Actual Honest-To-God Words!!!

I don't know why/how I came upon this but I was looking up funny words and came across the 100 funniest words in the English language. I was flabbergasted (not on the list) that these were actual words...and they are!!! I looked them up! Here are just a few:

Bowyang
A strap that holds the pants legs in place.
...sounds more like a word to describe the music played in a porno.

Collywobbles
Butterflies in the stomach

Fartlek
An athletic training regime.
...this one cracks me up! Here's my sentence: My fartlek consists of walking 2 miles a day with my dog.

Formication
The sense of ants crawling on your skin
...not to be mistaken with "fornication"!!!

Gardyloo!
A warning shouted before throwing water from above

Hobbledehoy
An awkward or ill-mannered young boy
...Jim's a hobbledehoy...but he's not so young. Hmm...I wonder if there's a different word for an awkward or ill-mannered OLD boy?

Pettifogger
A person who tries to befuddle others with his speech.
...I feel pettifogged right now with all these crazy words!

Slangwhanger
A loud abusive speaker or obnoxious writer

Turdiform
Having the form of a lark
...hmm...seems like the real definition should have something to do with the form of doodie!

Vomitory
An exit or outlet
...Sentence: I feel trapped!!! This room has no vomitory!!! HELP!!!

Wabbit
Exhausted, tired, worn out.
...this is my favorite because it reminds me of Elmer Fudd and that Geico commercial! "Rabbit! Wabbit! Rabbit! Wabbit! Ooooh, this guy is dwiving me cwazy!"

K - that's all I've got...this can count as my JOTD too (Maggie!). I need to go crack the whip on Jim's ass right now cause he's pulling a...Jim, and being all lazy and shit! Later!

Current Addictions

I've recently bought a new CD - Mumford and Sons "Sigh No More" and I can't stop listening to it. I first heard them on my music channel but then Maggie had heard them too and downloaded their CD which prompted me to buy it as well. It's super! If you like that Irish/English jig type music (lots of banjo, Dobro, mandolin, accordion etc.) you must give them a listen...you won't be sorry. Cullen told me too that if I like Mumford and Sons I should also give Neutral Milk Hotel a try. Weird name, I know but I've heard a few things and am diggin' them too! I'll have to purchase!

Speaking of purchasing!!! I've pre-ordered David Gray's new CD coming out in August - "Foundling"! (I loves me some Old Wobbly Head!) Can't wait! The American release is a double album too!!! Hot diggity dog!!!

So Jim and I are going out tonight to the Chicken Joint (Silver Spring House). Can't wait! We went to Trio's last week (Jim's choice) and although the meal was delicious, that place it just waaaaaayyyyy overpriced. Not to be a cheap penny pincher or anything but my meatloaf was $22!!! And it wasn't as good as my meatloaf! I mean come on!!! Meatloaf!? For $22!? Please! Oh well, it was a good meal regardless and the company was nice (Dad, Becky and Cullen). Anyway, I look forward to dinner out with my hubby tonight (I'm craving their pork chop with spicy plum sauce). He's worked really hard this week putting in nearly 12-hour days every day. Since he'll be off nearly all week next week (PIB!!!!), he wanted to get the extra time in. He's a good, hard-working boy!

Okay so I'm getting a bit annoyed right now. It's supposed to be a really sunny day today but I have yet to see blue sky! I had planned on laying out! What the f!?

K - I'm going to go outside now and yell at God to get a move on the clouds! Mama needs to keep her tan up to par! Later and happy cheesecake day!

Please Accept My Apology!

I was mistaken yesterday in saying that it was lasagna day! I'm sorry, and I hope no one ended up eating a pan of lasagna in celebration because you'll have to do it again today. I was one day off...I'm sorry.

In addition to it being Lasagna Day today, it is also Rain Day (doesn't look like that will happen here) and National Chili Dog Day...mmm...loves me some chili dogs! Wonder if that would include Skyline?! I think I may now need to celebrate in a special Cincinnati way.

