Parents Must Think I'm Their Kids "School Mom"

Or a school supply store. Um, not so!

Okay, so I check my school email this morning and I have an email from the parent of one of my juniors. A JUNIOR!!!! IN HIGH SCHOOL!!! 17!!! SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD!!! A KID WHO DRIVES!!! A kid taking Chemistry and Algebra II and I don't ever see him and he's getting A's and B's! He doesn't have a study hall and I'm not even sure he would know me if he saw me in the hallway. Anyway his mother emails me and says, "J lost his planner. Can you get him a new one? You can just drop it off in the office for him to pick up." Oh, yeah, because I just sit behind my desk all day and wait for parents to give me little jobs to do. You know - to fill my day!

I think I'll wait until about 2:23 today to email back and say, "Gee, I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for a supply closet. Yes my room is small but I don't keep extra school planners, or pencils, or paper, or folders or notebooks or index cards or pens or tape or whiteout here for your kid to stock up on at his/her leisure. I can tell you that OFFICE MAX or STAPLES, hell, even TARGET carry all those things so feel free to stop by as your driving your kid to McDonald's or Burger King or whatever gourmet restaurant you plan on feeding him tonight and pick up a few things." Signed: Not your kids mom, Mrs. H.

And no, Maggie, I'm not in a bad mood. Just the same old, same old from these dumb ass parents.

Fair and Square

If I never hear this stupid idiom again, I will be a happy person. I hear it nearly all day long...from Lily...my autistic student.

Lily: "Mrs. H!!!??? I've answered one question of the 31 that you asked me to do. Fair and square!"
Me: "Great."

Lily: "Mrs. H!!!??? I've answered two questions now of the 31 that you asked me to do. Fair and square!"
Me: "Super."

Lily: "Mrs. H!!!??? I'm half-way through answering the 31 questions that you asked me to do. Fair and Square."
Me thinking: "You tell me that one more time I'm going to knock your block off. FAIR AND SQUARE you freaking pain in the ass!!!"
In reality I say: "Okey Dokey."

I don't know what her recent problem is but she has to have affirmation every 5 seconds from an adult in everything she does. And apparently she isn't getting enough of it from me because she told Lisa the other day (I'm sure due to my flippancy) that she felt "unappreciated". Which is just about right.

Yesterday I handed the personal narratives back that the kids had written and Lily got a B. I feared giving her paper back because I knew she would either not give a shit (yeah right) or have a meltdown. So everyone gets theirs and I'm back by her desk and she says, "I'm. I. I just. I don't know. I just feel so ashamed." My answer to this was: "Well, that's not very nice Lily. There are a lot of other students who got that same grade. Should they feel ashamed for an above-average grade?" Lily (the tears about to fall): "I'M SORRY!!!! I WAS JUST SAYING HOW I FELT!!! I'm SORRY!!! I take things literally." Me: "Okay. Well. You LITERALLY got a B! Now suck it up and finish those damn 31 questions!!!" I'm sure she was feeling very unappreciated by me at this point.

K - best finish this masterpiece before heading out the door. Later.

2-Hour Delay

Good thing I was still in my neighborhood. Shitty that I don't have my observer's (Amanda) number to call her about the 2-hour delay. Hopefully she'll get my email.

K - later.

Indecipherable Writing Once Again

It just gets better:

I'm reading the Secret Life of Bees with the kids. Here's a question w/the answer that I got from our favorite writer - let's call her Emily (as in Dickinson since, lets face it, neither of them really make/made a lot of sense):

Question: What act did President Johnson sign (and I give page numbers where the answers are).

The answer should have been the Civil Rights Act

Emily answered: The have rights to be turd

I’m sure it was correct in her mind but I have no idea what “turd” is. I gave her the credit anyway...I'll ask her today what the f*%k a turd is. Hey and at least she spelled "turd" right...if she meant an actual turd that is...and then I'll have to mark it wrong...ugh!

In other news, I'm running late because I blew my hair dry and I have my former favorite student coming in to observe! Yeah!!! Can't wait to see her (Amanda).

K - later

Suffering From Sports Injuries!

Jim and I are both suffering from Wii sports injuries. I also overdid it yesterday with working out and tweaked my right arm. My shoulder is fine but my deltoids are killing me...it feels like I got a tetanus shot! Oy! It's all worth it, however, because I've qualified as a "Pro" in bowling and I have a pretty, pink sparkly ball. My top score so far is a 222...not bad. Jim's top score is a 202...not to show him up or anything. I'm also getting even better at tennis! I'm about 300 points from pro there and my score in golf is rising steadily as well. Baseball is another story all together but I did beat Jim today. We played for a while this morning but decided we needed to rehydrate before getting back out there! I think we may now qualify as losers too! What do you think?

I other news, I got to have dinner with my favorite guy last night! J Bird! Trip and Susan were there too. They had gone to the zoo and then had to head to the Kenwood area and decided to have dinner at Chili's near me so they called me up...I was thrilled. J.J. was decked out in his new San Diego Zoo t-shirt that his Aunt Anne got him. It was too cute! Trip and Susan said it was the BEST day at the zoo they had ever had with him. I love that boy! At the end of the night, he kept giving me kisses! Mmm...love him!

So today, I think Jim and I will be chilling at home and watching football. We talked about going to Shooters but it will probably be too crowded and we won't get to sit at our favorite spots at the bar (where the Mega Touch is). Just as well not to spend the money and just hang on the couch with the babes and chill in front of a fire here.

It rained like cats and dogs last night...there was even thunder and lightening. I didn't hear it but Jim said he did and it freaked Zeke out too. The front yard is a swamp and I don't even want to look at the back yard. Jim fenced the really bad area off yesterday because Zeke was going out there and coming back with mud pies stuck to his ass. Damn dog! What is it about running around in the mud that attracts that boy! I should make him clean the floors!

Okay, I best get showered and get clothes for the week ready. Later...Go Colts and Vikings!

Why I Hate To Teach "Writing"

So recently, I worked with my kids in Language Arts on a writing assignment. Now, understand I hate to "teach" my kids writing. How do you teach kid who can't read beyond a 1st or 2nd grade level the proper way to write a 3 or 5 paragraph essay? These kids are happy with paragraphs that have only 2 sentences and don't get when I ask them to "spice" it up. And if you think I'm being unreasonable or exaggerating! Here's an example of what I'm dealing with. And by the way, this was a "simulated baby" for Family Living class. Oh, and the best part: I know exactly what this says. There was only one word I had difficulty with. Scary.

The day I brought home a baby

I was in family live and it was a portend we had to do and we had to talk home a baby belone home a baby I was so infuse that .I feel sick to my songer .I was scary that I miter mask up. I was so eager and Exide I got to expend what my mom went throe rein me and my brother and sister.

I am happy that I am leaning this sickle like now and not later. It is hard to take care of a baby. And this is what she look like she has blue eye and she is tan. And she really dose cry and she cougher sense .and she feel like a real baby

I was so were out and tare. So on Sunday I seep till 9:30pm. I don’t went to have a baby till. I an 22 year old so I can be reed. I thing I would make a good mom and so dose my mom and gamble

Awesome!

K - I'm out...later

Parents Must Be Special Ed Too

I'm amazed (not really) at how stupid parents are. I guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. I guess these kids are special ed for a reason: They only had "stupid" genes to inherit.

So, to preface...I send out grade updates to parents pretty much every Monday. I do this "according to Edline" (a program we use that parents have access to in order to stay up to date with their kids schooling). Edline grades are "pushed" every day (of the school week) but these grades are only as good as the teacher that enters and keeps their grade books current. A given but something I reiterate when I send grades. So my last update to parents was January 11th...the quarter ended on the 14th so obviously there were probably many changes in those three days. Of course I get an email from a parent disputing what I sent her because they aren't the same as what was posted on Edline 3 days later. I feel like making my response to this pain in the ass parent: "Dear dumb ass parent, look at the date of my email and then look at the date on Edline! I'm assuming you can read since you've read my email and you've responded! Open your eyes and stop asking stupid questions and wasting my time!" Love, Mrs. H! That response wouldn't be a problem, would it?

