I Swear We're Not Crack Heads!

I need to stop watching Intervention (or as I call it - Train Wreck) and Dr. Drew's celebrity rehab!  I dreamt last night that Jim and I were delving into the drug world.  For some reason, we happened to have a big old bottle of pills (some kind of narcotic, not sure what) and some crack.  I say "for some reason" because in my dream, we had found it or something and rather than throw it away, we decided to try it out.  Well, I, of course wasn't into the drugs after one experiment but Jim liked them.  I ended up having to hide the crack cause he was constantly trying to smoke it.  I kept trying to push the pills on him instead but he kept saying, "Just one more hit off the pipe!?  Come on!?"  Weird.

In Zekey news:  He's lost his ever-lasting mind!  Last night was quite the bedtime adventure/drama.  Every thing started out well.  We all went upstairs, crawled into assigned beds (Jim and I in ours, Zeke in a dog pillow, Bubba in a dog pillow, Sami in our bed and then in the guest bed).  I fell asleep as did Jim around 8:30 (yes, I'm that much of a loser).  Around 10:00 Zeke woke up and decided he needed to go out.  Jim took him.  Jim came back with him.  Everyone went to their assigned beds and, lights out, lets go back to sleep.  Zeke had other plans.  First he didn't like his dog bed so went to Jim's side of the bed and laid down.  I guess he couldn't get comfortable so he barked.  Jim ignored him and so Zeke came to my side of the bed and barked.  I thought - hmm - maybe he wants to sleep near me.  So, I went downstairs, got another dog pillow to put right by my side of the bed and Zeke got in.  I covered him up, lights out, now lets go to sleep.  Um...nope.  Zeke wasn't into that either.  So, I said, "Jim, I think he has to go out again."  Jim gets up, takes him out, I hear a couple, "Goddamn its" (sorry Diane) and so I go downstairs.  Zeke is outside wandering around and won't come in.  He doesn't seem to have to "go" but is just wandering around.  So I say, "You got this, right Jim?"  (Hee hee) and I go upstairs and climb in bed.  Jim comes up about 15 minutes later with Zeke in tow.  Everyone gets into bed, lights out, now lets go to sleep (it's 11 by this point).  Nope - Zeke isn't feeling it!  He goes to Jim's side again and barks.  We ignore.  He keeps barking.  BAD DOG!!!  In the end, Zekey just wanted in the bed with us, which isn't a good thing because if he decides to get down while we're asleep, OUCH - LEG!  I let him up anyway and decide to just stay awake since I know he'll want down fairly quickly.  He cuddled up with me under the covers, stayed there about a 1/2 hour and decided he'd had enough.  I ended up falling asleep around midnight - after lifting Zekey out of bed, of course.  Dern dog!  He's lucky he's my baby boy and I love him so much.

K - best head out to work.  Not looking good weather wise for the next couple days.  Ice tonight and tomorrow and then RAIN RAIN RAIN, turning to snow - they say - on Wednesday morning.  By the way - I don't do ice.  If there's even a hint tomorrow, guess who won't have her first full work week of the year?  K - Later!

Funny Animals

Damn - they were so hungry they couldn't wait until they got out of the way of traffic?  I feel like that right now!

What the hell?  Who put the mop on this poor llama's head and stuck her falsies in upside down?  How's she supposed to eat?  And face all the other llamas?

A MONKEY STOLE MY BABY!!! (said in the accent of Meryl Streep saying "A dingo stole my baby!")

Teamwork

Leapin' Lizards...I mean dogs!

Somebody milk me already!!!

That's one dumb bird!

These are NOT wise old owls!

Take that you stupid mutt!!!

Is there something in my hair?

This new flower hybrid will be all the rage this spring.

The unsuspecting dog didn't realize he had tried to mess with a black belt!  He found his teeth in the next room!

You talkin' to me!?  Are you TALKIN' to me?!?!

Put the gun away!  I'll tell you where I hid the yarn!

Mental Instability

How freakin' nuts do you have to be to shoot your kids for being "mouthy"?  Talking about that Tampa mother who killed her 13 year old son and 16 year old daughter (apparently while she sat at her computer studying).  I'm nuts but I'm not that nuts! 

So, it's Sunday.  Had a good day yesterday and by good I mean my house finally got cleaned!  It was driving me nuts (not so nuts, however, that I wanted to shoot my sweet babies for shedding).  See, usually, we clean every Saturday but with Zeke being an invalid last week and confined to the family room - I didn't want to traumatize him more than he already was (he HATES!!! the vacuum) so we skipped the big clean for the week.  Needless to say, I was constantly picking up little tumbleweeds all week - UGH!!!  Anyway - Jim started upstairs around 8:00 and I joined him to clean my bathroom.  I then headed to the kitchen to clean and when I'd finished there - I left the rest to Jim so I could head out to get A) a new coffee maker (ours went kaput) B) the movie Hamlet (which 1/2 price didn't have) and C) groceries.  After that somewhat productive outing, I came home and Jim and I headed to Shooters for some drinks and screen touching. Dinner last night was Chicken burgers, broccoli salad and fries - it was deeeelicious. 

Today's plans are:  Breakfast at First Watch.  From there we'll go to the 1/2 Price in Kenwood (I went to the one in Deerfield yesterday) to see if they have the Hamlet movie I'm looking for.  After that - who knows.  I need to figure out what to have for dinner - maybe chicken stir fry wraps and a salad - yum.  Done.  There's no football today so I'll probably just hang at home and work on my knitting and quilting.  I think my finger is healed enough at this point to put a thimble on it.  Thank God.  It hurt for a week.  Throbbed like a motha!!!

K - well - I'm going to head out and get ready for some delicious breakfast!  Can't wait!  Yummy!

No Two-Hour Delay - POOH!

Bummer - I was hoping.  Oh well - it's movie day so no big deal.

Today I woke up and looked in the mirror and though my hair looked fine - my eyebrows had "bed head".  They were all crazy and sticking up and poking this way and that.  Who knew?  Funny enough, my eyebrows can get really long and I have this one hair in the eyebrow over my left eye that's blond.  I usually pluck it because by the time I see it, it's about an inch long...no joke.  Just thought I'd share.

So, did you know that even after death, a body "poots"?  You know, farts.  How bad would it suck to be a mortician then?  Scare the shit out of me, I'll tell you that. 

Parent/Teacher conferences were fine.  No conferences and managed to get some work done although not as much as I was hoping.  I was putting a PowerPoint together for U.S. history on the 60s and the Civil Rights Movement and got all caught up in watching Martin Luther King speak.  I had never watched the WHOLE "I Have A Dream" speech.  Its' like 20 minutes long and really very amazing. 

