Educating...Parents

Sometimes, as a teacher, you have to give a little lesson to a parent about their kids. I had a parent call me the other day, wanting to talk. Her son is in three of my pullout classes and she said he's experiencing a lot of anxiety because my work is too hard. Huh. Now, I understand that it's an adjustment as a freshman going from the junior high where they don't have as many expectations as the high school but seriously...my class couldn't really get any easier unless I gave students the answers to everything.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled topic for this important announcement: Muir is on a TWO-HOUR DELAY!!! WOOT WOOT!!! That makes me so happy and the best part was that I wasn't even thinking we would get one or need one! Roads must suck or they finally threw us a bone after all the times we didn't get a delay! Jim's happy too because he can leave earlier for work without guilt of the puppies. Hot dog!

Anyway - back to tour regularly scheduled topic...here's a little background about this kid (lets call him Tapper): Tapper has only been in the district for a few years and he moved here from Cincinnati Public. When they moved him into the district, he did not fare well apparently (had a lot of anxiety and behaviors) so mom took him out and "home schooled him". Always a mistake in my opinion. Why are you taking a kid out of school that can offer him so many services and secluding him from life? Anyway - he came back to my district in 7th grade and apparently had a TON of absences because of his fears. Last year (8th grade) was better and this year, he seems to me to have adjusted well to school. We had a few hiccups in the beginning with him doing homework but now, he always has it done. He still leaves a lot to be desired in his tests/quizzes but I think that's because he doesn't study. Oh, and he has an IQ of 60. To put this into perspective, understand that an AVERAGE IQ (middle of the road, a C student) is 100.

So I'm talking to the parent yesterday (she's very nice and puts responsibility on her son for a lot of his habits) and I'm explaining how my classes work: Everything is presented in a lesson in a PowerPoint as well as on paper in front of them. Their notes are in a "cloze" passage (random important-word blanks which the kids have to fill in) and after each section (after extensive discussion and explanation, often videos) the kids have a section review to do on their own. I have 5 kids in science and history so I have the ability to let all students keep up (he complained that I go too fast!). Literally, I walk around to make sure everyone is where they should be and that they have everything written down before I advance slides.

And then I ask the parent, "So what are your goals for Tapper after high school? What does Tapper want to do?" And her answer floors me! She says, "Well, we were thinking Xavier." In my mind I'm screaming but then for a minute I have hope as she continues. "But then I realized that this may not be possible...because it's so expensive...we may have to get loans or grants. But he's also been talking about UC." Oh boy! You're one of those parents. Clueless. Living in an alternate dimension.

So then I had to have the "we-need-to-have-realistic-goals" talk. In the best way I could, I explained that her son may not have the ability to go to a school like that because of, well EVERYTHING. I didn't come out and say, "Tapper has a 60 IQ...5 points away from what is considered 'mental retardation'" but I did try to explain that his goals may have to be adjusted.

In the end, we had a really good conversation. She admittedly said she didn't know what direction her son could go so I hope I imparted to her a bit of relief and direction. There are a lot of resources and options open to them and as he's moving through the high school, they will be walked through these options. But MAN! How do parents not KNOW these things about their kids? When Jim's cancer reared its ugly head, I didn't sit back and just let things happen and not know what things meant...I researched and looked things up and when I didn't understand something I asked questions or Googled it. With special education comes a TON of paperwork and most parent just have no idea what any of it means and many, I guess, prefer to remain clueless? Ugh! Frustrating.

Okay - I'm done. I went on a little more than I normally would have because I have the time since I'm on a TWO-HOUR DELAY!!! And now I'm going to get my ass on the couch and sip some coffee and watch some Morning Joe and then the Today show. Happy Thursday! Later!