Thanksgiving, Lying Students and a Colonoscopy

So today is Tuesday - the last day before Thanksgiving break which means I don't have to be at school again until next Monday!!! Yeah! And can I just tell you that I need a break? I'm sick of kids that are liars! It drives me insane that kids, for some reason, don't realize that their teachers discuss things together. They seem to think that when adults hit a certain age, they forget how manipulative and deceitful we all were when in high school. Why don't they realize that they WILL get caught when they tell one teacher that they're working with another teacher when in fact they are screwing around? Do they think they came up with this idea on their own? Do they not realize that we all did this as kids and we are hip to their crap? UGH!!! I'm sick of lying, stupid kids who don't realize that this is probably the last time and place in their lives where people actually give a crap if they succeed. Cause in the real world? People will often cheer when you fall as long as they can take your place. How do you teach a kid that? Therein lies my frustration.

So, I got a call from my doctor last night; the gastroenterologist that I went to last Monday. He called to say (at 7:45 PM) that my ultrasound came back normal and that my ovaries look good! You know, they feel really good (I'm kidding - how do I know if my ovaries feel good or not?). Anyway, his next comment: "I'd like to schedule you for a colonoscopy." Me: "Aww, F*%K!" No, I didn't really say that. I just said - okay. So he's going to have Cookie (his nurse) call me to schedule.

So, I get off the phone with Dr. C and immediately call my dad to get the "poop" (God I'm funny) on what to expect. Becky answers, I tell her what's up and she says, "Oh, I have to get one too but I've not had one yet so I'll get your dad so he can tell you more." So Dad gets on the phone and tells me what I can expect with the "study" as he puts it. I knew this conversation would put him in a good mood cause the dude loves to talk about poop! His favorite question as a kid whenever I felt like crap: "Have you had any diarrhea?" So then he proceeds to tell me all about how I'll have to drink this stuff that will (this is verbatim) "make me have a lot of BM's" and will eventually turn my poo to water. Awesome! He said that the prep for the "study" is the worst part but that it isn't painful - just uncomfortable. Super! I can't wait. Then he started to talk about putting the scope up my "rectum" and after that, I tuned him out (not really but I won't make my readers suffer).

So, later as we were about to hang up, he asked me when I was going to get mine done and I said that a nurse was going to be calling me and he says, "Cookie? Ooh, when you talk to her, will you get her number so I can schedule mine? I'm overdue." Sure Dad. I'll get you the number so you can schedule your anal probe! Becky too! I have to sit across the table from them in 2 days and have turkey and stuffing! Maybe I'll take a painkiller before dinner.