Okay - so, that's all I've got.  Zeke is doing amazingly well.  He's really walking on his leg now - hope that's okay, not that I could stop him if it wasn't.  He can go down the two steps into the family room but I don't let him go up any of course.  Stitches come out next Thursday.  K - best head out - hopefully the roads aren't slick.  Later!

I Might Be A Number 3!

So, yesterday - we had another Bullying Presentation (and no it's not how to be a bully - I've got that down pat - but rather how to spot a bully and who bullies tend to be).  The guy yesterday was really good - his name is Jim Bisenius.  His presentation broke it down for us by rating kids into numbered categories: 1, 1v, 2 and 3.  One's are those kids who don't bully, aren't bullied and are good, solid citizens.  1v's are the victims of bullying.  Two's are the worst bullies out there - the ones you don't know are bullying - the vindictive, sly bullies who no one sees bullying AND tend to be teacher's "favorites" (which is why they are the worst).  Finally, the three's are swingers so to speak:  Those kids who are the obvious bullies the ones that are easy to pick out and often from low income so that when they are not bullying, they are being bullied.  And three's don't care who sees them because they aren't out to make friends or impress teachers etc.  There was a lot more to it and I would have been interested in seeing the presentation that Jim was doing for parents last night - how to help your bullied child never to be bullied again.  Anyway - I was sitting there listening and trying to decide if I was a 2 or not when it occurred to me that I'M A THREE!!!  I'm a bully (to my kids) and I don't care who sees it because I don't need any friends and I'm not trying to impress you BUT!!!  When I'm not bullying?  Maggie is bullying me!  Maggie is a TWO!  And no one sees it because she's so sly and devilish!  Ooohhh...maybe I'm really just a 1v!  Yep, I'm a victim!  And Maggie is the Devil!!! 

In other news:  I was soooooooo sick last night.  It started at about 5:30 and lasted until I finally passed out in bed around 8:00.  My stomach is just not right.  I couldn't get warm either.  I was lying in bed with rag wool socks on, sweatpants and a t-shirt and sweatshirt with alllllll my covers piled on me and Jim snuggling and I was freezing.  I mean my skin wouldn't get warm.  It was weird.  Anyway - I feel fine now and hope that I don't have any issues today.  I never got to eat last night either so I'm currently famished!  I'll take it light today but we have Parent/Teacher conferences so who knows.  I have lots to work on tonight, however so that'll help me get some stuff done. BTW:  no conferences scheduled so far.

Alright, well, I'm outta here.  Mom and Richard:  Have a great time on your cruise and be safe.  Everyone else:  Suck it - no, I'm kidding, that was my 3 talking!  Have a good day and HAPPY THOMAS CRAPPER DAY!!!

Thank God My Kitchen Isn't A Raceway!

It's Cockroach Race Day!  Ugh!  Thank you baby Jesus (and God) for making me a clean person who doesn't allow these types of antics to go on in my household! 

In school news:  Kim won't be there today which is always tough because she's my right arm in my low language arts and history classes.  She laughs at my jokes, reads to my non-readers, helps to calm Diablo and so much more.  She's my Ed McMahon!  My Andy Richter!  The Lucy to my Desi (or am I the Lucy to HER Desi?  I don't know).  I will miss her today (though she does have a good sub in for her!) Oh, and I should qualify that in the past, Diane was the "paraprofessional" - aide - in my room but this year she was put elsewhere! (I think she secretly requested not to work with me anymore but she covers it up well by acting like she misses me and my classes =)) My point is - when I had Diane with me, she was very much missed when she wasn't there.  You are both very much appreciated!

Okay so that's all the time we have today, folks.  I had to do some unexpected ear clean-up this morning (Bubba's getting goopy again:  Eyes, ears, runny nose.  Time for a lumpectomy and cortisone shot) and ran out of time for blog entertainment.  Sorry.  Mom - I'll call you tonight before you leave!  Later!

Forces Trying To Keep Me Home!

First of all - I can't believe I'm up and headed to work!  It's been so long I hope I don't forget how to get there.  What's my job again?  Second, there have been forces trying to keep me home!  Last night I got so sick!  I felt shitty all night - kept waking up with stomach issues and feeling horrible.  I feel fine now by the way.  And of course I feel guilty for leaving Zeke!  I know he'll be fine - we were able to get him a less cumbersome e-collar to ensure he doesn't lick and nibble on his sutures but I'm still going to worry.  That being said, what do you think my clock radio was playing when my alarm went off this morning?  "Missing You" by John Waite!  WTF!?  I heard Zekey sniffling when I got out of bed.  Actually, he was probably sniffling and shedding happy tears just to have the house to himself again.  Ugh!  I'm a maniac!

So, in other news - there isn't any other.  No real snow in the forecast; the temps should be mostly above freezing during the day and I should actually have a full work week next week - barring any sudden illnesses on my part.  Oh, I do have parent teacher conferences this Thursday which completely sucks!  I don't know if any parents are coming in...lets hope not! 

And...that's it.  Keep your fingers crossed that all goes well with Zeke today and that Jim does everything he's supposed to do before leaving the house.  K - later!

I Finally Got To Take My "Sick Day"!

Unbelievable!  I put in for a sick day and lo and behold - there ISN'T a snow day to cancel it out!  Amazing!  Fantastic!  Shit!  I better be careful!  I only have about 110 sick days left.

So, yeah, sorry I didn't post yesterday.  First, I was busy laying around.  Second, there was nothing exciting on my poop calendar to talk about.  Third I didn't have anything to talk about.  Fourth, I wanted to see if my mom would yell at me (no luck).  Fifth, um, I, uh, ran out of time.  Sixth, I didn't want to disturb Zeke.  Seventh, I may, in fact be lame.

Zekey Zoo news:  Everything is going well.  He's getting a little stir crazy though.  Yesterday we ended up having to let him walk around the living room/dining room area.  He was standing at the gate in the family room barking, demanding a change of scenery.  Who can blame him?  Jim ended up taking a dog pillow and putting it in the corner of the dining room and Zeke slept there for 3 hours.  He's definitely getting more mobile but still has his moments, especially in the mornings.  He's obviously very stiff then and it's also his antsiest time.  He must get up and down, moving from pillow to pillow four hundred times.  If he didn't have his stitches, I wouldn't be such a stickler for him being in the same room with me but alas, I can't allow him to lick.  I don't look forward to tomorrow when he'll be home all day by himself with his e-collar on (I'll worry all day).  Jim will have to take care of that, however, so it will be a little less painful for me since I won't have to be the "bad guy" who puts that obnoxious thing on!  Better safe than sorry. (By the way - this isn't Zeke but it looks like him and this dog is even shaved on the same side that my baby Zeke is.  Oh, and he looks as miserable as Zeke will look when we put the damn thing on.).

