President's Joke Day and Nearly Dead Husbands!

So today is President's Joke Day. Here is the history behind it. It makes me laugh.

Many people believe this is a day to make jokes about the president. On the contrary, this day is for presidents to make a joke. On this day in 1984, President Ronald Reagan made a doozie. On August 11, 1984, just before his regular Saturday radio address, President Ronald Reagan was doing a voice test with the microphone. He thought the microphone and the feed was not live. He joked into the microphone: "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." To his surprise, he was speaking to a live feed! This incident led to the creation of "Presidential Joke Day".

In other news, my husband was nearly beaten to death by me yesterday. Actually I didn't touch him but that's only because I'm not a violent person and I forced myself not to get near him and my arms arent' that long and I didn't want to go to jail. I did scream and yell at him. My voice is a bit scratchy today because of it. Now, you may be wondering, "Oh boy! What unrealistic expectation did Muir have of her husband this time!?" (Eff you by the way if that's what you were thinking.)

Well, Jim was off work yesterday but was going down to Clifton to work on his brother's house. I figured it was a perfect time for him to pick up the carpet cleaner on his way home and I could clean the carpets (they're filthy). So we discussed it and I told him, "Leave a bit early from Bishop, around 3, go and get the cleaner and that way you'll be home at 4 or 4:30. I can then start before dinner." Perfect!

So I'm laying around yesterday after having grocery shopped at both Costco and Kroger as well as cleaned the house. 3:17 rolls around and I think, "I should call Jim and say - Okay, it's after 3...have you left?" But I decided not to. I decided to throw a little faith my husband's way. So I guess the following events were really my fault then. Can you imagine what happened? That's right! Jim walked in the house at 4:23 empty handed. I said, "Did you get it?" And he just stood there. Didn't look at me...didn't say a word. I seriously thought he was kidding. I said, "You're joking right?" I even chuckled a little. Jim's head seemed to droop even further. At this point I totally lost my shit. And understand that this isn't about the carpet cleaner!!!

I mean DUDE!!! Doesn't it even cross your mind to wonder - "Hmm...why am I home earlier than usual!? Why am I leaving Clifton at 3?"

Think about it. I go through my day and I think about my husband. I go to the grocery store and I buy wine for PIB; beer that I know Maggie and Charlie and I will drink; and I buy the special blueberry shit beer that I know my husband likes and I buy it because I know he doesn't like any of the other beer or wine I bought. And why do I do this? BECAUSE I WANT TO DO THOUGHTFUL THINGS!!! BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT MY HUSBAND DURING THE DAY!!! BECAUSE I TRY TO BE CONSIDERATE!!!

What does Jim think about during his day? Jim. He gets in the car it seems and just thinks: Jim. Jim going home. Jim driving. Jim going to eat dinner. Jim falling asleep on the couch. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim.

So, I'm over my anger (can you tell) but let me tell you - I laid down the law during dinner last night. From now on, Jim must make a list of his "jobs" for the day. And he must check it periodically especially before he comes home. As well, he'll call home before he gets home to ensure there's nothing he's forgetting and to check to see if I need anything. Does this all sound like I'm treating him like a 4 year old? Well f%&k it. You try living with inconsideration for nearly 10 years and see what kind of attitude you have.

And I don't want any f**%king "Poor Jim" comments. How about a few "Poor Muir's"!

By the way, Jim turned right around and went back down to Cincinnati and got the carpet cleaner. He didn't get home until 6:30. I didn't finish cleaning the downstairs carpets until 10!

K - sorry about the rant. I'm off to finish cleaning the carpets upstairs. Later.