So here are a couple JOTD (actually just some deep thoughts):

"The older you get, the better you get-unless you are a banana"
"Why is abbreviation such a long word?"
If you choke a smurf, what color will it turn?
"Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else."
"There are three kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who can't."

So, I got my new cell phone yesterday. I did indeed get the Strive. So far, I like it a lot. I also got some funny tunes downloaded and assigned them to certain people. For example, "Maggie's Farm" by Bob Dylan is assigned to...duh, Maggie. ("I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more!) Jim got "The one I love" by David Gray. I know, sappy. I tried to get a Frank Zappa song for him but alas, they had none. Stink! I texted you, Maggie...did you get it!? Project Runway starts tonight! You probably didn't realize and didn't program your DVR. Stink!

Okay so my plans today are to clean, make dinner, walk Sami (for those worried about Jim's safety - he did indeed walk the boys this morning before leaving), get ready for PIB and...then we'll see what else the day brings.

K - I best walk Sami before she starts biting my toes...later.

Uh oh! T.O. has missed his flight for day one of training camp. Starting out strong! Hopefully this was just a terrible coincidence cause his addition could be very exciting for our city!

What Day Is It?

I can't keep track of the day...I thought it was Thursday but come to find out, it's Wednesday...hmm.

So, here's the JOTD (or two):

Q: What is invisable and smells like carrots?
A: Rabbit farts.

Q: What do you call a camal with 3 humps?
A: Humphreys

So, just got off the phone with Maggie...she's having a good time down in Alabama (?...is that where you are?) but of course, she misses me. Who wouldn't?

Just got back from taking Sami on her 2 mile walk...it was reaaaaalllly hot and poor Sami is exhausted. After getting a nice big drink she just short of dropped/flopped on the ground a hasn't moved. We had to take a longer route than usual because we kept coming across other dogs and in order to avoid a "scene" we took longer routes. Oh well...she loves it. I also had to take Zeke and Bubba on their walks (again) because although Jim promised me yesterday that he would take them today, he lied and left the house at 6:30 without doing his "job". He's in trouble.

In holiday news, it's National Milk Chocolate Day (not chocolate milk day as I first thought). I wish it were National Dark Chocolate Day but I guess I'll just have to make do with milk chocolate. In addition it's Lasagna Day. That's weird to me. I wouldn't think July 28th would be a day where you'd be all hip to making and eating a big old pan of lasagna in 90 degree heat but hey, that's just me. And anyway, lasagna is good any old day really!

Okay so I'd better get a move on. I need to head to the Fields Ertel area for a quick run at Costco (dog food) and then to AT&T...my phone completely busted yesterday and I'm forced to get a new one...stupid Motorola flip fu&%ing phone! Oh well. K - later!

Barbie-In-a-Blender Day!!

First of all the JOTD (Joke of the day):

Q: How do landscapers have sex?

A: They plant it deeper.

or jokeS of the day:

Q: How do sailors have sex?

A: They like to be blown.

Hee hee

So, the holiday today - I know you're wondering. Well, I was curious myself and so looked it up. It's all about free speech. It stems from a lawsuit that Mattel brought against a Utah artist (Tom Forsythe) who had taken a naked barbie and posed her in the kitchen with all these appliances. I guess Mattel got a little bent out of shape (copyright infringement). Mattel lost and had to pay the artists 1.8 million in court fees and legal costs. Stupid Mattel. (This one is called Triple Barbie Smoothie.)

Today's plans: I need to walk ALL dogs since Jim didn't have time this morning. I need to go to the store. I'll do a little school work here and then maybe lay in the sun or something of the sort. Who knows.

That's it...I got nothing else. I'm boring. K - Sami's getting antsy...later.

Sing Them Home by Stephanie Kallos

Ugh! (Not a good way to start my most recent read, huh?) I don't know what it is with my picks lately but I'm just not feeling the woe-is-me characters that seem to be inhabiting every book I pick. Seriously, could we have some upbeat likable characters please!?