Hm...I just had a thought.  Maybe I'll take a little trip the pet store today to see if they have a comfy cone.  It's more comfy for Zeke and less cumbersome.  And, it will be a test to see how he does while I'm gone.  Good idea, Muir!

So today I'll be hanging with my babies.  I'll try to do a little cleaning and quilting and knitting.  Actually though, my quilting is on hold because I can't sew.  I gouged my right middle finger.  Slammed it in the lazy Susan taking a huge hunk out right at the side of my fingernail.  This is the finger I wear my thimble on and so sewing is impossible.  It should be fine in a couple more days but until then, I'll work on my knitting project.  Exciting news, huh?

Speaking of news:  Have I mentioned that Carson Palmer sucks?  Allegedly.  News is that he's demanding to be traded or he'll retire.  If past history is any indication (Chad Ochocinco), demanding a trade only leads to a stauncher and more stubborn Mike Brown and an ass whoopin' in the media.  We'll see what happens.  I say if he's unhappy, good riddance but it shouldn't be that easy to get out of a contract.  I don't think you should be able to stomp your feet and cry like a little baby and get your way.  I know that he had a bad season and he was pummelled in the media (and by fans) and the fault wasn't all his but he knew the franchise that he was signing up with when he signed with the Bengals.  Mike Brown hasn't made a big secret of his refusal to step down as "dictator" for the team.  So, wth!?   Maybe, however, its a good idea to let him walk away and take that nearly $50 million he'd make in the next 3 years and get us a better, younger (more loyal?) quarterback.  And hey, take Jordan with you too!

K - I'm done talking about a topic I don't know that much about.  I'm sure Trip and/or Maggie will keep me in the know.  I'm headed to the couch now to await Zeke's rising - he's still sleeping.  Later!  Oh, and happy Beer Can Day, Belly Laugh Day, Talk Like A Grizzled Prospector Day (whatever the hell that is) and Happy National Compliment Day!  You are sooooooo good lookin'!

-13 Degrees!!!

Holy Shizz!!!  I woke up this morning to -13 degrees!  It's now a balmy -8.  I have to head out this morning to Costco and the grocery (I haven't been out of the house since Thursday) and am little stir crazy but I'm not looking forward to it and I'm sure I'll be happy to get back home.  I can't wait to be done with my errands and be able to cuddle up in front of the fire (which Jim better get going before my toes freeze). 

In Zekey news (are you sick of hearing about him?):  He's doing okay.  He slept well last night and he hasn't really wanted to lick his incision...I dread the e-collar that I will have to put on him eventually.  He hates this cold too but managed to go out and pee.  He didn't want to stay out much longer than that.  He actually touched his toes down today when he got in from peeing.  Normally, he just holds his leg up to walk and stand but while drinking water, he touched his back leg down.  He didn't put any pressure on it but it's a good sign that he did that.  He seems very restless in the morning and I would imagine it's because he's loosening up after a night of immobility and waiting for his pain meds to kick in.  Sometimes he seems to be sad but I think that's probably just me being a worry wart because he's not quite himself. 

Last night was cute and I did see a bit of the sweet Zeke that I'm used to when Jim got home. Normally, Zeke will will hear Jim and run to the front windows where he will bark until he sees him get out of his truck.  He will then run to the family room to await Jim's entrance.  Of course Zeke is restricted to the family room and so can't run around but when he heard Jim last night, he popped up from his pillow and barked once or twice.  I had to hold him back so that he didn't get knocked over in the Sami and Bubba melee but it was good to see him react with excitement and enthusiasm. 

So, other than my errands today - I'll be hanging at home and trying to stay warm.  I think I'll do a nice pot roast tonight - good old warm comfort food.   Nothing much to do beyond that.  K - I'm going to go psyche myself up for the great and f&%king cold outdoors.  Later!

Rough Day Yesterday

I think yesterday was definitely harder on me than Zeke but who's to say since he can't talk to me and tell me that he's in pain though I know he is.  He's been fairly drugged up but every now and then he'll just moan and I know that's his way of sort of crying or whining.  My biggest worry yesterday was him pooping.  I don't know why I was so upset about him not pooping because it's common for people and animals to have issues after a major surgery but he had eaten 4 times and hadn't.  My worry came more from him not being able to because I could tell that he wanted to but his leg is such a burden since he can put no weight on it.  In the end, however, he was able to poop this morning when Jim took him out - he and I were both relieved - well all three of us I think! 

He slept like a champ last night and has walked or limped around quite a bit today trying to find a pillow that makes him happy (there are three dog pillows in the family room and he keeps moving from one to the other).  He only ate about a 1/2 can of dog food today but he's been drinking plenty of water.  He's left his incision alone for the most part - only licking a couple times. I keep him under a blanket and that keeps him from bothering it. 

Sami - by the way - has been quite the little worry wart about Zeke.  A couple times yesterday - Sami was sleeping upstairs and Zeke started coughing (common after a surgery).  Somehow, she heard him and came running downstairs to check on him.  She walked up to him and sniffed him and then licked his mouth.  It was really very sweet.  Then, every time I would take him out yesterday, she would have to come with us and she would follow Zeke as he limped along trying to find a place to do his business.  Every time he stopped, she'd stop and go up to him and sniff and kiss him.  She's been very attentive and concerned.  I think she loves him after all! 

So, once again, we had another snow day today.  That means that I've tried to take 4 sick days in two weeks and every one of them have ended up in a snow day.  It sort of works out well, however, because I may just end up taking Monday off now and since I already have plans ready - I won't have to worry about that.  It all depends on Zeke this weekend. 

Okay well, today will be a day spent inside...the temperature right now is about 7 degrees with a wind chill - last I looked at -5!!!  WTH!!??  I'll start a fire in a bit and get the family room nice and toasty for me and my pups.  Other than that, I'll watch TV - maybe some Netflix movies - and sew and knit.  Maggie's quilt is coming along nicely - this is it at the left, prior to it being basted (layered) and quilted.  It also has a nice trim that I added after taking this picture.  I'll show the finished project when it's complete.  K - I'm out - continue prayers and crossed digits for Zeke.  Later!  Oh, and happy National Hugging Day!  I'll be hugging my babies all day...but that's nothing new...it's National Hugging Day in my house every day!  Later

Home & Resting

We're home.  Zeke is happy to be on his pillow - even though he only made it 1/2 way.  The car ride was tricky - at first Zeke wouldn't lay down but eventually he tired from trying to hold himself up and he collapsed.  Then, of course, backing into the driveway - Jim hit the rock that he idiotically laid there at the corner - MORON!!!  I apologized later for yelling at him explaining that the stress of everything was getting to me, not to mention the fact that he PUT A STUPID ROCK at the corner of the GD DRIVEWAY!!! 

