun while actually learning something. But, hey, let's stick them into a classroom with a bunch of other kids who are ultimately going to make fun of them because let's face it, kids are cruel. Ultimately, it isn't about what's good for the kid or what the parent wants or what the team feels is best for the student. It's about what looks good for the district and what the newest "fad" is. Whatever. This is why I keep playing the lottery.

I'm Feeling Much Better Now

After coming home from school early yesterday and laying on the couch with my sweeties (I'm not a ho, I'm talking about my pups), I feel much better. My nose is still clogged and raw but I have been relieved of the achiness that I hoped wasn't the flu. Apparently there are many kids at school with it and it is the one illness that sets me into a tailspin. I don't get the flu often but when I do, boy is it a doozy. Last time I had it, I was laid up in bed for 5 full days (not to mention the days after that I was still feeling run down). I also had a fever all that time of over 102. AND... I lost taste for about a month which totally sucked. Again, I would like to thank the baby jesus for this small miracle of curing what ailed me (sort of. Like I said, my nose is still a clogged mess.) Jesus could do better. Is that wrong? Hee.

Anyway, must go up and finish getting ready for school.

Later.

I'm In Hell

My allergies have filled my head with snot and I can't stop sneezing. Actually, I take that back. The only time I stop sneezing is at work, which I am grateful for but am afraid I will have to spend the next several weeks sleeping there because I'M IN HELL!

I would like to take this time to thank the baby Jesus for inventing Puffs Plus. Without the lubricating softness that has become my security blanket, I would no longer have a nose. If you haven't tried them, I urge you to do so during times of excessive tissue use. They are strong. So strong that when you blow your nose, so hard as to resemble a trumpet sounding, the tissue holds so that your fingers do not suffer a slimy mess. So, let us all bow our heads and have a moment of silence for that huge miracle called PUFFS PLUS!!! Thank you Jesus!

Crazy Dreams Last Night

So I was walking my 2 miles today with my MP3 Player and bee boppin along when I suddenly recalled a dream from last night. Here it is:

So, I was in someone's house and I had been watching some baby who was about 1 1/2. I'm pretty sure it wasn't my kid. My sisters were there as well and we had been hanging out when the kid comes toddling in with writing all over his body. I mean, he had things written all over his arms and legs and face and little yellow jumper he was wearing. So seeing this, I started laughing. I mean in my dream it was really funny. Pretty much, I was hysterical.

The weird thing was the stuff written all over the kid: Geometry theorems. Like when you're proving whether or not two triangles are equal: SAS (side-angle-side), SSS (side-side-side) and there were trigonometry rules and formulas on him as well like the formulas for sine, cosine and tangent. It was so weird. Well, my sisters got really pissed I guess because they thought I had been using the baby as scrap paper to figure out math problems. So, they made me take him upstairs to wash him off. So I'm at the sink in this gigantic bathroom and Maggie and Anne are in there bitching at me when my husband (who isn't Jim - well, it was Jim but not his body) comes in, sees the baby and starts laughing just as hard as I had. Well, I was so happy that someone thought it was as funny as I that I started crying and my husband (who wasn't Jim), comes over and just takes me in his arms and starts hugging me. And I remember thinking, "wow, my husband is really hot." He was really tall with dark, dark hair and these piercing blue eyes with really broad shoulders and a narrow waist. I kept looking up at him with awe and then hugging him harder. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my husband (Jim), but this guy was H-O-T- hot!

Sometimes I just dream weird dreams. Hmm.

Sorry Boys...

...but this make me laugh.
Thought for Today: "Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him 'forever' when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks." — Helen Rowland, American writer, journalist and humorist (1876-1950).

Hee Hee.

Alright, must go walk, shop, clean and all before noon so I can enjoy the day (I slept until 8!!!)

Later!

TGIFF

For those of you without a filthy mouth, that means, thank god it's F&%ING Friday. As the year progresses, school year that is, I'll be changing that to TGIGDMFF - figure it out for yourself. Hell, use your imagination. Make a change.

On an aside, I have fallen into a crazy habit recently of accidentally typing "youse" when I'm meaning "use". Weird.

So, it is the end of the 3rd week of school and things are actually getting better and better everyday. I had IEP's today (only two) and only have one more this fall. I lucked out because I only have 5 freshmen this year on my caseload and 2 of their IEP's were written in Spring. HA!!! Suckers! Really I'm just talking about Joyce. She has 13 freshmen. I've been there, done that and am glad I'm not there right now. I know she's in hell. Which, in truth, means the rest of us are in hell because she is totally unorganized which affects us and when she doesn't know what she's doing, which is all the time, and so she asks everyone a million and a half questions which is annoying at this point I just want to say "Lady, figure it out for yourself and if you can't, then maybe you shouldn't be trying to teach special ed kids."