K - It's National Hugging Day! I would appreciate everyone just leaving me alone. Just kidding. Later!

Crazy Dreams!!!

It's been a while since I've had weird dreams like I did last night.

First, I dreamt that a friend of mine was pregnant...with a puppy...all she knew was that it was part beagle. How the eff did that happen? She hadn't told her mother yet...that she was about to be the grandmother to a human/puppy. It was quite the pickle for her. Especially since her mother was buying all these clothes for the pupbaby. Crazy!

I also dreamt - again - that it was the last week of the quarter for me at U.C. and I hadn't attended any classes. All my finals were coming up and I had to get to class. The problem was, I realized it and left the house without a bra on. I didn't want to go to class without one so of course, I missed again!

In another dream, I couldn't remember where I parked my car. Was walking around and around trying to find it...in Clifton...many streets...many blocks to cover...quite the conundrum.

In another dream I was trying to order a steak and cheese from Subway but the woman on the phone, taking my order was a total bitch. I ended up going to Adriatico's (awesome pizza in Clifton).

That's it...I finally woke up. So crazy...wonder why I feel so tired.

Oooh, Larry, the weatherman, got a haircut...looking good Larry!

K - later

I'm Such An ARSE!!!

I totally forgot my favorite sister-in-law, Susan's birthday! DAMN IT!!! It's all because I didn't make my calendar this year and I didn't have it to remind me of birthdays!!! (This does not bode well for the rest of the year...just a warning to everyone else out there!)

I hope you will forgive me Susan! I would rather forget anyone's birthday but yours because you just about the sweetest person I know and you ALWAYS remember our birthdays!

I hope you had a great day (minus the fact that I forgot!!!) and regardless of the fact that I forgot, I love you and am so glad (and undeserving) to have you as my sister-in-law!

(And by the way, I really blame Trip!!! He should have called to remind me!)

I Got Yelled At...

...and called a FOOL!!! By Maggie!!! How rude!!! Just because I hadn't posted since Thursday!!! And really, it was her fault! She's a FOOL!!! So there! Stick that in your fool cap (pipe) and smoke it! FOOL!!! (By the way, this cartoon was titled "Chicken Fool"...Hahahaha).

Okay, so here's what's been going on. Friday I had a "teacher work day" at school. I got a ton done. All my progress reports and an IEP plus I managed to do a little grading, finishd prep work on a history chapter and that's about it! Progress reports pretty much took me all morning but such is the life of a special ed teacher.

Saturday, Jim and I went to Columbus to hang with Maggie and Charlie. And play games. And eat a delicious lunch (french onion soup) and dinner (beef tenderloin with a wine/chocolate/rosemary sauce!!!) Jim indulged in a bit of alcohol (many different alcohols...mixing is never good) but he wasn't too obnoxious...he just needs to find his "off" button. He's not very good at determining when enough is enough. That's what I'm there for but of course he doesn't listen to me. When will he ever learn? Anyway, we had a good time playing lots of Wii games. I got a 209 in bowling...blew everyone out of the water! Knocked Maggie out in boxing (wish I could do THAT in real life...FOOL) and Jim and I stomped on Charlie and Maggie in tennis! Good times! We are quite the athletes!

Yesterday, Jim and I got home and watched lots of football. SOOOOO happy Dallas lost! Hate Dallas!!! Glad that San Diego lost as well! Hate Phillip Rivers (what an obnoxious ass! I mean look at that dumb face!!! And that's how he acts on the field toward opponents! Such a classless guy doesn't deserve to be in the playoffs!) I do, however like LT so I am bummed for him. The Chargers were just too cocky walking out there yesterday all smiles thinking they were going to win easy! You can't discount what the Jets have done recently!

Oh, and my theory on Phillip Rivers? I think he's an unmedicated kid with ADHD who runs around annoying his whole team! And embarassing them! Ass!

I made my first risotto last night too...chicken and mushroom risotto. It was deeeelicous! It's a bit of a process but not difficult and well worth it.

Today I'll be doing a double dose workout. I haven't worked out since Friday so I need to get back on the horse! Last week was bad too with my sickness. It'll be catch up week for me. Other than that, I'll just get ready for the week and hang with my puppies. Jim works tonight so I'll probably just have my chicken finger salad for dinner.

K - Gotta go kick Jim off the TV downstairs (he's all engrossed in Little House...Mary and Adam were just in an accident. The stagecoach they were riding in just tumbled down a huge hill and Adam's trapped! Blind Mary has to crawl up the hill to try and get help! Jim's on pins and needles! Will she get help in time before the fire that she inadvertently started reaches the stagecoach and roasts her husband alive?! Oh the DRAAAAAMMMAAA). K, I'm out! Later!

Fever's Gone...Back To Work

I don't have much time...I need to get to work to try and get things straight before the kids get there. No idea how much of their "essay" they finished while I was out but hopefully they'll be able to type today.

My fever's gone but my face is running all over the place. Nose, eyes...I can't wear mascara today because my eyes are constantly watering. Literally tears running down my face. Oh well...better than how I was feeling.

K - in other news...my friend Diane's husband was recently interviewed for the local paper. Long story but apparently he's a fanatic about his birds and squirrels. I love this...Mom, I think only you and Richard could rival his love of birds. Check this out (scroll down the page once you get to the link and click on "One Voice" on the right...turn up your volume).

K - I'm out...supposed to get my hair done after school today. Hope I can make it...later

Lily's Ghost by Cheryl Drake Harris

First of all...I've been very lackadaisical about posting my recent reads. I actually finished this book about a week ago but just haven't had the gumption to post about it...most likely because it was only okay.

So this book is about a woman, who, after becoming a doctor in the early 1970s, decides to enlist in the army to go to Vietnam in order to use her expertise to try and save some lives. The novel follows the aftermath and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) that the main character suffers from after returning home. Five years after returning from the war, she's married to a man she never really loved but more importantly she is mother to a boy who helps her maintain the strength that keeps her sane. Eventually, her flashbacks and panic attacks lead her husband to an extra-marital affair and subsequent divorce and custody fight. The story is basically one woman's struggle to find a way out of her past experiences and her fight at not letting the war she can't seem to forget from taking her son away forever.

This book was only okay. There was a ton of back and forth between Vietnam and her present day. I was engrossed in the custody fight part and the PTSD issues she suffered from but the parts where she remembered back to her Vietnam experience bored me. It didn't seem to have a place in the novel and mostly I read the first sentence of those paragraphs and quickly skipped on to the "good part". I will say that the writer did a great job at getting the reader "mad" at the philandering and unfair husband while at the same time seeing the need for the main character to get some much needed therapy. The characters, however, were poorly developed (other than the main character) and the inclusion of new story lines that didn't seem to have a point or never had a reason for being in the book left this reader floundering. In essence, I say, don't waste your time with this one.

Thought I Was Feeling Better

I got up this morning, having already called off from work last night, and I thought..."Hey, I think I feel better!" My throat still hurts and my heads still clogged with shit but I wasn't all achy anymore. Then I took my temperature...it's still at 100! What the eff!!?? I mean, I know that's not much of a temp but still, it's a temp. I'm all sweaty now too. Anyway, I'm headed downstairs to gulp down some more Tylenol and lie on the couch. I will definitely be at school tomorrow though because I have too much shit to do. Later.

Sick Sick Sick!

Home sick...


Head full of gunk...


I'm home nursing my poor throat and dripping sinuses! Ugh!


Feel like shit!