Anyway - as you can see - Zeke has a pretty significant incision.  He'll have the sutures for 2 weeks and is on strict "bed rest" and confinement for at least that long.  Wonder how easy that will be?  When we got home, I took him out back where he peed like a racehorse.  He didn't poop but he did eat nearly a can of dog food so we'll see what he manages to do in a couple hours.  He seems a bit restless and wants to lick his incision and if that keeps up, I'll have to put his e-collar back on. I wish he'd just go to sleep and rest - oh, wait, his eyes are drooping.  Oh, wait, he's sitting back up.  I feel like he wants to move to the other pillow but he can't seem to decide or he just can't seem to want to attempt to get up.  Ugh...I wish I could take his pain away.  Can't wait for 2 weeks from today.  Oh today is going to be tough.  By the way - keep the prayers coming as Zekey recovers. 

Another Snow Day!

I try to take a "sick" day but every time I do, it ends up in a snow day.  We'll see what happens tomorrow.  I think if we get another snow day (on a day I've called in sick) then I must be some sort of jinx!  Currently we have about a quarter inch of snow on the ground...Bubba's pretty happy but is hoping for more.  I keep telling him this is just the beginning of what should be about 6 inches.  He's in dog heaven but he wants his brudder (as Diablo would say) home!

Speaking of Zekey...I'll call the vet around 8:30 to find out when I can come get him.  I'm hoping they'll say, right away.  Jim doesn't have to leave here until around 10 (to remove snow for the day - who knows when he'll get home tonight) so IF Zekey is ready - we'll go together.  I'm hoping that is the case because Jim's a much better driver in the snow.  I'm a bit worried about Zeke and his ability to get around - especially to pee and poo (how will he manage with his leg all bandaged up?!).  I'm hoping the snow isn't too much a pain in the ass for his bandage (I'm sure it can't get wet).   I may just have to wrap it up when we go out.  We'll see what the vet says.

So that's about it.  I'll post some pictures of my poor baby when I get him home and settled.  I'm anxious for this to be over and for his recovery to be well on its way.  Later!

Tossing and Turning

First and foremost:  Everyone pray for Zeke!  Or cross your toes...whatever works!

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.  First because Jim woke me up with his snoring.  I don't know what his deal is recently...maybe I need to set the humidifier over on his side of the bed.  Ugh!  At one point he said, "I'm sorry...I don't hear it."  Me: "Yeah, no shit cause if you did, you wouldn't be able to sleep either!"  After that, I couldn't get back to sleep because I kept thinking about my dogs:  Zeke and his surgery and then Bubba and his lump.  That kept me up for a while.  I've got some pretty good luggage under my eyes this morning.

So, as I've mentioned, today is the day for Zeke.  I talked to him last night and told him that everything would be okay and that if any other dogs at the vets said that I was never coming back or that he would be there forever, not to believe them because they were just trying to get his goat.  He kissed me in understanding.  Originally my plan was - because they have to keep him overnight - to pick him up after school on Thursday and take Friday off to nurse him but I decided that it just isn't fair to leave my baby at the vet for that long and so I'll take tomorrow and Friday off.  Thursday is supposed to be a pretty good snow maker so hopefully, I'll miss having to drive in any of that.  They are saying 3-6 inches...YEAH!!!  Bubba's pretty excited!

K - I need to get off here and write my list of questions/comments for Jim to ask the vet.  He better be a good dad here and not forget to ask/mention anything I tell him to!  He's in trouble already this morning cause he didn't turn on the timer for the coffee last night!  Mama needs her GD coffee!!!  And what do you know!!!  It's Tin Can Day!  Later!

UPDATE:  Zeke is out of surgery and the doctor said everything went well.  I'll call in the morning to see when I can pick him up.  I miss my baby...it's so quiet here.

Wouldn't You Know It!

So you all know that on Wednesday, my baby Zeke gets his surgery.  They will keep him over night and I'll pick him up after school Thursday.  Friday I plan on taking off to stay home and nurse my baby and wouldn't you know that we're supposed to get some accumulating snow on Thursday!?  Now, I'm not sure when it will hit and I'm not sure that the weathermen are sure how much at this point but I heard a few inches.  Would that mean another snow day?  And if so, why is it that every time I go to take a "sick" day, I get a snow day instead?  We'll see.

In poo news:  Did you know that microscopic amounts of blood may be in your stool?  As little as .5mg of hemoglobin/day.  However, what you eat may be a culprit since red meat can make it look as if you are bleeding (animal hemoglobin is detected in stool).  Another culprit?  Horseradish.  (Although it does come from horses, right?)

And what do you know!!!  It's Pooh Day!  Winnie the Pooh, that is.  He has stuffing in his poo.

So that's it.  Today starts the second half of my school year.  I don't teach semester classes so it really doesn't affect me but I do lose/gain a couple students in my study halls.  No biggie.  Other than that - my day will be like any other day - I hope...uneventful.  Cross your fingers that Diablo isn't in a "mood".  Last week I had a day where he banged his head on his desk in a fit because I asked him to do some work.  Ugh! 

Happy Thesaurus Day! Later! Adios! Arrivederci! So long! Cheerio! Bye-bye! Toodle-oo! Godspeed! Adieu! Adios! Hasta la vista! Bon Voyage! Ta ta! Aurevoir! Ciao! Farewell! Sayonara! Auf wiedersehen (or our feet are the same)! Peace out!

Tidbits (or Bidtits as I like to say)

First of all - I've updated my book blog.  Mom - you need to read this book!

Poo calendar update
Squatting vs. Sitting:  "Squatting is actually a more effective and efficient way to expel stool from the body than sitting on a toilet seat.  The act of squatting changes the orientation of a group of muscles.  This creates a "straight shot" for the poo to effortlessly make its way out of the body.  Squatting, also known as the bombardier method, will also give you quads of steel."  Too bad its so cold outside or I'd head out with the pups and squat away with them in the backyard. 

Zeke update:  He's doing well.  Getting around and not seeming to be in too much pain.  I'm feeding him a ton to try and fatten him up before surgery and he seems to be less of a bony boy.  He loves going outside and rolling in the snow so of course I dread when the rain comes today and washes it all away leaving mud mud mud!  Ugh!  I just wish that for the next two months, while Zeke recovers, there was snow so I wouldn't have to worry about him slipping in my backyard and wiping off his feet.  Oh well.