So here's the synopsis of my latest: In 1978, Hope Jones, a Nebraskan mother with MS is swept away by a tornado, never to be seen again. She leaves behind Larken, Gaelen and Bonnie as well as her physician (not DOCTOR!!!) husband Llewellyn. Fast forward to 2003 when Llewellyn is struck and killed by lightening while the dumb ass is golfing during a ginormous thunderstorm. In the aftermath, the three "children" return home for the week-long funeral "celebration". Larken is now a 178 lb. professor of art who uses food as her "everything" - her only real relationship is with a 3-year old; Gaelen is a sex addict/weatherman (not meteorologist) who can't commit; Bonnie is a 31-year-old, spinster who lives in a converted garage/shack and makes her living blending smoothies in her spare time while the majority of her time is spent obsessively collecting garbage found on the side of the road that she believes are remnants from her mothers life.

From that, you may wonder why I would pick this up in the first place. Well, I had read this author before (Broken For you) and really enjoyed. I should say she's a good writer but I guess I've just had it up to here with characters who have no redeemable qualities. The only part of the book I really enjoyed was the diary portions of Hope's. The only reason I continued reading to the end was to find out what the big secret was that being kept. I wouldn't recommend this book but maybe that's just me. I feel like reading a sure thing now...either the 7th Harry Potter (for the 3rd time) or Breaking Dawn (the last in the Twilight series). We'll see.

Last Monday of July,,,Sad!

Maggie has requested a Joke of the day so let us start off with that (share with all your comrades today):

Q. What do you get when a Leper takes a bath?
A. Soup.

Oh, I love me some leper jokes!!!

So, in other news, Jim is currently getting ready for his first day of work at GLP (gaslight properties). Exciting. I keep forgetting that he'll actually be home for dinner and so I think, "Well, I guess I can have either a salad or leftovers for dinner" and then SHAZAM!!! I remember that he now has normal hours! Good or bad? We'll see. The past 7 months may have saved us in divorce lawyers so we could be screwed. Ruh roh!

I think I just heard someone ask what I had planned for the day. Well, nothing. I think I'm going to try and finish my book, continue my knitting and figure out what to have for dinner tonight. I'll probably just to a simple chicken dish on the grill or baked...we'll see. I think it's supposed to be nice too so I'll most likely lay out in the sun and cook myself some more.

Yesterday I brushed the crap out of the dogs and I think I shed off enough fur for a whole other dog. It was crazy. Zeke was pissed. He hates it. He kept barking at me and whipping his head around and trying to run out into the yard. He's nuts. Bubba just kept wiggling his ass and trying to get away. I try to explain to them that it will make them feel so much better without all that lumpy fur but only Sami listens to me. She just lays there and moans...mmm...mmm...rrrr. Maybe she's just biding her time until she gets a good clean shot at my jugular...hmm.

God, can you imagine trying to brush this?!

K - I'm off to walk my baby. Later all!

Quick Post

I think it may storm here in a bit and I want to get in my 2 miles with Sami before it does...and I want to make breakfast so this will be quick.

Nothing much to say here. I ran my errands yesterday and managed to get home to sit on my ass by 1:00. I set up Jim and my email accounts so that we can get email etc. on our phones as well as unlimited texts. Not that I do this but Jim needs it for his new job and it was a better deal to just put it on our family plan. I'll upgrade our phones later but just didn't feel like doing it yesterday (expensive). My phone is busted and will probably need replacement before Jim's but he can do that himself (the Strive seems to be the best bang for your buck). I tried to get my phone fixed yesterday - it's under warranty - but alas, it had water damage and they wouldn't take it (there's a little marker inside the phone that they check and if it's red that tells the manufacturer that there's been water damage). I left the damn thing outside in a rain storm a few weeks ago...oops...I can't be pissed because it was my fault. That isn't why the thing is busted by the way. It's a stupid flip phone and it's lost it's flip. I hate flip phones...I'll never get another one again.