R.I.P. Wolfie

Today, my Mom and Richard's beloved pup, their friend and sweet baby passed away. He was a gentle giant who's life, though somewhat short (he was about 8) was much longer and fuller than it could have been had my parents not come into his life. Through their love and dedication for his health, he was able to live a much richer life, even with congenital heart disease.

Wolfie loved to chase squirrels and birds (much to my mother's dismay) and really anything worth running after and I'm sure, right now in heaven he's surrounded by wildlife and he's chasing to his heart's content without even being winded! (And I'm sure the squirrels in heaven are wondering if they've suddenly been transported into hell!)

There's nothing worse than losing a friend like this, especially when it's so, seemingly unexpected but if it counts for anything in heaven, how we treat our animals on earth, my mom and Richard have a spot saved and all of those sweeties that they've loved and cherished - unconditionally - are sitting there, waiting for them, smiling and wagging their tails!

Mmm...Mmm...Mmm...Sweet J Bird!

It was a good thing, really, that I didn't get to see much of the game last night...watching J Bird and all...I would have been too upset. As it is, I'm glad it wasn't another blow out and we've got a hell of a team to build on for next year (minus Shayne Graham...see ya dude). Trip was in pretty good spirits when he got home (he always is though...he is such a positive fan...never rips on his team even in the worst of times - of which this is not). Anyway, nice season Bengals...we'll get 'em next year!
In sweet J Bird news...he's such a good boy. We played and played and played last night. That boy LOVES!!!!! balls!!! At one point - with 3 balls rolling around in the family room - we went in to his room where there were 5 more balls lying around. He picked up two (regular size pool volleyball balls) and then kicked a giant ball down the hall and into the family room. Then, he ran back into his room to grab the other 2. He then proceeded to bounce the balls off my head. He loves to watch someone head butt the balls. He tries to do it to himself but most times when he tries to throw the balls up into the air, he misses.
In regard to he and Molly - well they just torture each other. Sweet Molly will be sacked out on her ginormous bed and J.J. will run up to her and fall on her, love on her, lay there and just hug her. For a while there I was feeling a bit sorry for the poor tortured (overly hugged) dog until she did the same thing to J.J. There's J, sitting in the corner of the couch, playing with his shape toy thing and Molly decides she wants to look out the window. Well, that just happens to be where J.J. is sitting. Does that stop Molly? Nope...she just climbs on J Bird, knocks him sideways and proceeds to sit her skinny butt into the space provided. J Bird's reaction? He just moved over a bit and I'm pretty sure he didn't even look up from his toy. Sweet.

The video - if it shows - isn't much but it illustrates how J Bird dearly loves to just chase Molly around and hug her (and fall on her) at his whim.

K - gotta go make breakfast! Later

Closed Again!

We were closed yesterday and I just saw on WKRC.com that we are closed today as well. No other news website had us listed as closed yet but channel 12 is always first and regardless, I'm happy as a clam. I had another allergy/nose/sneezing debacle last night so my head could use the extra day off from the kids. And this is why I love winter.

In even more exciting news, Jim's off today too so we will get to play (hide the pickle?) all day! Hee hee...that was for you Maggie. I think I would like to go to Shooter's and have lunch and play a little touch screen. I also need to go to the grocery and figure out what's for dinner tonight. So happy!!!

Tomorrow I will be hanging with my sweet baby J Bird!!! Trip is going to the playoff game and Susan is working so I get to play, play, play! Can't wait. Maggie is so jealous! Jim's working so it'll just be me and J.J. and Molly!

Just got the phone call from work...it's official...a 4-day weekend! And next week we only have the kids through Thursday (work day on Friday with the end of the semester) and then a 3-day weekend! I'll be going to Maggie's on Saturday if Diane is able to watch the pups so that's exciting. Oooh, and Maggie called me last night to say that David Gray is going to be in Columbus on March 27th! She bought us tickets!!! I'm so excited!!! I'm in love with David Gray! I just saw him on Jools Holland too and it made me jones to see him live and then what do you know!? Psyched! He's in Cincinnati on the 23rd too if any of you out there in the Tri-state want to go. He's so awesome!

K - Bubba's downstairs waiting on the couch for me to cuddle so I must mosey! Later and I hope everyone has a fabulous day off!

UPDATE: It's Bubble Bath Day too!!! Can't wait to celebrate that one!

Cortizone - The Wonder Drug

I don't have a lot of time but let me just say that Cortizone is a drug that I'd like to buy stock in. Bubba was able START catching up on sleep he's missed because of itching. Last night was a dream. Bubba didn't dig his face into the carpet one time yesterday. He slept like a baby rock and didn't wake up once to nibble, itch, shake his head or whine in any way. In turn, his momma slept like a baby rock. Oh, and when I got home yesterday, he greeted me at the door (which he hasn't done in days, nay, weeks!), tail wagging, mouth howling (with pleasure) before rolling onto his back for his much deserved belly rub. Love him! His traumatic experience at the vet (Jim said he screamed for 10 minutes) is nearly worth him finally feeling well.

In other news, we've got a nice little storm headed Cincy's way. It sounds like it's going to hit at a really inconvenient time: tomorrow morning. Larry's saying 3-6 inches (possibly beginning at this time tomorrow). So, will my school take precaution and call off or have everyone go to school and then release us? It's a pickle.

K - I'm out...gotta find some black socks to put on. Oh, I'm incredibly sore today. Nearly fell down the stairs when I got up (my muscles were still asleep and protesting the hour). Thank God it's a "rest" day today. K - later.

Waiting For A Delay...At Least

Apparently it snowed more than they expected it would last night and I'm currently sitting in front of the TV (at 5:10) to see if I get at least a delay. All of our/my surrounding schools (Little Miami, Lakota, Milford, Goshen) are delayed. Waiting, waiting, waiting....

I did shower however...I was freezing and in some pretty good, achy pain (from my workout). I have to currently go down the stairs one at a time until my shower/Advil take affect.

Jim said driving home last night was hairy...slick...and he's a good driver in the snow. Great!

Waiting...waiting...waiting...

K - I just checked channel 9 website...it said there were 18 delays/closings but only showed 7. WTF!!!

Damn it!!! I don't care about H1N1 shots!!! And by the way, this reporter SUCKS!!!

Still waiting...oh, okay, here comes the weather. Tell me Larry...great...it's still snowing...more later.

UPDATE: Thursday is looking promising (no jinx)...for, as Larry says, "several inches of snow"!!! Toes, eyes, fingers, legs - crossed.

Still no delay...5:22...ridiculous!

UPDATE #2: Currenlty on a 2-hour delay...I will now be heading downstairs to chill and watch TV there. Later.

Wii

Let me say first - I am one sore chicken!

Yesterday, Jim and I went out and got his birthday present (early - his bday isn't until February 8th) - the Nintendo Wii. I found it cheapest at Costco so after buying the console and all that comes with it we went to Target and got me the EA Active (more on that later). We wanted another remote but Target was completely wiped out. We headed to Best Buy and found one there as well as a remote charging station and Donkey Kong (I wanted either Mario Kart or Mario Bros. but was just as psyched to get DK!!! Love that silly ape!) It was an exciting day.

So, the EA Active...I wanted to get something to give me a good workout and so I researched the Wii fit and other "games". In the end, the EA Active had the most of what I wanted. While at Target, a girl there said it was her favorite Wii workout program and it leaves her sore and physically satisfied (in a workout type way - not sexually though that would be an interesting bonus). Anyway, I tried it out yesterday. I decided to do a 30 day Challenge. My first workout left me with jelly legs and sweating like a pig. It was about a 20 minute workout of running, walking, squats (about 300 of them I think...I HATE squats - cause I can't do them and they kick my ass), inline skating (it had Jim on the ground laughing at me which made me laugh), bicep curls, tricep curls and I think that's it. I don't know how I'm going to be able to work out today with my legs feeling about 400 pounds and wobbly but I'm committed and hope to shed some of this WEIGHT!!!

