R.I.P. Doug Nawrocki

This is at our camp ground, Deer Creek
1994, I believe. Doug is in the back
with the baseball cap on backwards. That's me,
in the forefront. (Stupid bangs.) 

I was sitting at my desk today and it was just about lunch time; the time I usually sit down, take a look at Facebook and heat my food for lunch. I almost wish I hadn't picked up my phone. When I did, I got such a shock. Such a terrible shock. An old friend, Doug, from my days with David, died. I'm flabbergasted. Seriously, when I started reading his wife's post, breaking the news, at first I thought I was reading someone else's post. I stopped after the first sentence, looked at the picture thinking, Whose post is this? Some other 'Joy Nawrocki'. It had to be someone else's profile; someone I didn't know. And it actually crossed my mind that it was a joke. A not very funny joke. But then I realized it was true. Doug had died. A man of 55, in a month and a half, got liver and kidney disease and died. A man with three children, the youngest of whom is a senior in high school, had left this world. A husband who had just celebrated his 28th wedding anniversary was gone. I'm just so sad. 

 I know Doug and I had lost touch. It was bound to happen. He was David's best friend and when I had to leave, there was no question that Doug would remain loyal to his friend, the best man at his wedding. But I was pretty sure Doug didn't resent me or blame me. I had spent so much time with Doug during the 4+ years I was with David. We'd "toured" the Grateful Dead together and camped together for weeks at a time. We'd celebrated marriages together (his and other friends) and when things went bad between David and I, Doug was supportive. When I left David, I needed to know he had people to lean on and Doug was there for him which meant that he was there for me. And that's something I'm forever grateful for. 

When David killed himself and I saw Doug for the first time at David's memorial, there was no bitterness. I knew David had never really gotten over losing me (I hope that doesn't sound conceited) and I was a bit nervous seeing all his friends who may have felt I'd scarred him unjustly (they didn't know the real story). Doug immediately came to me and just hugged me. It was warm and heartfelt and full of history told me all I needed to know about him. He was a true and solid friend and again, I'm just so sad that his friends and family are left with a hole. He deserved to live so many more years. 

One thing I know is that Doug is in heaven right now with David (yes, David is there) and together they are listening to their favorite Dead shows and I'm betting they'll be there a long time switching tapes in and out, catching up with each other but mostly just jamming out. 

R.I.P. Doug Nawrocki...you left quite a lot of friends behind and an even greater legacy in your kids.