Okay so that's that. No real plans today. We'll see what Jimmy wants to do. I need to knit like a maniac to finish the two baby blankets I'm doing for my former co-teacher friend. I have until Aug. 13 which should be plenty of time. Other than that, I'll figure out my menu for the week (now that Jim has normal hours again, I can once more be organized there). Tonight I think I'll do a version of my Fettuccine with chicken and mushroom sauce. I'm not a huge fan of the thickness of the fettuccine noodle and will probably do linguine instead...we'll see. Maybe a nice wheat egg noodle. Ooh, yeah, that's what I'll do...deeeeelicious.

K - I'm out. Sami's yelling at me to get a move on. K - later.

Tell An Old Joke Day!

Here are just a few:

Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.

Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.

Q. Did you hear about the guy who's a dyslexic-bulimic?
A. He eats, and then he sticks his finger up his ass.

Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste! (GROSS!!!)

Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
A. Clever Dick

Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
A. He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog.

Q. Why did the leper crash his car?
A. He left his foot on the accelerator.

Q. What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?
A. Wipe him off, apologize and RUN! (That's bad!!! AND!!! It took me a minute to get it).

Funny stuff! So, today, I'm doing a bit of errand running. With Jim's new job, he needs to have email access on his phone so we're going to go to the AT&T store to see if A) we can upgrade free/cheaply and B) change our family plan to include all that stuff that comes with texting, email etc. Other than that, I need to go to Michel's (need more yarn) and Target. Then, it's home and some chillin' with my puppy villains!

Must finish cleaning and showering...later.

Change On A Dime

True Dat! So I think I mentioned yesterday that Jim had quit his job and was going to wait tables during the interim that something different came up, right? And I mentioned too that he had an interview with a rather large, local rental agency, right? Well, he ended up getting that job and will start Monday...Yeah! One of the questions that they asked when he went in was what he wanted out of the job and Jim said that he wanted to be somewhere that he could make a career...a place where he could grow and advance. They promised him that with this company that would definitely happen. I'm happy for him and happy for me. He'll be working normal hours - Monday - Friday, 8:30 - 5:30ish. We'll be able to have dinner together again and I'll be able to start cooking on a regular basis again. Joy!!! (No sarcasm there, btw.) And, we'll still get to go to PIB for one last time.

In other news, I had crazy dreams last night. I dreamt about an old "boyfriend". I put that in quotes because I don't know that we were ever "dating". I've known him since high school and when we got together, it was very covert because he happened to be dating Kristyn at the time and I was dating his best friend, Ashley. I know, I know! I'm a horrible person...it's the one and only time I've ever truly screwed a friend and it was the worst thing I ever did. I still feel guilty about it. Anyway, this guy and I (I'll just say it, his name is Scott) ended up becoming friends after "dating"(in real life) because he happened to be in Boston going to Berklee while I was at Northeastern and I lived about 2 blocks from his apartment. There was still that inkling of attraction between us but, for the most part (we slipped once), we managed to keep that separate from our friendship. I do miss the angst of my early years but I'm damn glad that I'm not living it over again. Talk about heartbreak and turmoil...ugh.

Anyway, I digress! In my dream, I was at a party where Scott was and I wasn't completely comfortable being there because he was kind of ignoring me...so I left. Well, when I left he decided that he'd "walk me out". So we left together and started going back to my place but we got waylaid by a place that was giving spray tans so Scott decided to get one. It was so weird. It only got weirder and I don't remember much more other than small snippets but it just got me thinking about all that time in my late teens...freshman year at college. Sigh...I loved Boston...it was so much fun. Again...sigh...

So today, Jim and I are going to Raeburn to get a break from this nasty heat and humidity - by the way, it's "Hot Enough For Ya" Day! I plan on lounging in the pool all day, reading my book and playing a bit o' pool volleyball...Anyone else willing to join?

K - best get going...need to make a lunch to take with us and gotta get suits and towels ready. Later...happy Friday and happy Gorgeous Grandma day!!!

