My Crazy Colleagues

So I work with a woman who loves to send long-winded crazy emails. Here is an example of one I got today (that made little sense) and following is my response (which I only sent to Lisa because I didn't want to hurt feelings. Understand, I like my colleague who sent the email - she just gives too much info sometimes).

Hi Ladies, Sorry I seem like a hypochondriac (sp?) but the doc said I'm probably just getting used to new school/new germs that's why I've been kinda sickly lately. :-) I would have thought 6 years at another school would have covered all germs. But anyways, as I said this morning I have an upper respiratory infection (sorry, last week I thought it was just asthma) so I'm on an anti-biotic, Musinex, Tylenol, and a new inhaler (needless to say the drugs are making me feel goooood) :-)
Also, as mentioned when asked this morning by Mrs. Hubert and the kids (cuz my voice kinda gives me away I just said it was a head cold and asthma and played it off as no big deal). I just don't want Johnny or Greta to use it as a reason to stay home or "feel sick" or for "anyone else" to call of sick either. But, I am not going to the YMCA tonight to work just b/c the hot indoor pool would really make it hard to breathe. So, someone from the Y will be calling my cell or desk to let me know they have a sub. for me. I'm going to take the call in the back hall or call them back so I also don't portray that it is OK to call off other jobs either. :-) Sorry to sound so devious I just don't want the dramatic crew to have a reason to be more dramatic this week.
Thanks, Sickie


Here was my response:

I just wanted everyone to know - like I've told many others before (Lisa, Diane, anyone who will listen) that what I thought last week to be a mental disorder is in fact just a total lack of caring for other people's issues, problems, sickness, feelings of despair etc. I am currently taking a mix of alcohol to combat this feeling and it seems to help for a while but sadly only at home.
ANYWAYSSSSSSS I didn't say this to anyone before because I didn't want anyone to know why I just didn't give a crap about anything they told me but now you know that this is the case.
Tonight I will not be going home because I'm afraid that if I do, the drama-queen antics of my husband will make it hard to breathe, live, exist. Instead, I will be awaiting a phone call from the Hilton to confirm my reservations. I am going to take the call on the roof, or in my car, possibly under my desk, maybe in the closet (I'll have to clear some stuff out of it so I can fit) wherever I can in order for nosy bitches not to hear me. Sorry to be so devious and annoying but, hey, that is just obviously me.
Thanks and sorry I just don't give a crap about anything anymore. Live with it.
Muir