Bubba had a run in with a neighbor dog yesterday.  Jim let him get too close to the invisible fence and Bubba got "attacked".  No skin was broken, there was no blood but the other dog got a hold of poor Bubba's hind area and I think he's majorly bruised.  He screams if you touch him there.  I don't want to blame Jim for this but what the hell!?  Ugh!  And then, last night when Bubba wanted on the bed and I went to lift his rump up, he squealed and Sami thought he was attacking me so she went after him and I stuck my arm in the middle to save him and got bit.  She didn't break skin but left some teeth marks and bruises on my arm.  Why does she do that!!??  Poor Bubba was feelin' right puny after that and climbed in the dog bed with Zeke for comfort.  It was really cute.  Zeke just let him (normally he'll growl and sort of yell at Bubba to "get the hell off") and Bubba laid there with his head on Zekey's butt. 

So today I'll just hang with my babies and sew and catch up on my TV shows.  Nothing special...just a night day off.  I guess I'll get to it...later.

Is He Dead!!! Fabulous!!!

I may be bias and all, I mean, he is my brother but Cullen rocked the play last night.  He had the role of Hans Von Bismarck"Dutchy" in Is He Dead  (on the right...with dad chuckling in the background) and I'm telling you, he was THE comedic role - along with his chums Chicago (in red on the left) and O’Shaughnessy (middle).  His accent was hilarious and spot on.  There were even a couple of times where he had to ad lib because he dropped a prop and he played it off as though it were written in the script..didn't know it was a "drop" until he told us after the play.  Everyone else in the play was great too and the story was hilarious.  I always did like Mark Twain.  Victor did a great job during intermission, playing guitar and singing as well.  Those are two really talented guys...I can't wait to see what they do with their lives and I can't wait to see what roles they land in the TX Spring musical Phantom of the Opera!

Here's Cullen again with the character - Marie.  This actress has been in three plays I've seen at St. X...she's really cute.  Oh, and funny thing - I saw a student from Kings there (Lisa - on your caseload...just got accepted to Columbia...her boyfriend was in the play too!). 

So that's it...last night was a great time and I can't wait for Phantom!  K - time to quilt (Maggie's quilt is basted (layers sandwiched) and ready for hand sewing...that should only take me until Eva is born.  Later!

New Shoes

I went out for boots but found nothing of interest.  I didn't want anything with a heel and everything that was flat came over the knee.  I did however, find the shoes (in black) at left.  Love them.  I've wanted a pair like this for a while and!!!  Normally $115 - they were on sale for $70!  Not bad!  I got another flat pair of slip ons 1/2 off...just something with a back to wear when running around.  K - time for a bath and maybe a nap.  Later!  Oh, and I've got a new book listed in my Recent Reads blog!

I Think Jim May Have Been Punked!!!

So, my husband, for the past - good God - probably 9 years, has had this weird thing with his hand.  It's rough and calloused and scratchy; red and blotchy and I really can't believe that I let him touch me with that hand.  And it's just his right hand, not left.  Weird.  Anyway, he finally decided to make an appointment with a doctor to get it checked out.  Now apparently his appointment was made with a "dermatologist" but I've been to a dermatologist and they never made me get naked.  They never looked at my "junk" nor checked out my arse.  What the hell kind of dermatologist did Jimmy get himself involved with and will I soon be seeing his "appointment" on Youtube?  Yowza.  I'm beginning to think he may have mixed up his doctors and accidentally made an appointment with a gynecologist. 

In the end - Jim, the big giant baby - had two spots on his hand biopsied and will most likely be on that fungus medicine for three months.  He has to go back in a few weeks to get a blood test and I told him FOR SURE!!!  When they ask to see your privates and to turn around and bend over?  Just say NO!!! 

Hee hee - I don't know why Jim tells me these things either!  He knows it'll all end up on my blog!  He's not a smart man!  I think I may have married Forest Gump!

Is He Dead? By Mark Twain

Mornin'! 

Saturday plans:  I need to go to DSW to get some shoes...I need a pair of boots but I also need a pair of black shoes other than the slip-ons and flats that I have for this cold weather.  Hopefully they'll have something like the pair on the left but in black.  Aren't those lovely!?  Anyway, Jim is going to put some hours in this morning and be home around noon.  After that, we're headed to Bacall's around 5 for dinner and then to St. X for Cullen's play!  He's got a pretty big part in it so that's exciting.  The name of the play is Is He Dead by Mark Twain.  Should be fun since Maggie and Charlie, Trip and Susan, and Anne and Madison will be there as well! 

Happy Belated Birthday to Susan by the way!  Her birthday was yesterday!  Hope you had a great day!

So that's about all I've got.  Sorry I'm boring but after this weeks "excitement" that's fine with me.  Later!

Definitely Benign!

The doctor called yesterday and told me that the mass was exactly what he thought it was and it is benign!  Good news, finally! 

I had terrible dreams last night!  In my dream, Jim and I were lying in bed and were awoken by something...a noise.  I asked Jim to check on it.  He got up - I followed him out of the room and saw someone pass in the shadows at the bottom of the steps.  I thought it was a friend of ours (no idea what friend would sneak around our house in the middle of the night) but Jim saw it too and raced back into the bedroom to grab something - at first I didn't see what.  He crept down the stairs without the guy seeing us and pulled back his arms to hit him with the pipe wrench that I finally saw he had grabbed (don't know why we had a pipe wrench in our bedroom).  At that point, I turned my head because I didn't want to see the blow but the sound - the THUNK - was horrible.  Of course the guy went down like a rotten sack of potatoes and I ran downstairs yelling, "Why did you to that to so and so?" (still thinking it was our friend).  Jim told me it wasn't our friend and then proceeded to pull off the old man mask that the guy had been wearing.  It was so scary.  I grabbed the phone and was standing in the kitchen at the sliding glass door calling 911 when from behind me, outside a black man (sorry that sounds racist) in an orange jail jumpsuit stood behind me tapping at the glass with his index finger!  I screamed and woke myself up.  It was terrible.

Okay so today is a work day at school and seriously I have hardly anything to do.  That being the case I'm taking crochet needles and yarn so that Diane can hopefully teach me to crochet!  I have been unable to teach myself in the past but she says it's easier than knitting - which I've heard - but can never figure it out.  So - happy Dress Up Your Pet Day!  My pets wouldn't stand for it but I appreciate those dogs that don't mind.  K - later!