Home From PIB

It was a whirlwind trip from Columbus to PIB but alas, I am home again. Not thrilled about being home because it was such a nice trip to PIB (and Columbus) but such is life.

So, while in Columbus, Maggie and I just hung out. We went a nice walk on Saturday and had a nice dinners with Chuck. Going to Cuzzins yogurt both Friday and Saturday was the highlight. I gotta open me a franchise here because like I've said before, I'm addicted.

On Sunday, Maggie and I left for PIB around 8:30. We caught the 11:30ish ferry (I can't remember), had lunch and then took the wave runner out for a spin. It was awesome! We caught a couple of rouge waves and got completely drenched! It was as though 20 people slapped us in the face with giant buckets of water. As hot as it was, it felt great. I also jumped in the lake...the water temperature was really nice. Trip got to PIB around 2 and after helping him to unload the car, he went on a ride as well. Susan, J.J. and Susan's mother Shirley got to the PIB around 5. From there we ate dinner and then after watching Big Brother, Maggie and I were wiped out and went to bed.

Monday, we did much of the same as Sunday. First we went for a nice 3 mile walk with Molly and J.J. Then, Trip and I went and put gas in the wave runner ($3.88 a gallon - can you say ridiculous!!!) before Trip tried to kill me out of the lake. It was SOOOOOO rough and he wasn't being gentle at all. He didn't throw me off but I sure screamed like he was about to. This was also the day that Jimmy arrived!!! He and I went to Frosty's for pizza while Trip, Maggie and Susan took J.J. to the the park. Afterwards, we went to the pool where J.J. had a Popsicle. As you can see, he thoroughly enjoyed it. He looks like the Joker, doesn't he...either that or someone beat the hell out of him.

After the pool, we got home and the lake had calmed down significantly so Maggie and I took the wave runner out. We went around the island and tried to hit some rogue waves but alas, we didn't get lucky there. It was a nice ride though. After dinner and a cart ride, I was once again wiped and hit the sack.

Tuesday, Maggie left us. The days activities included a walk, Jim and I took a bike ride (I got a new sweatshirt), lots of wave runner rides (Trip and I went around the island), dinner, and then all of us - minus Shirley - went putt-putting at the War of 18 Holes! J.J. did really well though he wanted to smack the ball as hard as he could. The putter was too heavy for him to do it though and of course he wouldn't listen to any of us on how to hold the it so it was difficult for him.

Wednesday, Jim and I left the cottage around 10AM but didn't cathc the ferry until 11AM. See, Jim thought we could catch the 10 but I knew he was mistaken...AND!!! because he rushed me, I forgot my cell phone charger and he had to bike back to the house to get it. We would have caught the 10:30 but he wasn't fast enough...dufus. Will he never learn!? Anyway, we managed to get home around 3:30.

I'm hoping to get back to PIB one more time before you-know-what starts back up. Dad and Becky are going in early August so my plan is to go up again on a Monday and come back on a Thursday. We'll see what happens with Jim.

Oh, did I mention that Jim quit his job at Convergys? Yup...last Friday. I'm thrilled for him because he hated it so much. He plans to wait tables at Olive Garden - at least until something else comes along. However, he just called me to tell me he has an interview with a local property rental company as their maintenance guy so we'll see what happens.

Okay, well, it's time for me to eat lunch and figure out what I'm doing for the rest of the day. Later. Oh, and happy Rat-Catchers Day!!!

PIB #2

Just a quick update. Currently at Maggie's - been here since Friday - and about to get in the shower to prepare for drive to PIB. YIPPEE!!! Can't wait to see everyone - and by everyone I mean J.J.

So, Maggie and Charlie have introduced me to a new favorite. I'm going to quit my job and open a Cuzzins! It's a frozen yogurt shop and is deeeeelicious! I'm telling you I'm already addicted. After one "hit" I had to have another. It's like heroin (I gather since I've never been addicted to heroin). I think I'll make Maggie go there on our way out of Columbus today.

