A Really Tough Monday Night

R.I.P. Rob Hanke...Jim's brother.  I got a call from Jim, I think I remember the clock saying 4:38 PM, telling me that "Rob was no longer with us".  It's a call, that sadly, has been anticipated.  Rob has had mental and physical health issues for a long time and for the past 5 years, things have not been great.  He's been hosptiatlized many times for complications due to diabetes but he's also suffered from pancratitis as well as bipolar disorder.  I don't have any details.  I don't know what happened.  I don't know how he died.  But I do know that finally!  Finally!  Rob is at peace.  Healthy in heaven.  Clear-headed and with his mother and father...making his own peace and for that I hope Jim can rest at ease.

The problem I'm having here...the thing that is making this so hard is that I'm trying so hard to be strong for Jim!  To be there as a pillar to lean against but every time I think about what's happened...every time I think about what it would be like for me in the same situation...I break.  I lose it.  I can't talk or be that pillar.  Maggie calls...I try to call Anne...I call my mom and I lose it.  I can't think about the ramifications because then...THEN!!! How can I be the strength for Jim!?  UGH!  I can't think about that!  I just have to put it all into perspective for him!  JIM!  HIM! What he's dealing with!  Oh my...it's hard!

K - well, that's all.  I don't know that I'll have it in me to post tomorrow morning...so...just send our your thoughts for Jim and his sister Emily and brother Fritz who are dealing with such a loss...something that I'm unwilling to talk or think about right now..................