Surgery Scheduled For Wednesday

I dread the surgery that Zeke will have to basically rebuild his knee because I'll be a nervous wreck but I look forward to moving on from this.  I dread too the recovery.  I'm not sure how well he'll be walking afterwards but I would assume it will be similar to how he's walking now which is laboriously.  He's better at getting up and down now and seems to be getting used to needing to favor his leg but I hate to see him struggle.  I dread the two month recovery time that will take for the knee...no exercise whatsoever during that time.  I haven't told Zeke yet and I'm sure he's NOT going to be happy.  I dread another doctor bill too...yesterday cost me just over $700; Monday cost just over $300 and Wednesday will probably cost about $1000.  I can't put a price on my baby but I sure hate the prices the vets have put on his knee!  I just keep telling myself that it's just money, you can't take it with you, at least Jim and I are both working, many others have it worse than us and even with this I can still pay my bills.  But - I still had nightmares last night of not being able to pay my mortgage and losing my house!  UGH!!!  (That isn't going to happen, it was just a nightmare!)

In other news, I have school today - can you believe it?  I'm not sure why they called it yesterday...the roads were fine when I went out at 8.  I know there are lots of hills and bridges and curves in Warren County, however so who am I to bitch and wonder. 

Tomorrow will be nice - a work day with no kids...I'll get the work done that needs to get done which is really just my IEP progress reports...I've really got nothing else that's pressing.  Hmm...maybe I should erase that for fear of some major paperwork snafu coming up. 

Okay - I best go...Zekey's been up and out and fed.  I'll worry about him on his own today but he won't have access to the upstairs and his pain pills seem to knock him out a bit.  He'll probably just be relieved to have at least 8 hours of uninterrupted time alone...well with his brother and sister.  K - must finish my toilette!  Later!

Snow Day #4; Make-up Day #1

But who am I to complain, right?  I get summer's off so a couple "extra" days will just have to be.  Funny thing though, I called in "sick" again...if things continue this way - I'll just keep wracking up my sick days without using any!  Maybe I'll have to call in sick tomorrow now since I still have those plans all ready on my desk...hmm!

So, I'll get ready in a couple minutes here to take Zeke to the vet.  Hopefully they'll take him right away and it won't take too long and hopefully they won't find anything like cancer and hopefully we can get this knee thing taken care of.  Considering it's a two month recovery I want to get it done!!!  Cross all fingers please!

Zeke had a good night last night and only got up to pee once.  He seems to be walking a little better although this is probably not because it's getting better (it will never heal itself) but him getting used to and figuring out how to walk easier.  He ate like a champ yesterday and this morning and pooped already!  Currently he's on his pillow staring at me, wagging his tail!  He'll be so pissed at me in a bit when I stick him in the car again.   Sorry boy!

Poo Calendar update
Black Poo:  Sometimes stool diverges from its usual brown color and emerges as a dark black shade.  This can be caused by foods high in iron, bismuth compounds (pepto) or blood in the digestive tract.  Hmm...can't say I've had black poo before...just thought I'd share.

Okay - I'm going to go get ready for the vet.  Hopefully the roads are fairly clear and no one pisses me off by tailing me...assholes.  Later!

Baby Zeke

Man - if it isn't a lumpy headed dog, it's a bagel-eating dog, or a bitchy dog; an allergy ridden dog and now a lame, ligament tearing, possible tumor ridden dog.  Not good.  Pray for my baby Zekey by the way!

So, recently (I don't know how much I have written about this - probably a bit of denial there) Zeke has been limping and moving a little slower.  I mean, he is 14.  In addition, I've noticed a weight loss.  The limpiness that I had noticed has been bad for about a week and so I told Jim Sunday night to call the vet and make an appointment for Monday and I would take him after school.  He made it for 4:30 yesterday.  When I got home, Zeke met me at the door out to the garage - or at least he tried.  He pretty much couldn't walk on his rear right leg and so I ended up taking him on his leash out front and carrying him inside.  He could barely move.

At the vet when I weighed him, he was 47 pounds - 6 pounds less than the last time he had been to the vet.  Not good...6 pounds for a dog his size is like 20.  Anyway, the doctor questioned me about what was going on and when I said his limp had started about week ago, he immediately got on his hands and knees to feel his leg.  Immediately, he realized that Zeke had torn his ACL.  The only treatment (aside from no treatment) is surgery.  The vet, however, was more concerned with his weight loss.  So, he suggested blood work to see if his levels told us anything about his weight and then an x-ray of his rear end to make sure there were no growths, tumors etc. Well, the x-rays were clear - very little arthritis etc.  Good news there.  The blood work, however, was not perfect.  He has slightly elevated liver enzymes.  This is the bigger issue which could be a sign of many things, including cancer.  So!  Before we do anything about the leg (what would be the point if he's got something as horrible as cancer), we need to get an ultrasound to see if there are any tumors in his abdomen.  We will do this Wednesday. 

In the meantime, Zeke is completely limited on where he can go in the house.  We are currently carrying him up and down the stairs and taking him either out front or out the side garage door to pee/poop.  He does not like being picked up but c'est la vie little man!  You are at the mercy of your mama and daddy!  We're also gating off the stairs (top or bottom - depending on if we're in bed or in family room).  Zeke apparently woke up 3 times last night to go out (barking from his pillow at the bottom of our bed) but interestingly, I never heard him.  Jim was good enough to take him down and out each time. 

Currently Zeke has been given his pain pills (which don't do much but seem to make him a bit more comfortable and sleepy) and is hanging in the FR with me on his pillow under his blankie.  Every time I look at at him, he wags his tail!  I love him!  I think he wants a fire in the fireplace and I'll have Jim get on that ASAP.  I called in sick for today but alas, they did call a snow day for today!  Yeah!  If I need to call in tomorrow, I will - depending on how well Zeke does today.  I hate leaving him alone so we'll see. 

Funny enough, Zeke's spirits still seem high.  The vet tech told me that when they were giving him his x-rays, holding him down, he would randomly start wagging his tail and then lick the tech at his head.  I told her this may have been some passive aggressive payback on his part considering his breath is pretty lethal!  He's still got an appetite and I'll be feeding him as much canned food as he'll eat, which I'm going to go do right now.  Fingers crossed please...say your prayers...he's such a good baby!  Later

Bubba - The Bad, Bagel-Eating Basset Mix!

He is so bad!  I'm just flabbergasted by his badness!  He doesn't even look remotely sorry, does he?!