Other than that - I've got nothing...left...to...give. I've been sucked dry by Maggie's demands and constant rudeness to me! She's insulting, calls me a fool at every turn and burps rudely in my ear. And she laughs at all her own jokes! She mocks my ability to type/spell and she and I are in fight. She mocks my existence (and essence) that stupid fool bitch. I don't know how I'll sit in a car with her for 2 1/2 hours today...it will be a struggle...the biggest "fight" of my life! She's threatening to tie me to the roof! See what I have to deal with!?

K - best hit it...later.

Getting Bitched At!

Sorry! I know I haven't posted since Tuesday but alas, I just haven't been feeling it. The real reason though is that I've been busy with getting some shit (and I mean shit) together for school - schedules etc. I'll fill you in on that effed up situation later but for now...

...I'm in a hurry because I'm headed to Columbus today. Jim is going to drive me half way up and Maggie and I will meet at the Outlet exit (Jeffersonville). I'll hang at Maggie's until Sunday when she and I will truck up to PIB. Jim will join us Monday and he and I will head home on Wednesday morning. It'll be a whirlwind I'm sure. Can't wait though AND!!! I think Maggie and I are going to go see Eclipse today! YIPPEE!!!

HOT DOG!!! It's Hot Dog Night!!! Hot dogs aren't processed food, right Maggie? We can have hot dogs for dinner tonight, right?! That's on our "eating healthy" diet, right?!

K - I've got lots to do before hitting the road this morning (walk dog, breakfast, finish packing, make list of shit for Jim to do while I'm gone - that could take a while, shower) so I best boogie. Later and if I'm feeling it at Maggie's, I'll post there. I'll call you later today Diane!

I Love Bananas!

I just thought I'd share that cause I just ate one for breakfast and it was delicious. I also had an "everything" bagel and that was yummy too. Jim said it smelled so good that he had to toast one up as well.

So, it the 2 or so hours that I've been up, I've walked Sami (just to the end of the road and back because it's raining) and I've completed a workout. Today I worked out with Gilad. We worked on shoulders, chest, arms, thighs and we did a bit of aerobics. It didn't seem to be a very difficult workout so I may just do another something later. We'll see.

Maggie, today is a day you can celebrate...well, you and Jim. It's "Embrace Your Geekness Day"! Congratulations! Fool! Hee Hee.

So, get this: I checked my email today and I had an invite from one of the guidance counselors at school for a baby shower for the woman I co-taught with for the past two years. Now, the weird thing is that on the list of people invited , there were many people I didn't see who should have been on it (Lisa, Diane and Kim) but one person who I know that the woman doesn't like who was invited (FW). What the F?! I know for a fact that the woman hosting the party and the woman who the party is for DO NOT like FW!? Hmm...Kim, Diane and Lisa, you'll have to tell me if I'm wrong and you did get an invite or not...maybe I missed something.

K - I need to go get in the shower and head to the grocery real quick...need to get a pork loin for dinner to marinate. After that, I don't know what Jim and I will do...the day is wide open. Later!

Straight Man by Richard Russo

My latest is about William Henry Devereaux Jr. ("Hank") - a 50-year-old college professor at a small rural Pennsylvania university. In the course of a single week (of course while his wife is away, tending to her nutty father), Devereaux will have his nose mangled by an angry colleague, imagine his wife is having an affair with more than one friend, wonder if a curvaceous adjunct is trying to seduce him with peach pits, and threaten to execute a goose on local television. All this while coming to terms with his philandering father, the realization that his youth is a mere thing of the past, and the ominous failure of certain vital body functions.

This is the 3rd Richard Russo that I've read and it's also my least favorite. In fact, out of 5 stars? I give it a generous 3 (really I give it 2 1/2 but I'm trying to be nice here...okay so 2 stars...I give it 2 stars). It tried too hard to be clever and witty while in the end it was annoying and mundane...depressing really. The characters were all a bunch of putzes (the most likable character in the book was the goose) and more than a handful of times, I wanted to put it down and start something else. In reality, I skimmed the last half of the book but my recommendation to you would be not to put yourself through this...don't read it at all...waste of time.