In other exciting news, I decided to read The Secret Life of Bees with the kids. I went out yesterday looking for the book at 1/2 price - thinking I'd get about 5 of them (at both stores). I lucked out and found the needed 9! I only had to buy one full-priced copy (for me) and I was able to get the movie as well! Yippee!! This is a great book and I can't wait to read it with the kids (they'll probably hate it). First, however, I'll be doing a writing assignment with the kids (ugh!) and preparing chapter questions. I'll probably start the book next Monday!

In weather news - the cold is still hanging on. We won't be seeing highs out of the 20s until next week probably. Thursday and Friday look promising for snow!!! Cross your fingers!

K - best head out since I'm not very prepared for school this week. Later. Oh, I woke up with a sore throat today...uh oh! Cross your fingers that that goes a way...hate sore throats! Later

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

I know, I know...the title is 10 minutes long! I put this book on my "list" long ago because I had heard so many people say how good it was. I didn't know anything about the book and it took about a year of looking for it at 1/2 Price to finally find it. And what do you know but in a round about way, this was another book having to do with WWII and those stupid Nazis! Oh, and by the way, there are two authors because the first author - Mary Ann Shaffer - died while writing it.


The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is set in 1946 - directly after WWII has ended. The main character, Juliet Ashton is an up and coming writer - looking for an idea for her first real novel. While doing this she receives a letter from a man living on the island of Guernsey. He is writing to thank Ms. Ashton for a book she had sold on Charles Lamb (she had two of the same books and sold one to a used book store). Through the letter Ms. Ashton discovers that this small island in the English Channel (between GB and France) had been the only English land to have been "occupied" by the Nazis during WWII. One of the only forms of pleasure that many of the island natives had during this time was to gather periodically and discuss any and all books they happened to have read. Ms. Ashton is fascinated by the story and wants to hear more. As a result, several of the members of the "Society" begin writing her and she starts to piece together the inhabitants heroic lives during such a trying time.


I loved this book! It was more than a book about survivors of the German atrocities during WWII. It was a love story and a coming-of-age story and also a story of survival and so funny! I constantly laughed out loud while reading this novel. The novel reads so quickly too because it is written in the form of letters, sent back and forth between Juliet Ashton, her publishers, friends in England and then those made on Guernsey. If you can get your hands on this book, read it! You'll love it too!

Another Year...

...that I haven't won the lottery! What the hell!!! Guess I'll try again today.

So, New Years Eve...what did I do? How did I celebrate? Well, Jim and I went to his brother's house in Clifton to celebrate his other brother's (Rob) 50th birthday. It was actually a nice time and good to see everyone. Unfortunately, I was ill. My stomach started acting all kinds of crazy when we got there; I almost threw up on my brother-in-law (I managed to race out of the house and didn't actually end up blowin' chunks...thank you Jesus); Jim and I ended up having to leave around 8:30 (though most of the guests were heading out by that point) and I was in bed - trying to sleep sitting up (the only position that didn't make me want to throw up) - by 9:30. I know I'm lame.

This morning I woke up feeling fine and starving. Jim and I just finished breakfast and I'm gearing up for a day of football, movies, a fire, pork and sauerkraut (Mom, where the hell are you? I just called and need some questions answered regarding the traditional feast and you didn't answer!!!) and hugging of dogs. Other than that, I'm going to enjoy my last weekend of vacation bliss. It's cold as hell and not meant to get any warmer! Perfect!!!

K - I've been too long away from my blankets, couch and fire. Plus Psycho's on and I want to catch the thrilling end. Later and happy new year to all!

I'm Old!

So, I was having my daily dose of "celeb gossip" today when I realized that I'm old. I could be considered a "cougar" (if it weren't for the fact that I'm married and none of the guys that I find to be delicious would have me...nor would I ever have the chance to meet them)...it's rather depressing. Just look:

I'm 5 years older than Tiger Woods (now, considering the "ladies" he's been rumored to be with - he may just stoop to someone of my caliber)

I'm 10 (TEN!!!!) years older than Christina Aguilera! That's depressing...cause she so much richer than me...well, let me reword that: She's rich. I'm not.

Jake Gyllenhaal - 10 years! How can that be? I still have a chance with him, right? I mean, he was dumped/dumped Reese! He's free game!

Ryan Seacrest - 4 years older. Now, I don't want him but doesn't he seem more of an age equivalent to say...Dick Clark?! I'm not older than Ryan Seacrest! No way!!! He lied about his age!!!

I'm 11 years older than Sienna Miller which kind of pisses me off cause she's an ass and she dates (the tramp) Jude Law (who's a tramp too, really but still...I'd do him...as long as a condom covered his pickle). How can I be older than that hussy!? By 11 years!!! That's impossible!

And Jude Law!!! I'm older than him by 2 years which isn't much but he has 4 (FOUR!!!) kids!!! One out of wedlock whom he's never even met (rumor has it)!!! Definitely need to double-wrap his pickle when we hook up!

I'm 8 years older than Clay Gaiken (I mean Aiken!) That isn't possible! Now, understand! I don't ever want to do him...in fact if I ever opened my eyes and found myself in bed with him, I would probably need a "Silk Wood" shower cause GROSS!!! He scares me with his botoxed face and waxed eyebrows and weird body! I got the skeeves! I'm sure after seeing this picutre you do too!

I. Am. Twenty. Two. Years. Older. Than. Miley. Cyrus. She could be my daughter. That's sick. I'm so old.

People I'm glad I'm not older than:

Marilyn Manson (1969)

Tonya Harding (Nov. 12 1970)...what a freakin loser!

Kelly Ripa (She's a month older than me and way too cute and pretty and married to Mark Consuelos so of course I'm jealous but at least I can say, "Hey, I'm younger than Kelly Ripa!")

Gwen Stefani (same as above! Married to another hottie!)

Keaun Reeves (1964)...I still have a shot! (So what if he's a terrible actor!) Can you believe he's a year older than Charlie Sheen?!

Marc Anthony (1968)...thank God I'm not older than Skelator! (Check out his nasty pit sweat!)

K - I must head back downstairs and crack the whip to get Jim moving with cleaning the house...later.

Husband For Sale!

I'm about to take a sign that says "free to a good home", tie it around Jim's neck and then tie Jim to the mailbox. There are two different guys that go around on garbage night rummaging for "valuables"...maybe they'll take pity on me and find a place for Jim in their home.

HE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

Why, you ask, considering I've seen him about 5 minutes per day for the past 3 days? Well, first! I've only seen him for about 5 minutes per day for the past 3 days! See, my husband is a procrastinator. He likes to put things off. You know because he's busy lying on the couch or sleeping. THEN!!!! At the last minute, when there's a serious time crunch, he's forced to work like a maniac (maroon) to finish what should have been taken care of weeks ago. Example: Bishop (his brother's property). The first floor has been vacant since - I believe - June. Fritz hasn't been able to rent it (because in this economy he's asking WAAAAAYYYYY too much for the place. A$$). They've had two deals fall through. Recently, Jim finally found a guy to rent it. So Jim is now forced to work like a maniac to get the place spackled, painted and shiny. This could have been done at any time in the past 6 months but guess what? My husband is a MORON!!! So this pisses me off because on my two weeks off when I actually COULD spend time with my husband whom I never see during the school year because of his new job - I'm left at home alone. Walking the dogs by myself! Eating by myself (which I would be doing anyway cause he's worked the last 3 nights). Enjoying my fires by myself!