So, yesterday, Jim and I went out and about so I could get fabric and school-groceries (my yogurt, bananas, whole wheat bagels etc.).  I get home and unload everything...I put the yogurt in the garage fridge, the bananas in the car and the bagels in my lunch bag which hangs on a chair just inside the dining room (my lunch bag is a square, cloth Igloo one that zips at the top...like the one at left...it can fit a 6-pack in it). I go about my day.  So around, oh say 5PM - I'm sitting in the oversized chair in the family room, watching the football game and I say to Jim, "Is Bubba still outside (licking the snow)?"  Jim:  "No, I let him in a while ago."  Me:  "Hmm."  See if Bubba isn't with us or eating snow, he's sitting by the front door looking out or he's eating.  So I get up to check on him and he OH BOY!!!  He was eating alright!  He had gotten into my lunch bag (it still hung on the chair in perfect order) pulled out the bag of bagels, somehow untied the twisty thing (the bag wasn't even mauled or chewed on) and proceeded to eat TWO WHOLE WHOLE WHEAT BAGELS!!!  TWO!!!  And they're BIG bagels!  He would have eaten the whole bag if I hadn't caught him and probably stashed the damn bag so I thought I had simply left them somewhere.  I think he may have even eaten the twisty thing cause I haven't found it anywhere. 

Well, you can imagine that Bubba got a stern talking to!  I have to give it to him, however.  He did look rather ashamed.  Of course, now that I think back on it - I'm sure he looked all down and out while I was shaking my finger at him because he wasn't fast enough to wolf all or more of them down before getting caught red-pawed!  He's so bad!  And holy shit was his belly ginormous all night long!  I guess you can take the garbage-eating, scavaging dog out of Tennessee but you can't take the Tennessee out of the dog!  Hee hee!

Okay well - I'm out...I have to get to school and figure out what I'm doing today.  It will hopefully be a good week - no kids on Friday (a work day) and then a long weekend.  Maybe we'll even get a delay or dare I say snow day tomorrow!?  Later!

Black Swan

Holy shizz!  Just saw Black Swan.  Really amazing!  A complete and total mind f&#k!  My mom saw it and said, "Oh my God!" and I must say, I agree.  Yowza.  Natalie Portman did an amazing job...I don't know how she managed to get through filming it, however.  I would be drained each and every minute I was involved in that movie.  If ever asked what profession I would hate to have?  Ballerina!  Never, never, never!  Insane!  Beautiful movie though. See it!

EVA RAE!!!

It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!
It's a GIRL!

I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore!!!

That's one of the "Holidays/Celebrations" today.  I really don't have anything to bitch about except, that's right, stupid kids and their parents.  Nothing major...just another email from a parent whose kid has an essay due and her kid "doesn't know how to write an essay" and doesn't know who to ask.  Me:  Hey lady!!!  Maybe she could ask me for help like she does every other day in her study hall - THAT SHE HAS WITH ME!!!  The mother claims that the daughter claims "She doesn't know who to ask and has trouble asking the right people for help."  Me:  Oh, really!?  'Cause when she's at school she asks anyone and everyone for help and then throws a freakin' hissy fit if we don't give her the answers to her liking and/or tells us it isn't right but SURE!!!  I'll help her.

I guess I did have a little something to bitch about.

So TODAY IS THE DAY!!!  Boy?  Girl?  Maggie and Charlie will know at around 1PM if they're having a being of Sugar and spice, and everything nice or frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails.  Yeah!!!  I can't wait. 

Okay well, I best head out.  It's cold as hell and not looking to get much warmer than around 25 today (and over the next 7 days)...LOVE IT!!!  K - later!  Text me, Maggie - as soon as you hear?!

Doo You Know?

In a continuation of yesterdays calendar tidbit (or bidtit as I like to say in my head):  Only 50% of the world's population has ever experienced the aroma of asparagus pee.  This was initially thought to be due to differences in the way some of us digested asparagus but now!!!  It is believed that while all of us excrete the sulfur-containing compounds in our urine, only 50% of us have the genes to DETECT the smell!!!  Isn't that fascinating?  That I could SMELL something that someone else can't?  I've heard this about the smell of cyanide...that only some people can detect an almond smell...I wonder if it's for the same reason.  Hmm...Who knew that my poo calendar would cause such questions...such insight...such interesting and useless information!?

Okay so Jim and I played Jeopardy again last night - twice - and guess what?  I won both games.  That poor (stupid) man!  Hee hee...I kid of course. Not that I won...of course I won - I just don't really think that Jim is stupid.  Anyway, I was looking at my stats and it had me winning just about $400,000 and 13 out of 18 games where Jim has one 1 out of 18 and only won $40,001.  Although for one game - that's a hefty payout.  Too bad it isn't really ours...just like we didn't win that damn lottery.  Son of bitch! 

Merry Armenian Christmas by the way!  I miss Christmas.  If I lived in Armenia, I would be celebrating!  I miss snow too.  Hopefully we'll be getting a bit of snow tonight (enough for a delay?!).  They're saying only about an inch but Bubba will be happy.  He's taken to going out into the back yard and just laying down looking all sad.  Which is weird...he normally hates just hanging out in the back yard.  I think he's sunk into a depression without the white stuff.  Maybe it's withdrawal. 

K - I better get to school...We had a lock down yesterday and I didn't have to teach my low language arts class...bonus!  I'm sure I won't be that lucky again today.  Oh well...later!

Car Update

Well, there is some good news on the car front.  Originally, Jim took his car to Mr. Transmission - a place recommended, he says, by a few people.  Their diagnosis was the same as the guy at Firestone:  his 4-wheel differential (the thing that sends power from the drive shaft to both sides of the axel - I looked it up) which would cost approximately $1500.  I told him that there was no way in hell we were going to fix something that costly with just one estimate.  We thus took his car to Aamco for a second estimate.  That guy said the issue was the transmission case which would cost about $1000 (better).  Jim called me to tell me and I told him to call the guy back and ask about the original diagnosis.  He said it's possible to do that and he knows the guy at Mr. Transmission and he doesn't believe he would misdiagnose on purpose.  We are thus getting Jim's car repaired and hope to have it back either today or tomorrow.  In the meantime, Jim hasn't been working which means he'll be working long hours Friday and through the weekend.  Oh well - I guess it could be worse. 

Poo Calendar - Jan. 5 "Pungent Pee"
The most fragrant pee fragrances is asparagus aromas.  This foul, eggy odor results from the release of sulfur-containing compounds during asparagus digestion.  These compounds are absorbed from the digestive tract into the bloodstream and then filtered into urine by the kidneys.  Amazingly, asparagus aroma can be detected in urine within 15 minutes of consuming the vegetable.   AWESOME!!!

Okay so, today is the first REAL day back to school.  I'll be starting a new book in my low language arts class and Hamlet in my high Language Arts class.  I read the "No Fear" version of Shakespeare with my kids which gives on one side of the page the original text and on the other the modern version.  It's pretty funny sometimes too because the sexual innuendos that Shakespeare disguises with pretty words and twisted language is spelled out pretty clearly.  It always cracks the kids up.  I hope this play only takes about a month to get through but we'll see.  Ugh! 