I Forgot What Jim Looked Like!

Jim's finally off for the next two days. I feel like I've barely seen him lately which, truthfully, I haven't. I'm about done with this job of his and so is he. He keeps telling me that he's quitting. Of course the rule there is he can quit when he has another job and so far, my husband is all talk and no action. Shocker! I'll have to stick my foot in his ass and move it along a little.

So, what will we be doing for the next two day together? I have no idea. I know I'll be making a delicious dinner of his choice tonight (of course in the summer he always chooses chicken burgers with tomato, basil and mozzarella salad and corn) but other than that, who knows. The weather is iffy so maybe he'll want to go see a movie or something. Right now he's doing some piddling around the house. I'm going to go walk Sami here in a bit and from there we'll see. I also need to get to Blockbuster and return the movie and the True Blood DVDs (and rent the next several episodes) but from there, it's a pickle!

Next Monday and Tuesday we're going to PIB!!! Can't wait. We'll leave SUPER early Monday morning...try and get the 9 or 10 AM ferry and then come home early on Wednesday since Jim has to work. Trip and Susan will be up there so that will be fun. I'll hopefully get up one more time after that...I don't know if Jim will be able to go but maybe Maggie?!

Speaking of Maggie, I think I'll try and go up to Columbus this week, Friday and Saturday. We need to go see Eclipse and since Charlie has some community service thing he has to do on Saturday, why not?!

My God!!! My throat clearing is out of control today! AAAAAHHHHHEEEMMM!!!!

Oh boy! Sami just came in here and yelled at me to get my shit together and take her for her walk! She's all kinds of antsy. I guess I better get a move on before she starts barking at me.

Later!

Don't Step On A Bee Day!!!

How stupid! Why would you only have one day where you observe not stepping on a bee. I try to observe that day every day. In fact (knock on wood) I've observed that so well that never in my life have I stepped on a bee. Or I have and it didn't register because I killed the bee and he thus he didn't sting me.

So the neighborhood "island" is having a yard sale today. Jim, of course, saw this and started taking junk out to sell. After he leaves for work I may just start throwing some of his hoarded shit in the garage away and tell him later that I sold it at the yard sale. Pretty ingenious of me, huh?

Oh, get this: I was going around the circle to see what everyone had out. I stopped to talk to one of my neighbors who was playing with her little one. I asked how old she was and she said, "She'll be two next week...going on 20...she's a bit of a drama queen." So then, she hollered over to my other neighbor, "Jen" and asked if her daughter "Red" was a drama queen. Apparently this gave "Jen" free reign to shout over to us about how "Red's" "friend" arrived 2 years ago but then stopped coming by until 3 days ago and now she's all full up with the drama again since her "friends" back. Every time I see this woman, she starts telling me about her daughters menstrual cycles. No kidding. Two or three years ago she started telling about "Red" getting her "friend" for the first time and how she ruined her sheets! I mean, who tells a neighbor that in casual conversation?! If her daughter knew about this I'm sure there would be a homicide in the circle. Oh, and this is the girl who faked her "near-abduction" a few years back (when I was on the news). No wonder with a mother like that?!

Okay so today I'll just be hanging out around here. It's a Harry Potter weekend on the family channel so if I get bored I can always tune in to my favorite wizard! Love him! Otherwise, I'll just be chillin' outside with my book. It's gorgeous and I need to make sure my tan doesn't fade. I've already taken Sami on her walk (1 mile) but I can't exercise today because I can barely move. I need a break anyway after yesterday. I'm sooooo sore! I need to make sure I don't over do it.

K - so I best get going...later!