Another reason Jim's pissing me off?! Well, he's now fed up with himself because of his procrastination (and me bitching) and so this morning when I put my foot down and made him build me a fire (he didn't yesterday) and help me walk the dogs, he was about 1/2 hour late in getting out the door. So that put him in a mood and when he's in a mood, he gets clumsy. So, of course, when he pulled the lasagna out of the fridge to get his lunch together, he dropped it. It cracked the fridge (not the dish though, thank God), spilled ground meat all over the floor (which Bubba was psyched about) and put Jim in a worse mood. Then while I'm up here staying out of his way, he's down in the kitchen slamming things around (I guess trying to really break something) and being a regular ass! So I go down there and say, "Dude, just leave cause you're annoying the piss out of me with all your pounding and stomping around" (like a little bratty boy). Well, then he gets all, "Stop yelling at me" and cringing like I'm running my fingernails down a chalkboard. Me: "Um, I didn't yell so settle your ass down and I wouldn't have had to come down here if YOU!!!! weren't having a temper tantrum!" So he left.

Happy Vacation Muir!!! And I don't need any of your sympathy for Jim either people! I'm NOT being unreasonable! He shouldn't be such a procrastinating pain in my ass! These things wouldn't happen if he was organized and would just step up and GET IT DONE!!!

Needless to say, I've put my foot down about Bishop! If he isn't going to get regular pay from his brother to be the "manager" of the property, we can't afford for him to be Fritz's beck and call boy! I'm done! No more trips down to Clifton for a Bishop fix or maintenance. If we're buying a new car for Jim, he isn't going to wrack up unnecessary miles to work on a place when our place needs his attention!

K - I now need to work out some of my frustrations. And I need to work of some of this flab and cottage cheese off my ass. Later!

Bridge of SIghs by Richard Russo

I know I've been a slow reader lately but in reality, I've been reading rather lengthy books. The latest is no exception. This is the second Richard Russo I've read and it was as good, if not better than the first. The Bridge of Sighs revolves around three main characters really: Lou "Lucy" Lynch, a "simple" man with simple pleasures who prefers living his life burying the complex secrets of his past; Lou's wife Sarah Berg - a woman caught living in two worlds - the separate world of her parents whom she splits her childhood with (summers with her flighty, alcoholic somewhat slutty mother and the rest of her time with her seemingly schizophrenic, self-absorbed, pot-smoking father who would rather forget his daughter for a novel he's writing that will never be finished); last is Bobby Marconi, the boy/man whom neither Lou nor Sarah have seen since he left their hometown after graduation at 18; a person that neither can let go but both, at times would like to forget. The novel takes place in Thomaston, New York - a rather small town in the upper part of the state. It spans about 60 years and weaves itself through the lives of the Lynches, Bergs and Marconis - three families whose lives intersect each other even through the reluctance of certain members of the families. Throughout the novel, the chapters switch "narrator" so that the reader gets an undisguised glimpse into each family and all their secrets. These secrets and the nuances of each family are slowly revealed throughout the novel - secrets that when revealed could leave the lives of Sarah, Lou and Bobby forever changed and not necessarily for the better.

This was a super book! I love the back and forth history of the characters and getting to know them through their human faults and feelings. Richard Russo always does such an amazing job in allowing his characters to be real, human, not-so-perfect. I could never relate to a person who had no faults and it's nice to read a novel whose main characters frustrate you and make you crazy (if only for a chapter or two) in order to reveal the characteristics that all of us have. Read it...you'll love it.

I'm now on to The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I've read it before but wanted to read it again before seeing the movie (which comes out January 15th). If you haven't read it...do...it's tough and raw and shocking and not for the faint of heart but it's such a good piece of writing.

Attack Of The Nose!!!

I know, I know! I haven't posted in 3 days but really - there's been nothing to talk about. Plus, yesterday I had a complete and total attack of the allergies and I really didn't want to get the computer and computer monitor covered in snot, spit and overall head "mess". I'm still fighting the sneezes and my poor nose is a red, raw mess. I think Rudolph may have jumped off Santa's sleigh and landed here in my household.

So, what have I been doing and how was my Christmas? Well, lets see...X-mas Eve was good. Trip, Susan, J Bird, Anne, Dan, Madison and Max were all here. We ate around 6 and everyone was pretty much out the door by 7:30. Jim got off early - around 8 (home at 9) and we cuddled up and hung out until bedtime. Christmas was nice and relaxing. After getting up and opening presents Jim and I had breakfast (delicious casserole) and then watched Harry Potter. We didn't need to be anywhere until about 4 so we had time to just relax. I made my corn fritter casserole for Emily's (again, yummy) and then we were off.

Emily's was nice...she and John are always very hospitable. I don't think, however, I could spend all my holidays like that. To explain...there are 8 kids in John's family. Each one is married. They all have at least two kids (actually only 2 of them have two the rest have 3 or 4). Then, some of those kids are married and have kids. Not to mention all the "family friends" that are invited. There were about 60 people there and though everyone was very nice and it was good to see everyone, I was happy to go home around 8 and relax. Oh, and of course, Fritz was there and Rob and his "lady friend" Carole. Rob was good but a bit "rambley" and he seemed to be a bit drugged up. He told me he was on 4 percocet but it's hard to figure out what's real and what isn't with him.

So today? Jim left early (around 8) to work at Bishop. They've finally rented the downstairs apartment and he's in a rush to get it done this week. He'll be home around 1 to watch the game with me. After that, we'll probably just hang - maybe go play a bit of Mega Touch? He works Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week...off Thursday and Friday. Thursday is Rob's (his brother) 50th birthday. They are having a little family get together at Bishop and Jim and I will go there and celebrate with them. Friday - New Year's Day - I'll make pork and sauerkraut and Jim and I will chill at home. Exciting, I know.

K - that's all...you are all now updated...I'm sure I'll have lots of interesting things to reveal after the little shindig on Thursday. Rob is always a fountain of "crazy" that provides many interesting anecdotes. Later.

My Poor Baby Sami!

Ugh! What a day yesterday! I had sooooooo much to do and I knew I wouldn't be able to get it all done. Oh, and by the way, Sami is fine but she had another seizure (more on that later).

So, I got up yesterday around 7AM. I had to make the sauce for my lasagna...and yes, I wanted to do it Tuesday when I got home from Maggie's but SURPRISE!!! Jim had painted all the kitchen cabinets and I couldn't cook for fear of the steam from the simmering sauce messing them up! Needless to say (I'm a bitch) I was annoyed. I KNOW!!!! It was a nice thing for Jim to do and I appreciate it!!! I DO!!!! BUT!!!! (Of course), he did what he wanted to do rather than what I had actually asked him to do while I was at Maggie's. It's typical of him and I was annoyed.

On a side note: Look at the sky this morning! That's what I'm seeing out my window right now.
Anyway, so I got up and made my sauce. Then I kicked Jim out of bed because I needed him to do the cleaning while I ran errands (shopping for X-mas eve and last minute gifts). I left the house around 10:30 and returned in record time at 12:30. One of the items I bought was the Pedi-Paws (shown)...it files your pets nails down without harming/splitting them. So I was trying it out on Bubba and said, "I wonder how Sami will react to it?" So I went up to her with it on (it hums a little) and she, of course, ran. I noticed when she jumped down from the couch that her back legs were a bit stiff but I didn't think much of it. Jim, who was standing there with me, then let her outside (she had gone to the sliding glass door) and said, "She's acting weird." Me: "Go watch her!" (It's always in my mind - the last/first seizure she had) So Jim watches her and then he shouts my name, runs outside and comes back in with her in his arms. He said that she was running sideways and her legs were stiffening up. He put her on the couch and I said, "Don't act freaky cause she'll feel that and freak out." So we watched her for about 20 seconds and she started seizing. She sort of rocked back on her side and then started shaking and pawing at her face. Jim grabbed her, I blew out candles, Jim got in the back of the car with her and we raced to the vet (Jim sans shoes). Scary.

In the end, the doctor said that yes, this was a seizure. He didn't feel the need, right now, to do any blood work since it had happened before. He told us that in all likelihood, it happened more than we knew but if we see it happening more than once every 3 months, we should get her in to him and possibly put her on anti-convulsive drugs. By the way, she's completely back to normal and was about 15 minutes after we got to the vets. I was calm as a cucumber in the moment and am really pretty proud of myself. Of course I wouldn't let her out of my sight yesterday but that's normal. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this doesn't become a regular thing.