Problem: Ok - here is a major problem that has come to light at school. Here's some background information: The room I have my desk in is shared by me, Lisa and Angie. It is also a teaching room 7 periods per day, four of which include 2 classes at once. Problem: There are two kids who are in diapers. The one we don't have a problem with (anymore after the first day) but the other doesn't come from the greatest home and has some piss poor hygiene (pun intended). For the past two days, this kid, we'll call him Smelly, has smelled like POO!!! Which means our room smells like poo. Now, in my opinion, his teacher - that would be Angie, needs to doo doo something about it. Last year, when he was having stinky issues, they would take him to the showers in the boys locker room. I think this needs to start back up. If it doesn't, I'm going to stick cotton balls up my nose and then pinch it shut with a clothes pin. I mean dude, quick pooping in your pants. I get that you need to wear depends because the medication you're on causes you to dribble at times but why are you pooing? And if you must soil yourself, can't you go change it and ...ugh! I can't think about it anymore.

I'm starved! Jim better get home soon.

I know, that's disgusting after hearing all about Smelly's poo and stinky problems but I can't help it. My stomach's growling!

Ok, gotta go make dinner.

Good Christ! People Just Get Scumier and Scumier

Yes, it is 5:30 right now and I'm obviously not going to do my hair today. 1.) Too tired 2.) Just saw the news and am appalled by the scumbags that roam our streets so I had to post.

So, why am I irritated and flabbergasted? Donna Trevino, the biological (I hate to say) mother of Marcus Fiesel filed a 5 million dollar lawsuit yesterday. This upsets me to no end because I know the money hungry scum-sucking bitch will win since her son did die at the hands of supposed "foster parents". However, this woman deserves NOT ONE PENNY!!! She's only lucky that Marcus didn't die in her own care when he crawled out of a window (on the second floor of her "home) earlier this year or walked into traffic - on her watch.

My idea? She' going to win, there isn't a doubt. No jury is going to hear her case and rule against a mother (no matter that Marcus's room in her own home had feces on the wall - DRIED feces) who has lost a child in custody. But, the money she gets should go to abused children of piss-poor parents! This bitch should give back to the society that she has done her part to mar. And, she should take a few dollars to get herself "spayed". And maybe a few extra dollars to clean her boyfriend up (did you get a load of him in the paper Sunday?) I wish there were some way of charging her with something (wreckless endangerment of a child)? I know, I know. I'm wasting my breath. Oh well. I guess we all just have to live with the people in this world that ruin it for others. Ugh!

Quite the Uneventful Weekend

Ain't that the truth! Well, that's alright because I needed uneventful and boring. For me, the weekend has been pretty good. I wish that we had had one day of sun (still awaiting to see what today will be like but it doesn't look promising) in which to get back some of my color before fall really sets in but I'm not really complaining because this is my favorite time of year.

Why do I love the fall (I know its technically still summer)? I love the coolness of the nights with the open windows and the fact that I don't have to turn the AC on but the heat isn't needed yet either. I love the smell in the air - that crisp, clean scent that means football and chili and cuddling up on the couch with my sweeties (dogs and Jim included) wearing sweatpants and warm socks. I do not like the leaves that fall from the trees that Jim and I have to clean up (we have 15 large trees just in our front yard; there used to be 21 but we chopped 6 down) but while they are still on the trees they certainly are beautiful. I also love what the fall leads to: Thanksgiving! My favorite holiday! Yum. I'm excited just thinking about all the deliciousness. Anyway, one other reason I love fall is because I can make all my favorite dishes again. Yes, that's right! There are certain meals that I only make in the fall and winter. Why, you ask? Well, who wants to eat stew or soup in summer? Or meatloaf and mashed potatoes? So I'm very excited about my meatloaf and beef stroganoff and Brunswick stew and chili etc. I can't wait to break the slow cooker back out!

So yesterday, we (Maggie, Jim, Trip, Susan and I) were supposed to all go the Raeburn to hang out in the sun and relax. Well, because the weather sucked, we ended up not going (we're going today) and instead, Maggie came over and we hung out on the deck and played cards. I sent Jim out to look for lounge chairs on sale (2 of them). Poor guy was gone for about 3 hours. However, the sweet fellow delivered. You can see them below. They are quite comfortable and stylish. Now, why did I have Jim go out and buy outdoor furniture when summer has basically ended? The reason is two-fold: 1. I'm poor and the prices during peak season would not be possible for me to pay and 2. I would rather sit on the deck at this time of year, reading after school etc. than doing so in the middle of summer. Unless I'm by a pool or attempting to catch some rays, I don't want to lounge in 95 degree heat.

Also, my pepper plants have gone off the deep end. The have suddenly decided to sprout peppers. Especially my purple pepper plants. I don't know what's going on but with the coolness of the nights, they aren't going to last for long. Check it out though, have you ever seen such a pepper?

Ok, gotta go walk my sweeties (alone since Jim left at about 6 to get some painting done.) Goal for the day: 2 miles walking, arm exercises and abs.

Thought for the Day

"It is awfully important to know what is and what is not your business." -- Gertrude Stein, American author (1874-1946).

I would like to send this quote out to one of my colleagues at school (Not you Lisa. Or you, Kim and Diane. Or you Jill and Joyce. Nor you Angie. Oh, and not you Erin) I believe that the most important reason that one should know what is and is not your business is to avoid getting popped in the mouth. If I could tactfully tell someone to back off and get the f%^k off my back and out of my business I would. Unfortunately, some people are just dense. So, I'm often forced to be a tad rude.

Oh well. I don't care.