Okay - well, that's all I've got.  Better get a move on...later and oh, Happy Bird Day!

You Are Getting Sleepy, Mr. Crapper!

So today is World Hypnotism day!  And Bean Day!  And Trivia Day!  Not to mention my Poo Calendar tidbit:  The Crapper:  Thomas Crapper, a British plumber is widely credited with inventing the terlet.  This is in fact, not true.  Sir John Harrington designed the first flush toilet in 1596, 250 years before Crapper.  Considering there was no indoor plumbing at that time however, the world had to wait for Crapper to invent the modern flushing toilet.  Hmm...very interesting...I can share that with the kids at school...that isn't inappropriate! (Isn't that a fancy terlit, by the way?)

In other news:  Jim's car is still a head scratcher.  We know what is wrong with it but alas, we don't know what it is going to exactly cost.  We know it will be expensive but we're hoping to get a slightly better quote than the approximately $1500 we got yesterday.  That's a pretty solid and expected figure, however.  We're just hoping for something a bit better.  And yes, I know that we should probably be buying Jim a new car but alas, his car is paid off and at this present time, it's financially better for us to fix the current issue rather than have a car payment every month.  Ugh!  I'm keeping my chin up, however as it's just money, you can't take it with you and what are you going to do? 

Funny quote from student:  Discussing all the things that the kids did and got over break, one boy said, "My sister got a runny babbit."  Me:  "Hmm...is that some sort of new breed of hopping mammal?" 

Okay well, I need to get gas and stop at the ATM so I better head.  It's our exam makeup day and we don't have kids until 9:30 - BONUS!!!  I'm thus not worried about getting to school before 7:00.  Lots to do today!  K - I'm out...later!

Crop Dusting

From my daily calendar:
"Crop Dusting is an act that can be performed out of malice or as a means to avoid being identified as the source of a particular vile-smelling fart.  It is executed by precisely synchronizing flatal release with a brisk walk in the vicinity of a group of unsuspecting, distracted individuals, thereby leaving the abhorrent aroma in your wake."

I think something similar happened to me yesterday when Bubba, sitting next to me got off the couch.  I guess the pressure of having to heave his large body up from a horizontal position and then jump down caused a "flatal release" thereby rendering me incoherent from the aromatic wake!  UGH! 

Synonyms for Crop Dusting:

• Carpet Bombing
• Napalm
• Shock and awe
• The Trailer
• The Drive-by Dirty Bomb

So, this day has finally come.  I hate going back to work.  Period.  No question.  However, this break has been great and felt really long and relaxing.  I can honestly say that the time DIDN'T fly by and it seemed to give me just what I needed to power through until Spring Break.  Now, that attitude may all change the minute I have to deal with a moron.  And by moron, I'm not just talking about the kids - if ya get my meanin'!  And of course I exclude all my friends at work. 

Oh, Jim's car.  You knew that it couldn't be something so simple as a hub cap fix, right?  You knew this would turn into something costly, didn't you?  Well, of course the issue is his 4-wheel differential.  I have no idea what that means but the cost could be in the several hundreds.  He's going to get some estimates today.  Ugh!  His mechanic friend who Jim would usually go to with this type thing won't/can't do it and says it is a bitch to get to and can take several hours just to remove.  Yowza.  Cross your fingers!  At least it's drivable in the meantime!

Okay - well, I better finish getting my shit together.  I need to go to Costco after school too which I'm not looking forward to.  We are fresh out of Fish Oil, razors and allergy pills.  Ugh!  K - later!

The Machinist

So, Jim and I watched The Machinist last night with Christian Bale.  It's a psychological thriller about a guy who hasn't slept for a year and begins to see things that he isn't sure is real or not.  It was very interesting and good but I was seriously disgusted by the way Christian Bale looked.  He apparently lost about 60 pounds for the role and YUCK!  Regardless of that, however, it was an enjoyable movie that I've wanted to see for a while.  Certainly worth my time.

By the way - here's the before and after of Mr. Bale in all his disgustingess!  Isn't that gross!?  That can't be healthy!

So after we watched that and after we ate our good luck delicious pork and sauerkraut, we watched Russell Brand in New York City!  He's my new obsession!  I love his accent and quick wit humor.  I love the way he says "f" for "th".  For example:  "Fank you!"  I can't wait until the remake of Arthur comes out!

And that was my yesterday.  I kicked Jim's ass in Jeopardy several times.  It's really embarrassing at this point.  I ended up the only contestant in the Final Jeopardy. 

Well, that's it.  Jim and I are headed out to take his car to Firestone.  He has a hub cap repair on one of his tires (free).  No big deal.  We'll head to Meijer to get a few things and then come home to watch TV - football, the new Oprah network.  I'm obsessed with that too...the shows I've seen are really interesting and good.  I saw the Jay-Z Masters special yesterday...what a fascinating and well-rounded guy.  Anyway - those are my plans.  I'm not looking forward to tomorrow and going back to work but hopefully I'll be winning the lottery here soon and then the HGTV Dream Home and moving to Stowe Vermont.  (Suckers!)  K - later! 

Number Three

First of all - Happy New Year!  It was a very uneventful but relaxing (and safe) night for Jim and me.  I made a nice dinner of steak, baked potatoes and asparagus which we ate around 6:30.  From there, we hung out and played with NetFlix which I signed up for on the Wii...it's pretty cool to be able to watch a TON of stuff through that little machine.  Like having our own little blockbuster at our fingers.  Anyway - we went up to bed around 9:30 and watched Eclipse which took us to the new year. Woo hoo!

So, I'm sure you're wondering about the title of this post.  Well, one of my most favorite gifts this Christmas from Jim was a daily calendar of poo.  Yes, poo...poop...number two!  So today is day number one (Jan. 01/02).  It's title is "Number Three" and gives several synonyms for that particular bodily function.  I thought I'd share (sorry Mom...I know potty talk isn't your thing but it makes me laugh!)

• Butt piss
• Liquid poo
• The runs
• Oil Spill
• Hershey squirts
• Montezuma's revenge
• Chocolate thunder
• Operation Marination
• Operation Evacuation
• Releasing the Hounds
• The Nile
• Poo Stew
• Gravy Poo
• Rectum Rapids
• It's Raining Poo
• Deuce Juice
• Turd Tea

I mean for shizz!  That's funny.  I would imagine and I would expect that this year will be filled with posts covering all that is related to Poo!  I hope you all look forward like I look forward!

Happy New Year!!!