So anyway, after all that, we finally came home and I made my lasagnas, Jim finished cleaning most of the house, we walked the dogs, Jim went shopping (of course he hadn't done that yet and by the way, he didn't finish and got up at 6 this morning to complete his purchases), I bathed the dogs (not Sami, just the boys), and finally!!! I was able to sit down, watch some TV, drink a glass of wine and knit the dog sweater for Maizy (which she probably won't like and probably won't wear).

Today will just be prep work for everyone coming over. I also need to make the breakfast casserole for tomorrow and the veggie that I'm taking to Emily and John's for X-mas (corn fritter casserole). I'll probably put that off until tomorrow though since we won't need to leave until about 3:30 or 4.

So that's it. Pray for an uneventful day for me today and say a little prayer for my baby Sami! Merry Crixmats!!!

Bah Humbug!!!

Happy Humbug Day! That's kind of like the "Have a bad day" day! I hope everyone has a bah humbug day!

In other news, Maggie and I are well on our way to cookie stardom. We've made all the Laura Bush Cowboy Cookies as well as two coffee cakes (for Maggie's neighbors) and I've baked all the peanut butter cookies. They just need to be frosted which I will do when we get home from our errands and movie today. Currently Maggie is doing French Cakes but we will most likely have to finish those later since there is about 10 pounds of batter still left. After we return home today (from seeing New Moon and getting pedicures) we will make more coffee cakes and possibly some thumbprints. Yum!

In other news, Maggie is rude!!! She's giving me all kinds of shit for my peanut butter cookies. She likes peanut butter but she's all up in arms because of the "smell". It smells delicious by the way. She's just a maniac and doesn't like these cookies. Everyone else who has ever tried them has loved them! I might have to kick her ass later.

In Survivor news: I'm completely disgusted by the dumb asses who gave the money to Natalie. She's a sweet girl but no one played the game like Russell. He didn't even want the money, just the title and seriously, he deserves it. The only people who don't agree with me are those players who were played by him and still ridiculously bitter! Get over it!!! You were played like a group of fiddles! Jackasses!

K - I need to go shower, after kicking Maggie's ass, of course. Later!

Cookies, Football and Survivor!!!

So today, December 20th! I will be lounging around in Columbus hangin with Maggie and Charlie making deeeelicious cookies, watching the Bengals stomp on the Chargers (I hate Philip Rivers) and then watching the finale of Survivor! Can't wait. I completely hope that the once-hated Russell takes the million! Best player in history (except for maybe Bob the science teacher from last year...he wasn't as 'ruthless' as Russell but he was smart and innovative). As for the cookies, we will be making French Cakes, Laura Bush Cookies, Coffee Cakes, Peanut Butter and Chocolate Sandwiches, and possibly thumbprints. Aside from serving some at X-mas Eve dinner, I will be sending the rest with Jim to work. Oooh, and maybe I'll take some to John and Emily's for X-mas.

Monday Maggie has "plans". I believe we will be going to see New Moon and then I still need to get Chomper and Madison gifts. Can't wait to see New Moon!!! I've heard it goes completely off the book but apparently they had to do that since "Edward" wasn't in a lot of this one. Anything that includes him more in the movie is okay with me.

Tuesday I will be coming home. I may stop off at the outlets to see if there's anything exciting there but if it looks too crazy, I may skip it. Who knows. I need new clothes though as I'm sick of everything I own.

Oh, Becky called yesterday to say Merry X-mas too before she, Dad and Cullen left for Hawaii! How rude (that they didn't take me)!!! Hee hee. Lucky bitches!

K - that's all...must go drink more coffee and stretch in preparation for COOKIES!!!

Underdog Day!!!

Happy Underdog Day!

In other news, it's the last day before Winter Break!!! Last exam day!!! I'm so happy I could spit!

In Jim-Job news...he finally got his schedule. He's off X-mas but works X-mas Eve. Really the worst possible since we're/I'm having those in town over for dinner that night. Oh well...what're you going to do. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. This job just better work out and Jim better not get his ass fired or I'll fire him too!

I'm still not sure about X-mas day. Jim and I need to talk about it. Fritz (Jim's brother) is in town and Emily (his sister) has invited us over. I think that because we'll/I'll see my family on X-mas Eve, we'll probably just head to Emily's. That seems the most fair to Jim. Otherwise, with his work schedule, he won't get to see them at all.

Um...OH!!! We're under our first "Winter Advisory"!!! Not so much the Cincy area but just east...we'll see what happens. They're saying 1-2 inches, maybe 2-4...what the hell do they know?

K - I'm out. Later

R.I.P. #15 - Chris Henry

So sad.


Father of three.


Finally getting his life together it seemed.


26 years old.


Troubled no more.

Rumors...What's True?

So I was watching my new, favorite X-mas special - again - last night (Prep & Landing) when a quick commercial for the local news came on regarding the car accident and injury of Bengals WR Chris Henry. So I went downstairs to check the Internet. All it said was that he was in a car accident in North Carolina following a domestic dispute with his girlfriend. Apparently he jumped in the back of her pick up while she drove away and then "came out". Next, the phone rang and it was Jim saying, "Did you hear Chris Henry died?" I told him that all the Internet and sports sites were saying was that he was on "life support" and that the situation was "dire". This morning there's no real new news. One person who's a facebook friend of mine posted a prayer for him stating that he is "brain dead". So sad, whatever the news may be. He has certainly had many battles and I hope he comes out of this for another chance.

Okay, no other real news. It's colder than a...penguins...hoo hoo? Jingle bone? Bottle rocket? Pocket rocket? Poka-her-hontas? Prince Charming? Pup tent? It's pretty cold.

K - I'm out...I don't have as much time in the morning when I sleep the extra 1/2 hour during exam week. Sorry Maggie! You are #1 in my thoughts, really! It's all about you!!! Later!

Cat Herders Day!!!

Now, that's an exciting day!

How am I, you ask? I'm much better. I left work about an hour early yesterday because my stomach started its queasiness and my head started pounding again. I came home, relaxed and felt much better. I made myself a delicious dinner last night (chicken Alfredo over egg noodles with broccoli), chugged a ton of water and today I think I'm back to normal. Thank you Jesus. You know, it makes me wonder if how I felt had anything to do, not with the amount of alcohol I had on Saturday but the mixing of red wines. My dad has an intolerance for certain reds and gets migraines from them. I wonder if I have some sort of similar reaction. Well, I know for sure that from now on, I will not be mixing such a wide variety of grapes.

So, today at school starts exam week. It's actually a normal day with 7th period exam at the very end. And...classes are only about 1/2 hour. Tomorrow the fun really begins. Basically, teachers have "planning" until 9:30 Wednesday - Friday. For those days we only have 2 classes - whichever 2 exams are that day. Wednesday I have my language arts exam and Thursday I have world history. Friday, nothing. Wednesday will be my "hardest" day because I'll give my exam and then 2nd period, which is my study hall, I'll have students coming in for Algebra II help. Ugh!

K - I best head upstairs and finish my artwork. Later all.

Sick As A Dog?

Or hungover? That is the question. Yesterday was a day from HELL!!! I didn't think I drank that much on Saturday at Terri's but upon waking up on Sunday, I was throwing up and it felt like my head would pop off. I continued to throw up throughout the day and so couldn't take anything to make my head not feel like my brain was coming out of my eyes and ears. I couldn't keep water down and the bite of toast I had (my sweet Jim waited on me hand and foot) was a ball in my mouth that I couldn't swallow. Finally, after sleeping all day, around 4 I was able to get 4 Ibuprofen down and my head finally started wrap up it's drum solo. I managed to get 1/2 a grilled cheese down from Frisches and a cup of veggie soup and lots of water before heading back to bed at 7:30. Aside from Bubba waking me up 2 times last night, I managed to get sleep and I feel okay this morning. My head is still throbbing a bit behind the eyes but the queasiness is gone. Thank God.