Oh My Stars by Lorna Landvik

So...my latest...this one is about the following:

"It's 1937, and shy, homely, 18-year-old Violet Mathers—battered by her mother's desertion, a father's verbal and physical abuse and an accident that cost her her arm—has decided to travel from her Kentucky hometown to the Golden Gate Bridge, from which she plans to jump. As fate will have it, however, the bus she's riding on is totaled in North Dakota. Luckily, she's put up by a warm local family, whose heartthrob son, Kjel (pronounced "shell"), dreams of musical stardom with his black friend Austin, a guitar virtuoso. Pitying Violet, Kjel ropes her into a journey to retrieve Austin's brother, Dallas, a sullen but musically gifted ex-con. By happy accident, the three men fill in for a no-show band at a carnival, enthralling the first of many crowds. As the Pearltones, they soon inspire a mania of Elvis-like proportions, and Violet blooms in their company and proves a savvy manager."

As most Landvik novels follow - this one has twists and turns which leave the characters with whiplash. Lives they planned on having and dreams they planned on following get waylaid by life. Typical.

I liked this novel but of all the Lorna Landvik novels I've read (this, I believe is #4), it was my least favorite. That being said, however, it still made me laugh out loud and I still would always recommend Landvik for a quick, easy, heart-warming read.

I'm Dying!!!

So, as I've said, I'm on a new fitness routine/healthy eating kick. Actually, I don't really eat unhealthily so nothing is much different there but I'm really working hard at doing some sort of workout everyday whether it be walking Sami 2 miles or doing one of my DVR-ed workouts from FitTV. Today, I did a mile with Sami and then did the Total Body Sculpt with Gilad. I nearly keeled over. This guy kicks my ass. I'm either going to die doing this guys routines or I'll end up looking like that lady in the background. I'm betting I keel. I'm still shaking...a 1/2 hour later...arms, legs...ugh! Seriously, if you have FitTV and you can DVR, you should try this guy out. It's a 1/2 hour and he works you hard. Yowza. Shitballs...I can barely stand.

By the way, how old do you think that guy looks? He's 56!!! He maybe looks 40!!!

In other news, today will be a day of cleaning and chilling out. I'm going to go to the video store here in a bit to try and get The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Hopefully Blockbuster will have it. Other than that, I've got nothing. It's supposed to be pretty cloudy and yucky today...rain possible tonight and definitely tomorrow. We need it. It's been over a week since we've had a drop.

Oh, and how excited am I????!!!! BB12 (Big Brother 12) starts tonight! For all of you who are mocking me because I'm a reality TV junkie? Suck it! There's nothing else on TV during the summer, it isn't like I'm not doing other stuff (I read plenty), I workout, and hey, some good, clean/dirty voyeuristic entertainment never hurt anyone...well, it isn't hurting these people since they know exactly what they're getting in to! Anyway, I'm sooooo excited. Should be a juicy summer in the Big Brother house!

K - I'm off...need to shower and get to the video store! Later!

Exciting Day!!!

For one reason only: It's CHOCOLATE DAY!!! What the F!? How am I supposed to celebrate that when I'm on a new and special healthy eating/exercising kick!? F!!!

And speaking of chocolate...how cute is this chocolate lab puppy!!??

In other exciting news, it's "Tell the Truth Day" as well. So here goes...this is me telling the truth: I'm...well, you see...I'm...uh...not a liar and I can't think of anything that I can "tell the truth" about. Hmm...Oh, I know: Mom, one time on the way home from Bethany, before going to IGA I stole a quarter out of your wallet so that I could buy a Reese's Cup. I'm sorry. I can't think of anything else.

Oh, by the way, Maggie just called to tell me (for those of you who've read it or haven't but are interested) The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo just came out on DVD! I'll go tomorrow and try to rent it. Remember though, it's in Swedish so if you don't like subtitles, you won't like this. Read it first though!

In daily plan news, I've already walked the dogs and eaten breakfast. I'm a sweaty mess now and should shower but I think instead I'll lay outside today and read until it's time to head to Trippy Tikki Tavi's...I'm watching J. Bird for a bit while Trip and Susan go to some meeting. Can't wait to see my sweet little love...I'm sure he'll have lots to say about seeing Maggie on Sunday and what a sucker she is and how much more he loves me than her. Who can blame him?!

Okay so, I guess that's it. Later!