And the sucky thing? Every time I turned on the TV or woke up to watch a bit? Food commercials that made me gag and run for the commode...ugh! And then there's the Bengals. We won't even mention that fiasco. I think they may have been illin like I was yesterday!

K - I have to leave extra early today because I didn't get to the grocery to get my yogurts etc. and I need to get something for lunch. Talk at ya all later...later. Oh, and by the way, my taste buds are all out of whack and everything tastes like shit! Well, just my coffee...tastes like saccharine...yuck!

Saturday!

YAWN!!!! Oh boy it was nice to actually sleep until 7AM this morning. I am sooooo ready for Winter Break at school. One more work week and then...done. I warned the kids earlier this week that if I'm a tad more sarcastic than usual and mean, not to worry, it's just because they're annoying. We all laughed.

So, last night I watched Julie and Julia...cute, cute, cute! I really liked it a lot. Makes me want to get the Julia Child cookbook and cook everything in it. (Speaking of which, why the hell don't I have that cookbook? I will add that to Jimmy's list) Funny thing is, I had been thinking about making Boeuf Bourguignon on Sunday - it's JC's recipe I use - and then, what do you know...the movie hones in on that recipe a couple times. Anyway, if you haven't seen it, do! It just came out on video and was on my "On Demand" channel as well. Meryl Streep is fabu in it.

Today, I plan on going to TJMaxx to hopefully get some jeans and maybe a new sweater to wear tonight. Terri is having her annual tree trimming party and I can't wait but I'm hating all my clothes lately and need some new things. I also need to pick up some wine for the bash. Other than that, I think I'll be hanging with my pups and trying to stay warm. 17 degrees currently in Loveland!

K - I'm out...gonna head and cuddle on the couch with Bubba and read my deeeelicious book. Later.

Colder Than A Witches Boob!!!

Man! I'm cold...and my hair's soaking wet. Well, at least I don't have to pump gas again like I did yesterday morning when the wind was kickin!

So, I'm still boring although I guess that isn't a bad thing. Just not much going on in my life. Jim has, I think, 1 more week of training and then will be on a semi-normal schedule. And by normal, I mean he may not have to work every night until 11:30. However, he won't have weekends off anymore so that sucks. He did tell me the other day that he will always have Sundays off but then yesterday he said he can finally see his schedule but he has no schedule. I told him he better not be mister "I'll wait until it's the last day of training before I ask someone in charge what's going on". I mean, come on!!! Apparently everyone else can see their schedule! Ugh!

Oh, can I just say that money grubbers just suck!? Brian Kelly sucks! Of course he's going to Notre Dame! I mean who really believed his "promise"? Still though, what an ass!? You almost hopes he sucks there! That would be mean though, right? I know a lot of sports news guys here in Cincy are throwing him under the bus for being a dollar chaser, that's for sure!

K -my last IEP of 2009 is today. The mother isn't coming so it's no big deal. Thing that sucks, however, is this is a girl (a junior) who is in all sped classes and reads at a 3rd grade level. Don't even get me started on her writing. Aside from the fact that her sentences are usually not even sentences (subject, verb, all that good stuff) her handwriting is completely illegible. Oh, and did I mention that she "wants to go to college"? And be a vet?! A girl who hasn't even taken the PSAT, SAT, ACT. I tried to tell her - in the nicest way possible - that it would never happen but you know she didn't hear a word I said. Oh stupid kids...what are you gonna do.

K - I'm out...gotta go put on a couple pairs of socks and get cracking.

BTW - Maggie and Charlie - have a great time in Chicago (it would have been more fun, even funner if I were there). Be careful! Buy me something pretty. Later

Bored...Boring

I'm boring...I've got nothing to talk about. Really...nothing...

My gigantic - 3 or 5 gallon - water jug at school has a crack in it and leaked all over the place yesterday.

See, nothing. Boring.

I've got my exams and exam reviews done and copied.

Nothing...boring.

Finished our novel in Language Arts class yesterday...only took 4 months to get through it. We'll start the "movie" today. It isn't a movie about the book but the book is called "Touching Spirit Bear" and the movie is called "Spirit Bear". Any connection I can find to show a movie and I'm there!

I've got nothing else to talk about. Later

Prep and Landing!

Did anyone out there see this last night? It's the new Walt Disney Christmas special. I usually don't watch the new shit because it can't match up to what we - my - generation got to experience (Rudolph, Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, Frosty, The Year without a Santa Claus). However, last night I thought I'd give this a try - it looked so cute and funny! And!!! It was!!! I loved it! I want to watch it again. I wish it were longer. I'm betting that they'll make more specials with this main, elf character (on left...Dave Foley's voice0! If you didn't get to see it, check it out...it's probably on You Tube or something.

Premise: These elves - like the ones you see - are the "prep" elves for Santa. They arrive prior to Santa and ensure that "not a creature is stirring", milk is at drinkable temp, cookies are edible, and finally they prep the landing gear on the roof and bring Santa and his reindeer in safely. There's more "story" in the special but I won't go into it...but it's cute!!!

K - I don't have much time to type...I need to go the back way today (high winds and rain make me wary of the highway and other - stupid - drivers). I also have an IEP to finish for Friday, though the parent isn't coming. Man!!! I hate the wind!!! It makes me so nervous now since the wind storm of last year and it's blowing like a motha out there...and I can't see and who knows if a thousand trees are about to come crashing through the window I'm sitting in front of. And, OH NO!!! Lily is probably going to have a really shitty day today because her nerves will be on edge (she's nuts about wind and storms) and I'm sure her head will be in a screw all day! UGH!!!

K - I'm out...later!

Penis Euphemisms!!!

I had a hard day today (no reason really - I just sat in a sped meeting for 3 1/2 hours today and it made me grumpy...didn't even realize it until I came home and yelled at my husband - over the phone...and I won't see him again, really, until next Saturday...ugh!!!)...so, I figured it was a good time for some asinine, penis euphemism humor (and then I'm heading upstairs for a bit of a soak and good reading).

So, here are some things that make me laugh (new and different ways to refer to the male member - sorry mom but it's funny!!!):

Acorn Andy
Ba-donk-a-donk (an oldie but a goodie)
Bald headed giggle stick (it makes me giggle)
Baloney Pony
Biggus Dickus (that's funny)
Bilbo Baggins
Bits and pieces
Crack Smacker (it's so wrong but it made me laugh out loud!!!)
Dangling Participle (as an English major...how could I resist)
Dilly-ho-ho (Who doesn't love a good ho ho?)
The Giving Tree (good book too)
Hot Popsicle
Pebbles and Bam Bam
Pleasure Pickle
Wanker (a good, solid European reference!!!)
Widgety Wang

I think you should all try to use at least 2 of these in a sentence today. Me, I'll wait until I get home to do so (school is not the right venue...later)

What To Do!!!

I just don't know what to do anymore...about Bubba! Last night was another bad night. It started with his ears bothering him. Then he started driving his face into the carpet - so much so that he made himself cry. I got up (2AM BTW) and cleaned out his ears and then got him up in bed, under the covers. He stopped shaking his head but then he started nibbling his paws...then panting. So...I got him up from under the covers and he would seem to go to sleep but then he would suddenly shake his head or start nibbling his feet again or scratching. Jim finally flipped - and by flipped, I mean he moved in bed so that his head was down at the foot of the bed with Bubba so that he could keep him from doing all of his allergy jigs. They both eventually fell asleep - as did I - but it wasn't until about 3AM. My poor baby.

Today, I'm going to have Jim call the dermatologist vet to see what we can do. I need to know - from a professional - how long I'm supposed to use this food before switching. I'm ready to throw in the towel and try a different protein.

In other news - Who Dey! Yeah Bengals. I do have to say though that they need to work a bit on their penalties! Last count was 9 and talk about frustrating!

In other news, I'm thinking about trying to talk Jim into getting rid of the Blazer to get a better, more efficient (smaller) car. I know he'll most likely fight me on this because he won't have the truck to haul his ladders but with the amount of miles he's travelling these days, it just doesn't make sense to keep it. Plus, if he needed to haul ladders, he could use my car. I now have to look to see what car would best fit my big boy!

K - I'm out...2 more weeks before winter break!!! Oh, and happy cotton candy day! Later

Bathtub Party Day!!!

It's a good day!!! A good day to have a bathtub party, that's for sure...it's colder than penguin's ba-donk-a-donk! It's going to suck to have to give Bubba his bath today...that will not be a party for him! He doesn't seem to mind it so much anymore now that I use the blow dryer on him. He seems to enjoy that! It takes forever but he just lays there and licks his wet paws.

In other news, I woke up with horrible thoughts last night regarding Jim. He went out for a beer after work last night and I woke up thinking about him being in an accident. It was terrible. I don't know if I woke up from a dream or what but then I couldn't fall back asleep until I heard him come in - which was around 2! I may have to put the nix on his Friday-night-beers! (Not really but...)

So, today, Jim and I are supposed to go look at carpet. No telling what time he'll get up though. After that we'll probably just hang! Oh yeah, we gotta get the tree and lights up too! AND!!! It's a Harry Potter weekend so, Yippee!!!

I also need to get my calendar together...I haven't done that yet and I'm running out of time. Ugh! May be half-assed this year!

K - I'm out...gonna go read my really good book and cuddle up on the couch...drink my coffee. Later

The Perfect Gift For Any 2-Year-Old!

So, Maggie and Charlie are leaving me for Christmas this year!!! They're going to Washington to spend the holiday with Kristyn and Dan and Clover. (RUDE!!!) Anyway, Maggie emailed Kristyn about a gift for Clover (she's 2). Kristyn's reply was, "Some sort of toy would probably be good!" My God!!! She's a brilliant mother!!! So Maggie and I were thinking about it and decided that a couple of things may be perfect!!! For instance, Baby Alive - that gets diarrhea! Or a brand new set of permanent markers (perfect for any wall)!!! Or how about toilet paper!!! And include with that a bucket of water! Clover could soak small handfuls of the tissue and whip it at her Momma! We had another idea but I forget what it is...I was all engrossed in Rudolph last night! That and my knitting...I've got my afghan nearly half way complete!!!

Okay so I've got nothing else. I'm excited that it's Thursday! 2 more days of the work week. I have my Language Arts exam done but haven't even looked at my social studies and I've barely touched the 18 progress reports for IEPs that are due to go out in the mail tomorrow! Ugh!!! Time to show movie in all my classes! K - maybe I better motor so I can get to school a little early and get some work done! Later

Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffeneger

Man oh man!!! I waited a long time for Audrey Niffenegger to come out with a new novel (she wrote The Time Traveller's Wife) and this one was certainly an interesting wait!

Her Fearful Symmetry is about mirror-image twins Julia and Valentina. (I say mirror image because though they are identical in looks for the most part, they have mirrored characteristics, i.e. one has a mole on her right cheek, the other on the left. One has her heart placed correctly in the left side of her chest, the other, her right...and so on.) The twins, at 20-years-old inherit their Aunt Elspeth's (who has died of cancer and they've never met) small "fortune" including her London flat. There is a stipulation however: They must live there for 1 year before selling and, while living there, their parents (currently living in Lake Forest, Illinois - outside of Chicago) may not step foot in the flat. Oh, and by the way, the twins mother and Aunt Elspeth were identical twins themselves and haven't spoken or seen each other since the twins were 4 months old. And here the secrets and mysteries begin! Oh, and did I mention that Elspeth is stuck as a ghost in her flat? And her former lover lives downstairs in the first-floor flat? And they live next to Highgate Cemetery where Elspeth is entombed!? Oh it's good!

Needless to say, this book was soooooooo interesting and quite the page turner. I don't want to say much because Maggie is currently reading it but it was deeeeelicious! The ending was quite interesting and a bit bizarre but groovy! I highly recommend this book...it'll keep you on the edge of your seat wondering what will happen next! Oh, and after reading about these two sets of twins I don't think I'll ever wish I had had a twin again!

Well!!! Slap My Ass And Call Me Judy!!!

It's "Special Education Day"!!! Why the hell do I have to go to work if it's my holiday...if we're celebrating me (and my colleagues)!? Bullshit!!!

And can I tell you (an addition to my "Irritations" post from yesterday) parents are soooooo stupid!!! Explanation: I sent an email out to all my parents yesterday with the exam schedule attached. One of my mothers - of a student who I never see - emailed me back telling me that she couldn't open the attachment...could I please print it out and give it to her son? Um, for the 10th time!!!! (She and I have been over and over this) I DON'T EVER SEE YOUR SON!!! Annoying...she's a bit of a pain in the ass anyway...BUT...I'll email her back and ever so sweetly remind her of this and then just put the schedule in the email rather than attached to it. Jesus! Now do you see why I never get anything done at work (aside from the fact that I sit and "IM" Maggie during my "free" time)?

Okay so hopefully Diane will be back at work today!!! I miss her when she's gone, truly! She probably thinks she just sits there during my Language Arts and World History classes and that I don't need her but I DO!!! She's my sidekick; my audience; my laugh track!!! She keeps me from wanting to smack the autism out of Lily! And just so we're clear: NO MORE SICK DAYS!!! NO MORE SURGERIES!!!

K - I better head out...Here's a "World of Cow" cartoon for your Wednesday! (I love their udders, they make me laugh!)

Irritations

Can I just mention some things that have been irritating me for a while?

First - Adam Lambert! Believe me, when I say it has nothing to do with him being gay or even his on stage kiss at the AMA's...I can't stand all the f*$king makeup! It looks like shit! I get wanting to make a statement and I suppose this is the only way he knows how (guess his singing voice isn't enough to pull that off) but I hate it. I don't like dudes with make up. I don't like chicks who wear that much make up.

Second - Tiger Woods. I'm sick of the media. This isn't a guy who flaunts himself in front of the cameras. It isn't a guy who flirts with the paparazzi and then when it gets to be too much throws a punch. This is a guy who HISTORICALLY and FAMOUSLY has avoided the public's prying eyes. So yes, I think he deserves to have his privacy. Nothing that he is doing is against the law...he isn't required to talk to the police. If he had an affair then lets save his kids from having to read all about it later in their lives. And if he did have an affair why is it our business?

Third - There's this girl at school who is annoying and unfortunately sits right in front of my desk for both classes she has in my room (thankfully I don't have her in class). Lets call her Metal Mouth. This is a kid who talks smack about everything and everyone just to get someone, ANYONE to react. And then, when they react by saying, "Shut up Metal Mouth!", "You're annoying Metal Mouth" or "I'm going to kick your ass Metal Mouth" she gets all upset and cries that everyone hates her. (Understand too that I have never said any of these things - directly - to her but they certainly go through my mind about 30 times a day.) Now, I get that she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer and she does have some emotional issues and I TRY really hard to NOT say anything mean to her but let me just say that my tongue is sore as hell from biting it!

Fourth - I'm sick of poor Bubba's itching. He seems a bit better and he'll get his second bath for the week this afternoon but I swear, if something doesn't happen soon to tell me he's turned the corner, I'm going to freak out! I just don't know what else to do for him!

Okay - I'm off to finish this masterpiece and then I'm off to work...I need an idea for dinner tonight - something that will give me leftovers for Jim to take to work for dinner...anyone? Anything? Later